Everybody cheats, men, women, they all cheat. Are you going to say I am wrong?
Someone is said to be cheating when they are romantically involved with someone else behind the backs of their partner with whom they have shown considerable commitment. When we say someone is cheating on their partner, it usually means that someone else saw the signs, or saw them in the act of cheating. These are usually from reports from other people to the partner of the person who they claim to be cheating, however, not many of these are true as they are being described.
Cheating is an act that can be viewed differently by different people. Many would suggest that cheating only refers to when a man or a woman becomes sexually involved with another partner who is not their primary partner. Other people would argue that the act of flirting can also be viewed as a form of cheating. But in whichever case, the best definition of what cheating should be and what it should not depend on what the current partner agrees to.
For example, if my girlfriend says that if I get involved in a romantic conversation with another girl on social media, I am cheating on her, then I would be cheating on her by doing so. If she thinks that by saying "Hi" to another beautiful girl, I am cheating, then I would be cheating by doing so.
But in reality, not all of those acts are typically described as cheating, but can often be misinterpreted by any partner when it comes to their knowledge. Because of this, many partners keep up with other people in certain ways but hide these behaviours from their current partner.
Cheating, in whichever form or magnitude it comes, often have a regretful outcome when discovered. Hence, people try to cover their tracks from their partner as much as possible, especially after doing something that may be misinterpreted as cheating by them.
Why do men cheat?
I started this post by saying "everyone cheat". Men are not the only ones guilty of cheating, in short, many of them are secret victims of cheating but will try to hide their tears behind their smiles. But that is not to say that men are more innocent when it comes to cheating.
Generally, men have a higher tendency to cheat than women. You may want to ask why. Maybe it's because men are more covetous, less disciplined, or are more attracted to beauty, however not confirmed. But men have a complicated emotional system. I will tell you how.
First, society considers cheating by women more grievous than when a man does the same thing or even more. This is one promoting factor already.
Secondly, the temptation to cheat often comes more to men who already have someone in their life, than to women. Women tend to get more attracted to a man who already has a woman in his life. But this is lesser among men. When a woman shows a sign that she is married or engaged to another guy, a majority of the men that comes her way simply show respect by staying romantically away from the woman.
Thirdly, everyone loves great things but men are more attracted by beauty and variety than women. I may be wrong to some extent but men irresistibly admire beautiful body parts of the opposite sex. Beauty brings a man, however, the good character keeps him. A woman who understands the hero instincts will be more likely to keep her man than one who does not.
So, the more and more women of different specs, shapes and sizes a man encounters, the more chances he has to cheat. This is not a justification for cheating but it is the reality.
There may be other reasons why men could cheat more but here are just a few.
Why your girlfriend would think you are cheating
There are several reasons why your girlfriend might think you are cheating even when you are not actually doing so. These reasons can be grouped into the following categories;
- Behavioural changes, etc
Jealousy in some moderate amounts is considered a normal part of every romantic relationship. It gives the partners the reassurance that the other person loves them and can't afford to lose them. On the other hand, jealousy can also be too much that it becomes a problem in the relationship. It makes your partner think you do not trust them, especially when you start monitoring or restricting their activities as a result.
Suspicions begin to build up when your girlfriend starts noticing some new attitudes in you. For example, when you stop paying attention to her and her needs, but you appear to be happy getting comfort from elsewhere other than from her. Some of these suspicions may not be true, but on other occasions, they can be true.
If you are here reading this post about what to do when your girlfriend wrongly thinks you are cheating on her, it could be that you just want to learn more about this experience or that you are actually going through this. I will take these two conditions are your case here, but if you are actually cheating on your girlfriend, I will advise that you stop cheating on her if you truly love her.
Here are some reasons why your girlfriend may think that you are cheating;
- She has caught you cheat before
- She lost some trust when her previous boyfriend cheated on her
- Your lifestyle encourages cheating
- You stopped giving her attention
- You are becoming more secretive
- You are rich, handsome and very nice to the ladies
- You told her she looks bad too many times
- She feels insecure about her body changes
- You stopped giving her great sex
- She is cheating too
Many of these reasons above are not your fault, but for some of those reasons, she thinks you are cheating on her. Let me briefly explain the reasons now.
She has caught you cheat before
You just started dating her when you went out with another girl. You loved her but you were naive and didn't know she already loved you too. Then she caught you going out with this new girl and she ran away with anger and fury. When you noticed, you ran after her as fast as you could but never got to her. A few days later, you found her in her home, apologized to her and she accepted. You regretted what you di but then, it may take a while to erase that from her memory. Any new action that looks similar can make her remember sometimes. This is not a good sign but it happens.
She lost some trust when her previous boyfriend cheated on her
You may not be the one who cheated on her in the past. The fact that it was a man that cheated on her, and you are a man too, can create a feeling of mistrust and insecurity in her about some small actions and behaviours that you may innocently do. Again this is not a good sign but it happens. If you love her, you should try to continually reassure her that you love her and that you will stay committed to her no matter what.
Your lifestyle encourages cheating
What do I mean by "your lifestyle". Are you that jovial, and the extremely social guy every girl just love? If she is an insecure girl, she may erroneously think that you could be using that quality as an advantage to cheat on her, especially when you are away from her. It's okay to have a free-going lifestyle, but to avoid making your girlfriend think that you are using that to cheat on her, you should make her see that you have your boundaries too.
You stopped giving her attention
Whenever you stop doing something that she loves, everybody thinks "what is the problem?" Sometimes, men stop giving their women attention for several reasons. As a rule, giving too much attention is a problem too, but when a woman feels that you have dropped your attention level below what they want from you, the required response is that they draw closer to find out why. If it is not out of negative intentions from you, you can easily explain to her and promise to give her more attention as you can. But if you push her concerns aside, she sticks a nail to it that you are cheating on her.
You are becoming more secretive
You were the guy who was always allowing her to use your phones without restrictions. She knew your passwords, reads your WhatsApp even in your presence. Then suddenly, you changed your passwords, locked your WhatsApp, begins to hide your posts and social media activities from here, what should she think? It is reasonable to say that she may think you have started cheating on her.
You are rich, handsome and very nice to the ladies
Just like for the guy with a very social lifestyle, there is nothing wrong with being rich, handsome and nice to the ladies. But these attributes alone already makes her believe that many other women out there will be seriously out to get you and thus raise her index of suspicion.
You told her she looks bad too many times
Sometimes being honest is okay. If her hair is not kempt, you should be free to express it, but sometimes it is best not to. Ladies love compliments. They would rather want to hear a negative remark in a complimentary way than in a direct, harsh manner. For example, "Hey, hun! I love the new colour of your hair. Are you intentionally making it so?" If she knows how much you love dark hair, she will understand that you are telling her to make some changes to it. By constantly telling her how bad she looks, she may think that you are already seeing someone you think is better than her.
She feels insecure about her body changes
Body changes are normal parts of growth and development. When you constantly bombard her with negative remarks as above, she starts feeling insecure about her body. She begins to think that you have found someone better and she starts trying to get back in shape for you. If all her efforts fail, she begins to feel ashamed about her own body.
You stopped giving her great sex
Just like good attention, she begins to think that something is wrong when you do not make the sex as passionate as it used to be. She wonders, "Are you already doing it with someone else better than her?" You may be going through some other challenges but this could be a possible reason why she begins to think that you are cheating on her, even when you may not be.
She is cheating too
Come on! I had to save this one for the last. People who lie the most are the ones who think that other people lie too. The same goes for cheating. If she is cheating on you, she may think that you are cheating too, or probably cheated on you not too long ago. But the simple rule is that cheaters often think that everyone is like them.
How do you know that she wrongly thinks you are cheating?
Here are a few signs that your girlfriend thinks you are cheating on her even when you may not be doing so.
- She frowns when you are trying to make her smile
- She avoids staying close to you
- She avoids normal chit-chats with you
- She attempts to spy on your phone
- She tries to make you jealous
- She may also avoid looking through your phone if it reminds her about some things
That may not be an exhaustive list of the possible signs that she thinks you are cheating. One important thing to know here is that women express those reactions to someone they love when they want him to sincerely ask them what the problem is. The solution to all these could just be you sitting her down to ask her what the problem is. She may be bold enough to express her feelings but if she is not, you should try to allay her fears and clear her doubts, especially if you are not actually cheating on her.
What to do when your girlfriend wrongly thinks you are cheating on her
I have mentioned some specific solutions in passing during this post, but in this section, you will see the major guidelines on how to win her trust back. Here we go;
- Talk with her
- Resume the good things you stopped doing
- Earn her trust
- Try and try again and again
Talk with her
One simple but effective way to get back on track with the love of your life is to call them for a discussion about the recent happenings and how you can provide a solution to them together. When you do so, they get to open up their fears to you and often, you will see that their reactions are because they love you. This will further reinforce to them that you are committed to the relationship with them.
Resume the good things you stopped doing
If the primary reason why they started thinking and behaving differently to you is that you stopped giving them attention or doing the things she enjoys, it will be important that you start doing those things again if you can. If there is any challenge that may limit you from giving your best to her at that time, you should let her know so that she understands why her expectations may not be met.
Earn her trust
Are you still being haunted by your past mistakes? In her world, you deserve to be, but don't give up proving your loyalty to her. Soon, she will see that you are a changed man and will learn to trust you again.
Try and try again and again
Keep doing your best to make her know that you are not cheating on her. If she still does not believe you, keep trying to make her see that you are loyal to her. If you are not actually cheating on her, you should continue being faithful, continue making her feel loved and special, probably take her to a therapist or family counsellor, but just keep trying if you love her.
Also, I will also love to add that there should be a limit to your attempts to get her to trust and love you. If you have tried and tried again and again to no avail, you should consider how to let them out of your life. You deserve someone who trusts and love you like you trust and love them.
Trust is both earn and freely given. Your girlfriend has the right to think that you are cheating on her even when you are not. Here are ways you can know that she thinks so and what you can do to correct the situation.
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