Many people, maybe including you, are sometimes not able to tell you what the problem in the relationship is because they may be thinking you may not see it as important as they do.
Break-ups can come from either guys or the girl in the relationship. On a few occasions, both party mutually agrees to call it quits. But now let's explore together why one of them would want to break or actually even do.
You Were Not Actually DatingThey say "love is blind" but the fatal consequence of that is the illusion that you are already dating when actually there is nothing going on. It does not take telescopes to be able to predict where a relationship is heading to but guys especially sometimes ignore the warning signs that their would-be girlfriend gives to them.
There is a place for persistence and perseverance when fighting for a girl's heart but you must carefully ascertain that she is worth it as time goes on.
A majority of the strong-willed girls that want you will also try to give you a hard time trying to win them over. This they do to ensure that your level of seriousness is optimal enough for her to succumb to. But when you appear to be moving away, she would say words or give you gestures that they want you to stay and keep trying.
However, a girl that does not want you and never will do, will not even think of giving you a chance. If you pester her too much, she may just agree to be friends with you but she is just waiting for the perfect time to run away. At this point, she is just interested in your money and gifts, at least you are ready to offer her willingly just to get her. This, in short, is a very big mistake you cannot afford to make anymore.
Incompatibility IssuesIn one of my previous articles, I talked about compatibility. In that article, I tried to debunk the misconception that compatibility is something that is either present or not. According to that post, compatibility can be acquired with commitment.
However, this has been one of the foremost reasons why breakups occur. Emotional and personality incompatibilities must be addressed promptly before they become a focus for instability in your relationship. Personalities can be modified in line with what your partner prefers especially if you really want to stay committed to him or her. But in cases where it is practically impossible to change your beliefs or personality characteristics for him or her, calling it quits may not be too bad a thing.
For example, in Nigeria and other African malaria-endemic zones. the prevalent SS genotype and the AS carrier traits should be carefully watched out for.
In all, this is one major reason for unplanned breakups in relationships.
Lack of Maturity
Some young people may not be mature enough to stay committed in a relationship. To them, they are just enjoying the moments with you and nothing else. But to the unnoticing guy or lady, they think they are in a relationship that will lead anywhere.
Breakups usually ensue when they think they are not benefitting from the relationship anymore. This is what we may refer to as "friends with benefits". This is quite common amongst those that are scared of marriage or staying committed as I talked about in that post.
The attitude of going into a "test relationship" is the first sign of immaturity. When you realise that this is the case with your partner, you should prevent the inevitable before it hits you hard.
Mistakes and OffencesMistakes and offences are inevitable in every relationship between two or more people. Whereas they should be considered merely as natural pardonable experiences, they remain the leading causes of breakups. Mistakes have often been useful pivots on which breakups can stand. One morning, your girlfriend would just tell you "I don't like the way you cheated on me last year and I don't think I can continue this relationship".
Look carefully, that was about a year ago but she has decided to look for something to hinge her loss of interests in the relationship on. You must ensure to reduce mistakes and offences as much as possible although mistakes are considered a part of life.
That's just an illustration of a more extreme form of mistakes but even very simple mistakes can as well suffice as pivots for a breakup.
Staying committed is the only antidote for breakups following mistakes of any gravity or intensity.
Lack of Emotional Support
Another desire of young people in a relationship or something that looks like one is the openness of mind and body. When I say openness of mind and body here, I am referring to the freedom to express themselves in almost any way they want. You partner want to be interacted with as close as possible and not to be seen to be feared.
Body contacts and gestures reveal that someone is willing to submit their body to you. People who love to be with you will not be afraid to share very close body contacts. For some reasons, some guys who may want to share a future with a lady may not be willing to maintain very close contacts and this she may say as a negative sign of lack of emotional maturity.
Maybe some guys are hoping to prevent the sequelae of pre-marital sex but for her to see that you are truly mature, you must be able to be as close and still be able to control your body. It makes them see that you are really strong emotionally.
A Better Way To See BreakupsBreakups can be painful but you should always look at the bright side of things.
One of the most difficult things to do is moving on after a hard breakup. About 95%(not statistically proven though) of breakups are malignant, that is to say, they are done with the intention to hurt the other party.
Breakups are sometimes worth it because it is better to discontinue what you obviously can't tolerate or continue with. However, it does not have to be done in such a way that the other party perceives you as an enemy thereafter.
I have been caught in such a breakup where I was lost in a maze. I was struggling to find out what happened. She blocked every contact we had and I tried to get to know what was happening.
Then, I reflected and studied hard about the situation and I found out two important things.
First, I found out some of the possible causes of breakups which I have written in this post. Secondly, I found out that my life will always be better without her. It is only a sign that she does not love you.
If at all there is a breakup in a relationship, as matured minds would say it, there should still be enough friendship as there was before the supposed dating began. As much as possible, it should not be an opportunity to create new enemies. The world already has enough of that.