Are you experiencing hitches in your relationship with your man? He is committed to you, but recently you started noticing that his behaviours towards you are changing, he doesn't seem to pay attention to you like he always does.
Humans are very complex creatures, and it takes a great deal of knowledge to fully understand someone. But trust me, when you fully understand them, it will make a huge difference in your relationship with them. In this case, when you understand what your man's hero instincts are, it will help you trigger them to give you the attention you deserve.
When it comes to getting the attention of the man of your dreams, you'd see many powerful points out there. But one most effective hack to do so is by constantly activating your man's hero instinct, but many ladies do not fully know what this hero instinct means.
Now, what is the hero instincts?
The hero instinct is the instinctive or innate desire of every man to feel like a hero before a woman he loves. Every man has this deep desire without realizing they do, it's hardwired in them.
The term, "hero instincts", was popularized by James Bauer in his renowned book titled "His Secret Obsession". In a video introduction to the book, Bauer mentioned that men have obsessions for food, money and sex, just like every other person in the world, but he added that the hero instinct is the single obsession that is stronger than the other three combined. And this is grossly true.
The hero instinct boils down to the fact that men need to feel needed by the woman they love or are attracted to. Everyone wants to feel important and special, but for men, it is a fundamental need for them to be seen as heroes and not some undervalued friends. But why is the hero instinct important for men?
Why is the hero instinct important to men?
If a woman they love and care about do not believe in their manliness, which I described as the strength to protect, guide and provide, this makes them feel less of themselves.
The worse thing you can do to a man is to make him feel less manly. No man wants to feel that way. There are several ways you can quench the manliness in your man, even without knowing you are, and these all relate to the hero instinct we are talking about now.
Why is it important for you to trigger your man's hero instincts?
Triggering your man's hero instinct goes a long way to enhance how much he loves and cares for you. It makes you get back his full attention. Many crumbling unions have been saved just because of this understanding. In the same vein, many relationships and marriages are on the verge of collapsing because the wife/girlfriend does not know how to trigger the hero instinct in their man. The man is on his way to be with another woman who knows how to trigger him into action.Triggering your man's hero instinct is one powerful way to awaken his most secret and powerful desire to prove his devotion and love for you throughout his lifetime.
When you trigger your man's hero instinct, he does all he can to love you even more. The mistake most women make is that they think they can keep their men glued to them by acting as more important. Yes, this may work to some extent if you are not yet committed to each other, I even doubt this extent, but the truth remains that, men naturally gravitate towards a woman who makes them feel like a hero and away from one who takes them for granted or makes them feel less of themselves.James Bauer also talked about some powerful words that can instantly trigger your man's hero instinct in his book. Also in this post, you are going to learn some actions, gestures and new ways to trigger your man's hero instinct so you can get back his attention. You will also learn one or two things to avoid, that quench his hero instincts, with the aim of making the bond of your relationship and marriage stronger and better.
How To Trigger Your Man's Hero Instincts
- Ask him for help when you are stuck
- Accept gifts from him
- Show appreciation and gratitude to him
- Don't thank him too much
- Listen to him and take his advice
- Give him recognition in front of his peers
- Make him know that he makes you happy
- Encourage him to do what he wants to do and support him in whatever it is
- Apologize when he is offended
- Praise him when he does some great work
- Set or accept challenges with him
Ask Him For Help When You Are Stuck
Don't feel too proud and independent. Ladies talk about independence, and it's great to be independent because that reduces the burden on your man and everyone else. However, you overpush the bounds when you feel too strong to ask your man for help when you need to.
Asking for help, especially when you are stuck, makes him feel stronger and puts him in a position to care for you. This triggers his hero instincts and makes him pay special attention to your needs.
One common mistake ladies make is, they feel afraid to ask their man for help but would rather ask some guy from outside for help when they should be directing them to their husband/boyfriend. The resultant effect is that you get that random guy's attention while you lose your man's attention. Is that what you want? When a guy loves you, he does his best to help you to get better each day.
Accept Gifts From Him
I want to assume that this is not a major problem. Women love the gifts, everyone does. But strangely, some ladies refuse gifts from their spouses when they are already committed or married.
Refusing gifts when you are still getting to know each other may be seen as a courtesy and to establish that you are not after his gifts. This can slide, but when this progress into marriage or very committed stages of your relationship, it sends a negative signal to him that you do not need him in your life.
Have you ever seen the look on a man's face when you refuse his gifts? It puts him off, but he will try to brace up still. Gifts are a sign of love, care and genuine interest in someone. So, when you refuse gifts from your man, it indirectly sends the message to him that he is not worthy to give you gifts, or you do not like his gifts.
Show Appreciation and Gratitude to Him
It's easier to say you appreciate someone, but it's more difficult to show it. Relating to this topic of hero instincts, what do heroes receive after winning their battles in the movies? They receive some rewards, right? This also applies to reality, and your man should not be an exception.
Your man wants to be appreciated when he does something amazing, or something just cool. As you grow with him in the relationship, you begin to notice the kind of rewards he prefers. It could be great sex that night, a special meal, or just a warm hug, but you should do your best to give them their favourite medal or rewards when they do something spectacular. This arouses his hero instincts and makes him keep loving you.
Don't Thank Him Too Much
Yes, I just wrote about appreciation and gratitude. Why am I now saying, don't thank him too much here? You will soon find out.
The difference between someone who genuinely cares about you and someone who doesn't is that the genuine person shows you love and care without even expecting much in return. This is a great attribute but it can also be a problem too.
It is important to know when someone signals you that you have thanked them enough. Otherwise, it becomes disturbing to them. It also makes them feel like you want to pay them back with your thanksgiving, when in fact they want you to know that they genuinely love you. This applies not only to relationships but also to other helps you may receive from certain individuals. The simple thing to note here is that telling them thank you is important but you must know to stop and acknowledge when they tell you it's okay. This way, you make your thank you's become an alternative way of paying them back for what they did when they don't want to be paid back.
Listen to Him and Take His Advice
The truth is, not all advice from your man or anyone is going to work out just fine. But there is always something you can learn from every piece of advice, no matter how small.
Sometimes, your man's suggestions may seem obviously ridiculous before you and you may have determined in your heart that you will ignore it. However, if you do not want to quench his hero instincts towards you, you must reaffirm that you believe in him by listening to him and taking his advice as much as possible. Well! Just by the way, he should listen to you too because you are a team.
You may not have to follow his advice all the time, but you must be seen trying to pick out as many tips from them as possible. You should not make him feel ridiculed about his advice no matter how ridiculous they may seem.
Sometimes, if they have a contrary opinion to yours and you see that both methods could work, deliberately deciding to follow his opinion would go a long way to strengthen your relationship with each other and trigger his hero instincts to love you more. If the advice did not go right in the end, he will stand by you because he knows you obeyed him irrespective of the outcome you may have already projected.This does not mean you cannot hold on to your own suggestions sometimes, but it is important to avoid making him feel like you reject all his suggestions.
Give Him Recognition in Front of His PeersIf you want your man to take you to the top of the world, just make him feel on top of the world. When you give him recognition in front of his peers, that boosts his confidence to serve you more. You should make conscious efforts to speak about him positively in the presence of other people. When people see how much you revere him, they will in turn shower him with the same measure of respect that you have shown him. This boosts his confidence to become more responsible and to love you more.
Some ladies are either too shy or afraid to become vulnerable enough to identify with their men in public. Some men would be able to cope with this and let go, but it is important that you do not leave a loophole in your man's life through which some strange woman will have access to his life and take him from you, especially if you truly love him.
It is also important to say that you should never speak negatively about your partner to other people because when he realizes that you are speaking about his negativity, he will feel betrayed. In times of anger and conflict, try not to say anything about them to a third party until you have talked it through between both of you. That way you will avoid speaking negatively about your partner.
No matter what reasons you have, never disrespect your man in public. When you do so, you would have succeeded in stripping him shamelessly naked before everybody, but you know what, he just cannot stand being so humiliated every time. And this will affect how much his attention will be on you.
Make Him Know How Happy He Makes You FeelWhen praises are being sung to the champions in the movies, you can only imagine how the stars fly around their imaginary golden crown. When a man loves you, he wants to make you happy at all times. And even though, some things that may make one or both of you sad or angry could come, he will still try to make you as happy as he could. However, when you whisper to him that he makes you happy, he receives a sense of achievement that he is not doing too bad in his quest to make you feel happy.
When he starts feeling like he is failing in the relationship, his motivation would reduce and if he tries harder and you still do not deliberately attempt to show him that he is succeeding in making you happy, his interests may begin to wane until they totally disappear.
You should show your happiness outwardly in your smiles, your dressings, your speech, and then you should tell him on some occasions that "you are the one that makes me feel happy".
Encourage Him to Do What He Wants to Do And Support Him in Whatever it isMen are very logical. When men are tempted to become unfaithful, they usually think back to some little but mighty things that their woman has done for them. Amongst all other things, men want a woman to be submissive and supportive. That means, she should be willing to support the husband in the vocation he has chosen. There is always room for helpful suggestions in the family or relationship but if the suggestions do not pull through, you must learn to support him as your boyfriend or husband.
Most men actually cheat because they found someone who does it better than their wife or girlfriend, and when I mean better, I'm not referring to sex. But some of those simple things that he craves.
Apologize When He is OffendedI have recently started announcing the statement that "it takes two to tangle". I don't care to know the origin of that statement or what the original meaning was, but I want to see it as another way of saying that conflicts only arise between two or more people and not less. Conflicts actually arise when both parties stand their ground never to surrender. But no matter who is at fault, you should always maintain that both of you should not go angry at the same time. Be quick to apologize when he is obviously angry with something even if you may not know what that thing is exactly.
One important cause of concern in this is that you may be thinking that it would overwhelm you when you are the only one apologizing for every conflict but that is the same reason why some of these tips should be applied by both parties.
Set or Accept Challenges With Him
Men are naturally competitive. By competitive, I do not mean rivalry or fights, but men love challenges. When two men are doing something together and they want to be effective at it, you often find them setting targets and challenges for themselves. It is important to know that these challenges do not make a winner or a loser. They simply give them an added drive to be more efficient and faster.
Your man may not involve you in his challenges, that is, he may not ask you to compete against him, however, he may set these targets for himself by telling you. He tells you these so you can judge his performance as he proceeds. In order to trigger your man's hero instincts, you should accept these challenges for him or even set targets for him.
Sometimes, you should accept the challenges he throws at you because that can make you even more efficient too. I expect that he would not nag over his victory if he achieves the target before you, he should be matured enough to share any achievements with you too or be okay with it if you achieve the target before him.
This brings me to the end of the ways through which you can trigger your man's hero instincts and get his attention and love. Now, what are those things you do that quench your man's hero instincts? We have talked about a few in the body of the post above, but permit me to talk about something special in the following section.
Things That Quench Your Man's Hero Instincts
The first question you could have asked is that can you quench a man's hero instincts? You see the things we discussed above, not adhering to them, or doing anything that makes your man feel less manly affects his hero instincts and subsequently how much attention you receive from him. So, if you want to quench your man's hero instincts, you should do the opposite of the recommendations above.
However, quenching your man's hero instincts is equivalent to losing him. I don't think any lady in her right frame of mind would want to learn how to lose her man, if so, tell me in the comments so I can give you a thorough post on that. Funny, but that's just by the way.
Now that you have learnt how to trigger your man's hero instincts to get his full attention, you should adhere to them, because, instead of a man to allow you to take his manliness from him, he would rather look for another woman who can make him feel like the man hero he is.
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