Dating in Young PeopleSometimes, young people think they can handle their relationship/courtship. But the elderly ones will often insist. Few times the young people succeed in proving them wrong but many other times, we end up at the dead end realizing that they were probably right all along.
One of the things some few aged people will admonish is that young people should not be in courtship or dating as we would call it. This may be due to their perception that young people are not able to handle sexual relationships without serious errors. But could that be entirely true?
What A Guy NeedsFirst, we must agree that the foremost thing that is required for anyone to succeed in a relationship and make it end well is maturity. Not just the male but also the female is also expected to be mature in the way they deal with themselves in the relationship.
One of the struggles of the guys has been to understand what the ladies truly want and in an attempt to experimentally find out, they often get trampled and feel deserted when they discover that their love was wasted.
Maturity naturally comes with age and experience but it is not really a gift that only age gives. Experiences come with age but anyone can experience anything at any time of their life. But one of the greatest source of wisdom and understanding even to young people is having to open their minds to find out from the people that have gone before them.
What a Lady WantsIt's no news that any lady that is interested in a guy considers many things before fully deciding. They often consider things like, does he know how to treat a woman, does he have money, does he have a passionate ambition?
True, those things make the man out of you and I am going to briefly talk about a few of them.
1. Be strong-willed and decisiveMost ladies will naturally gravitate towards a guy that is strong-willed and decisive. They like a man that is not easily influenced or tossed. It is true that at various points everyone has got to compromise certain decisions they hold on to but this should not include those things you strongly stand for. Your core values and strictly-established decisions should remain as they are no matter what.
These ladies subtly watch out for these things from the little things you do on a daily basis. It will be important to add that they seem to appreciate it when you also demonstrate this strong-willingness to them too, though it may seem loving and caring if you always heed to them.
They want someone who can lead them independently, someone who can control them strongly. In this, I want to point out the few exceptions that want to be their own lords. Pardon me to say that those are atypical ladies.
They want someone who can lead them...
2. Be mature and act maturelyChildishness can be viewed from many perspectives. Some would see it from the behavioural perspective where someone is judged as mature or not by the way they behave, their demeanour, or by the manner with which they handle issues.
Another would view it on the premise that certain body attributes depict maturity and advancement in age. Here, the presence of well-formed secondary sexual characters strongly indicates maturity. However, that is not always the case.
3. Be ResponsibleThis is far important in the scale of what your lady wants. Responsibility in this sense denotes your ability to absorb some financial, emotional and physical burdens. They want you to be involved in a gainful activity or job or at least, have a good thought of what you want to do. This is to ensure that their future is secure. They are such a liability, right? But that's the way it is.
4. Be romanticFor certain reasons, ladies want someone who can make them stand out from the crowd of other beautiful ladies. She wants to feel loved and special at all times. And one of the ways they seek to achieve this is having a man that knows how to make them feel so. It is worth noting that being romantic is not synonymous with sex Being romantic can come in any form including but not limited to the way you speak with them, your mannerism of things, holding them to yourself, or just giving of gifts.
Sex is not allI was in a discussion with someone on the thesis that sex can be used to keep a guy or a lady in a relationship. Our findings include the following:
- Young people can be maritally serious with one person and be sexually active with another.
- Some cannot deprive their partners sex because they think that will destroy the relationship(I'm referring to a premarital relationship)
- Some ladies especially could have multiple 'dates' acting different roles.
However we arrived at the conclusion that, whereas sex may be able to hold a union together, it is never recommended before marriage and should not be considered.
Should Dating be disallowed?Recall the opening statement, the elders fully assert that dating or courtship between a boy and a girl should not be allowed solely because even if they are serious with each other, they may not be able to keep their limits and avoid illicit acts. I personally think this is where maturity comes in and their mistake is that they think no one can attain that state of maturity. Anyway, their point is justifiable considering the strong luring pressures that seem to be prevailing. But there is a way out.
Understand Their Weakness and be their StrengthI think one of the reasons why a lady would want a decisive man for courtship is that they believe that he will be able to control their excesses including the weaknesses. Sharing close contacts with a member of the opposite sex really release hormones that trigger them up in preparation for the act. However, it may not be very easy to separate this kind of contacts from the relationships of the present day. So how do you control these pressures then?
I strongly believe that it is within a decisive man's ability to say no to it when the time comes. I can't say categorically of all ladies but I can at least say that ladies who have become serious with their lives and future will prefer to be deprived sex, especially when they are not sure if the union will end up at the alter. In the long run, even if the guy didn't seem to get the benefits it will be honourable of him that he didn't use up a lady he didn't get married to. In addition, the fact that both of you are serious for marriage is still not an excuse to be uncontrollable. As a matter of fact, it is considered a sinful act to indulge in sexual activities before marriage.
Dating is Not wrong in itselfDating (and I mean courtship) may not be as bad as it often results. The problem, however, is that most young people don't know its purpose or are not mature enough to go into it safely. Whereas the man is faced with seemingly greater responsibility, the lady is not left our either. She can also be responsible to herself and her partner too, especially in times when the man is emotionally, financially or physically weak. I believe that both cannot be weak at the same time.
The purpose of dating, however, is to build compatibility and it should be allowed to remain so irrespective of the many evolutions that we see each day. Read about Issues if Compatibility here
ConclusionA guy or a lady needs to be mature in dealing with their relationship partner. Being in a relationship is not equal to being married and it should be allowed to remain so without indulging in sexual activities strictly restricted to the married.
The guy appears to be the centre of the relationship and is expected to be firm in decision making that will in turn positively affect the outcome of the relationship as well as safeguard the future of both themselves and their current partner.
The opinions expressed in this post are the writer's and are not in any way directed to attack anyone or group. You are thus encouraged to air any contrary view of any or all of the above points. Thanks for reading.