This is a lifestyle tip to make you see the good reason why you have that one person that just seems to be your unyielding stumbling block. They will always be there for you but not to your advantage as far as your decision making and choices are concerned. They will always censor your every move and critically judge your choices as though approval would be required from them.
A rough survey of people revealed that almost everybody has, or has had a non-understanding fellow around them at some points in their life. But in this lifestyle blog post, you are going to understand and see the positive sides of the seemingly negative situation, with a view to take advantage and overcome the situation.
Why don’t you ask yourself this question in a split second? Why do we always have someone who opposes almost every move we make? You wanna travel away from them? You just suddenly bump into another one in your new location, making it look like your old rival and top-enemy has assumed another form in your new location. Did you come up with an answer yet?
Life is made up of the choices we make. The things that we do are predicated on some thoughts that we have had within us. But these thoughts would not become physically manifested if we do not act them out.
Most of the time, people give a glimpse of what they want to do before they actually do it. And a few other people actually say it all at a very early stage. And when they do, they realise that not everyone is in support of their choices. It is always better to keep your choices to yourself when they involve some great feats or projects to accomplish. But for some other minor things like deciding to go to the cinema, or buying a house, or making out with a guy or lady, you may not be able to keep them off the hearings of people around you. But then, you just notice that there is always at least one person who will never always agree with you on your current choice about the choice at hand, be it lifestyle, moral, or just aspects of your personal productivity and ventures.
In this post, you will see why you get those oppositions, positive reasons why they come to you in such situations. Thereafter, you will see that when you understand this, those oppositions begin to reduce and eventually go away.
What It Means To Have A Fellow That Does Not Understand
In this context, a fellow that does not understand does not necessarily mean that they have an IQ lower than yours or that they are so illiterate that they cannot understand what you say or do. But it is referring to someone’s inability or unwillingness to agree to your reasons for doing something, solely because they can’t just take your word for it. Many times, it seems like they hate you or they do not want you to progress in your life and endeavours, or that they do not want you to have the exotic lifestyle you dream of having. But there seem to be a natural explanation and justification for this.
Every moment in your life, you make choices that you may have premeditated on in your mind. When it comes to the point where you are required to put your thoughts and decision into action, you often encounter one or more people who would not agree to your own decision and if given the power, they are willing to stop you from doing it.
How You Feel When You Have Such an Opposition
There is no gainsaying the fact that your happiness may surge in the suboptimal direction when you realise that you are constantly being opposed by someone who seems too strong to be pushed aside that easily.
In other words, it does not give you any sense of satisfaction that your constantly receiving direct or indirect opposition from them, in fact, you lose the little joy you have left. But with the recurring nature of such events, you may be made to accept that life is indeed not a bed of roses. The same gravity that opposes upward movement on the earth seems to also materialize as humans that would never agree to reason mutually with you. Why must it be difficult for you to decide? It wouldn’t have been but some gravity-functioning persons have decided to come in your way. And most times, they are too close to easily brush aside or simply avoid.
No matter what decisions you have to make, everyone wants to attain some level of independence and to be free to mean their yes or no independently of external influence. But can we totally rule out external influence from our lives, or should we? I would say that external influence has its own advantages and disadvantages. However, for anyone who wishes to attain some independence, the disadvantages far overpower the few benefits it may have. For people who wish to be closely guided, these external influence could be what they particularly crave for. Such persons would appreciate any attempt to give them some guidance on the things they do and can even accept the forceful guidance in a direction that seems ‘more right’ to them.
But a third category exists, where the person wishes to live their life by themselves and face the consequences of the decisions they make all by themselves. They desire absolute independence and nothing more. However, that third category may have a proportion of individuals who are willing to listen to sound ideas but will be allowed to decide by themselves ultimately. This latter category does not accept any use of force or persuasion for decision making.
Having a companion that does not agree with you on most of your decisions can be an awful experience and the good news is, everyone has to go through that at some stage of your life. But what is the way forward? What are the positive and justifiable reasons why this happens to us? And how do you overcome this and become free from the natural but undesirable phenomenon?
Positive Reasons Why You Have A Non-Consenting Fellow
Here are the positive reasons why they are around you. You will soon discover that they are not unconquerable zombies that you have always thought they are:
To Guide You From Making Terrible Mistakes
But we cannot underestimate the importance of those external inputs we sometimes receive. I would be absolutely right to say that you could have made more mistakes in your life than you already did if you did not receive some external guidance at some point in your life.
These opposing individuals will always be there to stand on your way such that you do not just do things without restrictions. Living a life without restrictions correlates with living a life full of mistakes and regrets. Mistakes are part of our lives but imagine if we lived without any restrictions. It would be a life of hell and more chaos than it already is. Not as though anyone would punish us for the wrongs we did, but from the self-guilt and torment of the grave mistakes we made. And thanks to your freedom to live and do anything unimpeded.
To Improve Your Trust in Yourself
Life wants everyone to believe in themselves and the only way it achieves that is by giving them a reason to doubt themselves first. It seems like training where you have to face your fears, your challenges and oppositions, such that you get stronger than them all the moment you face them head-on.
To Boost Your Resilience and Determination
You are not really confident until you have proven it to the world around you. The bravest heroes are those that stood at the face of the threat that everyone else abhorred.
When you face your oppositions head-on and point to them that you are still in charge of your own life, you have displayed an indisputable act of resilience. It sends a signal to everyone that you are sure of what you are doing and you are determined that nothing can stop you. This is pure determination, unmixed with any form of doubt and mediocrity.
To Enhance Your Productivity and Personal Development
Before you succeed at anything, you first have to display some level of focus and determination or resilience. People around you will always tell you that you cannot succeed in what you want to do or are already doing. Your ‘opposition companion’ will always you tell you that what you are about to do is wrong.
Why does that happen? It’s as though nature want to ensure that you are sure of what you are doing before you do it. We can relate it to the popular “Who Want To Be A Millionaire” game that would ask you “is that your final answer?”. Life just wants you to be sure of what you are doing before you do it so that when the rewards or punishments come, you will be worthy of it. If you are able to follow your own heart after having weighed the pros and the cons, you are more likely to succeed in that venture. Your personal conviction in that activity will remain there to keep you standing when you are faced with discouragements or challenges hit you really hard.
When you are tough and ready to face the challenges that come along the way of your projects and ventures, your productivity is heightened and you are more likely to succeed without giving up along the way. After all, you were fully convinced that you wanted to go into it. But however the outcome, you will proudly accept because it is your decision and no one else’.
To Attain Your Best Lifestyle
Not all those oppositions are actually wrong and uncalled for. They may actually be true guidance for your lifestyle choices. Your decision to start having sex or binge-drinking alcohol before the age of 14 may not be the best choice you would make.
There are many lifestyle choices we make that resemble the scenarios I just painted in the preceding statement. And when we are opposed for some of them, it may be that the lifestyle choice we are about to make is not the best for our life. It may be difficult to differentiate a beneficial from an unnecessary opposition but I’m sure if you do, you will certainly be grateful you had some oppositions at those times.
How do you know beneficial from unnecessary opposition? I actually wanted to ignore this but on second thought, I could just throw some little beams of light to this now.
One way to be safe and guided is to allow some time to think over them for a while. In other words, when you give it time to think about what your friends around you say, you are able to sieve out some wisdom from what they say and discard the non-beneficial ones. But as you so this, one precaution you must take is that you must try not to become overly dependent on those external contributions such that you do not have your own decisions anymore. People avoid those contributions because they do not want to get manipulated or rendered too dependent on them.
To Develop Your Leadership Qualities
Leadership requires your resilience and independence both in decision making and problem-solving. Leadership galvanises smoothly inputs from external sources with those you personally make. That is to say, in the right sense, leadership demands that you are both dependent and independent, a mix of two things that are not naturally miscible. But then, it’s all about creating a stable balance.
Your ability to make your own decisions in the midst of varying ideas that may be conflicting and confusing at the same time, you are required to stand up and make a decision that settles the ongoing chaos. By learning to handle these oppositions from fellows that will not understand and agree with you, you prove that you are ready to assume the position of leadership, a prestigious position that very few people have attained in the whole world.
Should You Ignore Corrections Because You Want To Avoid External Influence?
External influences like I mentioned earlier, can be beneficial. Totally saying ‘no’ to ideas or suggestions from the outside may further limit how well you reach helpful ideas that could make many things easier and better and for you. Not all external inputs are toxic criticisms, some of constructive and you stand a chance to discover how beneficial they could be if only you can give them some ears.
In another post, I will write on how to avoid being negatively influenced by external influence. Subscribe and watch out for it.
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