Valentine's day is coming. It's the season of love, to love and be loved.
A long time ago, then lived a certain catholic priest who was named Saint Valentinus. This is probably a common story already but I'd say it anyway.
Different legends contend for the veracity of the origin of Valentine's day but the most popular is the one I'm going to narrate here.
Valentine or Valentinus was said to be a priest who served during the third century in Rome. And since wars were still being fought (have war even ceased yet?), Emperor Claudius II outlawed marriage for young men from that time onwards because he observed that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families. After all, the reasons seem rather obvious.
But this new law posed a real threat against love and the expression of love. Saint Valentine who was a priest that believed in love, after realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. Maybe at night, who knows?
But it didn't last so long until Valentine’s actions were discovered. Then Claudius ordered that he be put to death. But this was not easily forgotten by people and thence the celebration of love on Valentine's day.
Another side of the legend insists that it was Saint Valentine of Terni, a bishop, that the holiday was named after. He, too, was beheaded by Claudius II outside Rome. But we do not know which fight of love this bishop fought though.
The first legend above is still the most popularly accepted legend that seeks to explain the origin of Valentine's day. However, one last story exists.
Some long years ago, Christians were tortured by the Roman Empire and Valentine (maybe another one) was noted to have been killed in the attempt to help Christians escape the harsh Roman prisons, where they were often beaten and tortured. These legends are becoming exhausting really, but there is yet one last one.
According to this last legend, an imprisoned Valentine sent the first “valentine” greeting, after he fell in love with a young girl - possibly his jailor’s daughter - who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter signed “From your Valentine”, an expression that is still in use today.
Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories all emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic and - most importantly - romantic figure
Now, what does it mean to be someone's valentine? When you say to your Val, "be my Val", what exactly does that mean?
What It Means To Be Someone's Valentine
The Hidden Message Behind "Be My Val"
- I love you and I want you to be my partner
I Love You And I Want You To Be My Partner
Other Hidden Meanings To "Be My Valentine"
- I want to f**k you, give me a chance
- Let's just have fun, no strings attached
- Hey, come on. I want this friendship to get stronger and we are both single
The major point here is that Valentine's day could have been a perfect opportunity for the shy ones to find love. But now we see that it has also presented another big opportunity for other things as well. Now, how do you identify the intention of that person asking you to be his/her Val?
How Do I Identify The Hidden Message In The Request
Identifying the hidden message behind the request to be someone's Val is very important. This is because if you accept naively without knowing their intentions, you may encounter something unexpected that you are not comfortable with. And secondly, you could miss an opportunity to find love with someone who truly loves you.
There are several stories on the media about valentine partners who ended their date fighting. One of the partners have given the gifts and the other was expected to reciprocate with something the first partner desired, maybe sex or consent to move on together as a couple.
To avoid these problems, it is important to first identify the intent behind the very request, "be my valentine". Here are some ways you can identify the intent;
- Ask specific questions
- Declare your relationship status
- Accept gifts courteously and gift them in return