"There is only one happiness in the world, to love and to be loved".
For many centuries, philosophers and mystics have believed that we only fall in love with three people in our lifetime, each for a specific purpose.
First, the love that makes us act stupidly, next, the love that breaks us, and lastly, the love that is unconditional and true.
People have wondered how true this could be. But we shall explore the verity of the statement in this post and seek to find the best possible interpretation to it.
You have probably counted the number of people you have loved already after seeing the title of this post and you may have already ruled out how false it is from the result you obtained from your own experience. But just keep reading, you will be amazed to know how true the statement that we fall in love with three people in a lifetime is.
Judging from your own experiences of love, if you have some at all, you may find that the statement has some big truth already even though your figures may be more than the number represented in it, but my slightly modifying your parameters for love, you will soon realise that you have only actually loved three times or less.
I would also want to see it as sequelae of events and not merely some numbers 1, 2 and 3. That is to say, this 3 people could represent three phases of love that you pass through in your lifetime, with the experiences pivotal in shaping your life as an emotional individual and your perception about love.
Falling In Love The First Time - The Love That Feels RightThis usually happens when you are quite young, probably in high school or some time around that period. It’s the idealistic love; the love that seems like the fairy tales you've read and watched while growing up as children. It is the love that appeals to what society and probably your family expects.
In this love, you have high expectations about the relationship and you strongly believe it is going to end successfully in marriage and thereafter, you would live happily together. In this love, you try to do everything possible to make everything work even if it does not feel totally right. Even willing to let go of some of your deeply entrenched principles and core values possibly.
All your actions are borne out of your conceived impression that this is how 'true love' is supposed to be, doing anything and everything for who you love. Hence, it is also referred to as the love that feels right.
But you would soon realise that love is much more complicated than what you thought it to be.
Falling In Love The Second Time - The Hard LoveThis makes me remember falling in love with a young beautiful lady in her early twenties, only to have unresolvable issues a few months down the line.
This love feels like you've met your true love. That's why the outcome seems to hurt a lot.
When compared to the first love, this is more complicated and difficult. It teaches you a lesson about who you are and how you often desire to be loved.
This love forces us to understand who we are as individuals, who our partners are and where we want to go in life. When it breaks, you think that your mistakes caused it and you try to right your supposed wrongs, ready to do things differently in order to bring back the love of your life, but this ends up in the same futile cycles.
You experience manipulations, lies, deceit and hurt each time you try to bring back the union with your ex-lover. Series of breakups, makeups and breakups usually follow until you finally give up on the relationship, ending with a free heart that has recovered from a series of heartbreaking experiences.
However, this relationship makes you stronger and at the end, you better understand the kind of the person who deserves your heart.
"A senior friend once told me how he wished to reunite with his long lost girlfriend. Another friend of mine made the same exact statement. But it all tallied with what I wanted to do with the girl I once loved - reunite. But actually, this love has fulfilled its purpose".
Falling In Love The Third Time - The Love That LastsAfter the hard experience of the second love, you may have vowed never to love again, or at least, not so easily. But just soon after that, someone comes into your life. You never saw it coming.
This is the love that comes too easy to be true. The connection cannot be explained and you fit almost perfectly with your new lover.
This time, you do not expect a fairy-tale love because you have experienced love to great depths and have emotionally, mentally and even physically suffered from it.
Initially, when you first met this person, you may not want to accept them for a relationship because there is something about them that you may not want.
This love will be totally unplanned and arrive suddenly out of the blues. This love may not be dramatic and romantic as the previous affairs but it will provide far more peace of mind and it would grow to become stronger than anything you have ever experienced.
You no longer have to hide your flaws and imperfections as they will accept you for who we are. Though you never imagined that you would end up with the person you have now fallen in love with, you are now much happier from the inside.
This experience breaks your pre-conceived notions of love and shows you that true love doesn’t have to be how you've always thought it to be.
This love that keeps knocking on your door regardless of how long it takes you to answer.
But then he/she walks in and you feel something in your heart, and thereafter, the entire night was sleepless because of the thoughts of him/her. After finding ways to interact with them, you discover certain things that were not in your criteria for choosing a partner, but then, the connection is just getting stronger. This is the same person you have never considered before.
Why Does It Often Begin With The Wrong PersonIt's better to have the good news coming last than having the bad later after the good news may have expired. It's not uncommon to find people meet the wrong person first and then finally meeting someone you will forever cherish over the ones that came before.
When you met the initial persons, you actually thought they were the right ones for you. You tried to please them into remaining with you many times over. This is probably your "second love".
All these experiences, however, are there to prepare you for the one that truly deserves you, the one that does not even remember your mistakes a few seconds after.
Loved More Than Three Times, Or Less?After counting the number of people you've loved, you may have arrived at a number greater than three or less. But this belief emphasizes that you may have actually loved only three people if you looked closer. How closer should that be then?
On the contrary, it could also mean that the three people or times represented in this post could actually represent three love phases in your life and not necessarily three distinct people in your life.
Conclusively, love is a beautiful thing the creator made. So when you think about giving up on love, probably because you just had your "second love experience", I'm not sure what to say to you but I do hope you will find peace at last.
Also, read up:
9 Ways To Move On After A Breakup
21 Signs Someone Truly Loves You