Love is a powerful force, strong enough to do more than the strongest physical force can do. As each day passes by, we come across people who claim to love us and are willing to prove to you that they truly do.
With the rush of love advances that we encounter every day, you may wish to find some ways to verify if someone truly does love you before you fully commit to them for love.
When love catches up with you too soon, you become blind to so many things but when you are careful about your decision to love, nothing catches you unawares. You know who your prospective partner is and you are ready to settle with him or her.
When someone says “they love you”, they mean one of many things including:
- They want you to know that they truly care about you
- They want to arouse some chemistry between you both
- They are missing you and want you to know
- And so much more…
However, the meanings stated above can also be considered fake and you are going to find out how to know the fake from the real thing.
One close term used instead of love but in a more negative way is “lust”. Lust is simply “love” that is not real.
Definitions of lust bear no significant differences from those of love. However, in reality, there are many signs that make you know and differentiate love from lust.
I was deeply engrossed over a lady in my early school days to the extent that I had dreams of her. She was beautiful and intelligent and all I wanted was to have her. But whenever we were together, it just seems like one ordinary friendship that is almost non-existent. But the dreams keep coming when she is away.
In reality, she actually only comes close to me on very few occasions that would seem like a meeting with a highly revered Queen. But whatever love we had for each other may just pass for “calf-love” and infatuations that would simply disappear in a few years.
Today, she is someone I still admire but not for any romantic interactions anymore. Those dreams ceased the moment we were apart and that was the end of Solomon Grundy.
Differences Between Love And Lust
In the 1990s, a team of researchers led by the biological anthropologist, Helen Fisher examined the science behind lust and love. They divided romantic love into three distinct categories: lust, attraction and attachment, each associated with their own brain chemistry.
They found that lust is fueled by a yearning for sexual gratification and releases hormones like testosterone and oestrogen that increases a persons desire to engage in sexual activity with the other person.
Attraction, on the other hand, is an infatuation that goes beyond just sex – for example, you just find yourself daydreaming about them and want to spend more time with them. This is fueled by the release of the love hormones dopamine and norepinephrine, which can lead to the feeling of elation, loss of appetite, loss of sleep, etc, especially when the person is not present.
Whereas, attachment or “companionate love”, tends to be more secure, genuine and longer-lasting than the previous two. It is what we would call the true love because it is not based on some benefits in the short run but on a sense of responsibility to each other and the feeling that you owe them some responsibility with little or no emphasis on the rights you deserve.
Adapted from Huffpost.com
10 Signs That They Truly Loves You
I have had to receive a strong hit of heartbreak when I learnt that the lady I have really loved and was willing to be with did not love me with equal measure. After dealing with it, I have now come up with some signs to recognise if someone truly loves you before you fully commit your heart. Here are the signs that they truly love you:
- He is not in for sex only.
- He gives you gifts without asking for anything in return.
- He is willing to wait.
- He tells others about you.
- He does not hide how much he feels about you.
- He is not afraid to meet your parents.
- He forgives your over-reactions.
- She is free with you.
- She wants to know everything about you even the things you don’t want to talk about.
- She does not object to your requests, except when very necessary.
- She does not put too much pressure on you.
- She tells you about other guys that are disturbing her.
- She is not tired of hearing from you or picking your calls.
- Her friends know good things about you.
- He/she wants to have you with them.
- They tell you that they love and miss you.
- Your wellbeing is always their concern even if it will be against their desires.
- They go through the hard times with you.
- They are emotionally connected with you.
- They ask you about the future.
- They understand you even when nobody else does.
Guys
Ladies
Both
Reports from the research done by some relationship experts have shown some notable differences between love and lust. Everyone has experienced both at certain times of their lives but this information is important for you to validate your own feelings for someone, or to validate the feeling of others towards you.
Love is actually lust without some additional elements. In other words, the same things that lust has are also seen in love but the genuineness of love is seen from the following results arrived at by a team of relationship experts.
- Lust is about a physical connection; Love is about an emotional connection
- Lust is impulsive; Love takes time
- Lust skims the surface; Love goes deeper
- Lust is short and sudden; Love is slow and steady
- Lust decreases with time; Love increases with time
- Lust is more about you; Love is about them
Finding someone who truly loves you is a treasure that you will live to value the rest of your life because they will display to you that they really do love you irrespective of the conditions.
Love has gradually been slipping through many relationships and marriages, and people no longer lookout for love. But when love is found, you will live to forever tell the story.
