We all fantasize about that magical moment when we will meet our significant other somewhere across the walkway. Your eyes instantly connect with theirs and your gaze locks in a way that suggests to both of you that this is meant to be. What is love at first sight, does it really exist?
At some points, we have all heard about cute couples who fell in love at first sight, and instantly knew that they were meant for each other from that point on. In some of these cases, everything happened as expected – a lovey-dovey union that continually grew as they continued together. At other times, things may not go as expected, at which times the electrifying feelings of 'love at first sight' ends up in great catastrophes. What then is love at first sight?
Love at First Sight
According to an article published by James A. Grant-Jacob in the Frontiers of Psychology Journal, love at first is a complex phenomenon that involves the reciprocated attraction between two individuals occurring the first time they set eyes on each other. According to the independent writers and researchers – Olson and Marhuetz (2005), Willis and Torodov (2006), Torodov (2008), evolved traits such as intuitive skills have allowed individuals to quickly evaluate a suitable sexual partner in about 100 milliseconds (that's about one-tenth of a second).
Research has demonstrated that several attributes can be deduced at some level of accuracy by merely seeing someone for the first time. Argyle, 1988 and Perret, 2007 has described that an individual's personality and trustworthiness can be perceived in the subtle nonverbal behavioural information conveyed from the facial features such as the eyes. Other information such as their intelligence (Zebrowitz et al., 2002; Kanazawa, 2011), sexual orientation (Rule et al., 2009) can also be deduced at first sight. But how do these relate to love at first sight? Can love also be developed at first sight?
Our ability to perceive another individual's personality can allow us to get attracted to that person even before we initiate any conversation with them. After forming a tentative image of the type of personality that the individual may have, their intelligence level and so on, you immediately determine if they are the kind of person you would like to have in your life.
Certain other features like specific body attributes and personal beauty preferences can also influence your decision to mark someone as a potential partner. Studies on attraction have also shown that we are strongly sexually attracted to lookalikes in physical appearances, with researchers finding out that subjects considered pictures of faces morphed with their own face more attractive and trustworthy.
Now, this is how love at first sight occurs. You meet someone who you have physically found attractive through your intuitive abilities mentioned above, then you try to convey the attraction to the other person by gazing into your face and eyes for a few seconds. The receiver of such attraction may be attracted back to you naturally, not only because they are being appraised as being a suitable partner but, as suggested by Meyers (2012), also because it presents a situation of finding love very easily with less energy.
According to James Grant-Jacob, the individual being admired because they have some lookalike features can also get attracted to you because they perceive you as having similar attributes and a suitable personality too. And as a result, they stare into your eyes in return, creating what we may refer to as "a copulatory gaze". This entire scenery and the eventual copulatory gaze is what is referred to as love at first sight.
'Love at first sight is, therefore, that first impression of instant connection formed between two new individuals when they intuitively determine that both of them are compatible with each other, with an accompanying feeling of love and care.
Love at First Sight, on the Basis of Marriage and Compatibility
On the basis of marriage and compatibility, the following questions about love at first have been raised over the years. I will seek to provide answers to them briefly in this article.
- Is love at first sight true love?
- Is love at first sight real?
- Does love at first sight always end in marriage?
- Is love at first sight required in every marriage?
Is Love at First Sight True Love?
Talking about the idea of true love is a bigger subject for another day because many people have argued persistently that true love does not exist, not to even consider love at first sight a form of true love. But what this question is trying to address is the significant role of love at first sight in establishing a lasting union that may end in marriage.
If we assume that true love exists for the sole purpose of this post, love at first sight will neither fall here nor there. Love at first sight in itself can be erroneous and can lead to a massive disaster along the line, or it can blossom continuously into one of those fairy-tale love stories you may have fantasized about.
Is Love at First Sight Real?
When I was researching this topic, I found something remarkable on Reddit. There were mixed reactions by people when the question 'is love at first sight real?' was posed. The first faction emphasized that love is first sight is just lust, insisting that love is something that develops over time, something that survives the test of time. On the contrary, a woman shared her experience of how she met her husband and love of her life following a love-at-first-sight experience.
Love at first sight may not be real. It may just be like any form of emotional attraction you may have for anything that appeals to your eyes. These may not last long because the commitment to stay with someone requires a dedicated effort from both partners because no two people are 100% compatible.
Does Love at First Sight Always End in Marriage?
The above question already said a lot in addressing this question. Like what you saw in the introduction to this article, you realise that love at first sight is created through intuitions and assumptions deduced from some first impressions, facial features, and sometimes, verbal signals like voice texture and quality, etc. These are usually linked to how compatible the person might be with the admirer for a long-term relationship and if they are accurate enough in predicting compatibility, then the relationship might just last for a long time.
From the experience of some people I have interacted with, it is truly possible to tell a lot about an individual personality, their values and capabilities on the first day of meeting them but this ability is not the same for everyone. Some people are better gifted, or better put, have developed their predicting acumen well enough to achieve some high level of accuracy in predicting compatibility, as well as predicting other behaviours and capabilities of other individuals.
In the long run, if the individuals are confirmed to be compatible with each other and they are committed to make it work, the relationship which began as first impression of love at first sight can end in marriage but this does not always happen.
Is love At First Sight Required For Every Marriage
You may want to begin feeling left out that your marriage did not begin with love at first sight. Even though backed by research that one of every three people would claim that their marriage began as love at first sight, this is not required for every marriage. It is not required for every marriage and depends on the circumstances.
Very often, people marry those with whom they have been casually acquainted with over a long time. After that long period of time, they later realize that they understand each other and are compatible with each other. After this, they finally decide to marry even when they never noticed any significant electrifying attraction from the beginning.
Love at first sight has been theoretically explained as the sense of attraction you have towards another person due to some perceived physical, psychological and emotional similarities which are extrapolated to mean compatibility. This assumption that that emotion or attraction experienced is true is often not true, as love is beyond the feelings, it is a commitment.
You can have lonve at first sight for many different individuals at different times based on their physical attributes and what you perceive their personality to be. Most times, your perceptions may be accurate even though not a 100%, however, love at first sight should not be judged as the basis for love, marriage and true compatibility.