Let me begin with a personal story of how I was swindled by a girl I liked. She knew I was interested in her and wanted to begin something serious with her but it later became clear she only wanted to sugar-baby me.
That fateful Saturday, I was involved in a conversation with her. She rarely replies to my messages initially but I had remained calm ever since. Then comes this same girl that morning requesting that I buy her some stuff from a confectionery shop nearby.
She was a dark-skinned beautiful girl I had known for quite some time. After a long time of not talking or whatsoever, I recently bumped into her again. That was when I thought of starting something serious with her because I loved her before. Thankfully, at that same time, I was dead-ass single, quite in need of a companion. So why not take this chance?
So, I proceeded to ask her about how she wanted her package to be. She fired on to send me a long list of certain stuff, toppings and stuff I was not so familiar with because I almost never patronize ice-creams and other confectioneries. At first, I resisted her as to why they seemed to be so long and I proceeded to inquire about the prices from the confectionery agent. I promised her already and doing that or even more was a risk I was able to afford at that time. Can you imagine what happened next?
As you keep reading, you will learn about how to avoid being swindled by a sugar-baby girl for whom you have romantic interests, and also what you can to do deal with the sugar-baby girl if she succeeds in swindling you.
Who is a Sugar Baby?
Before now, I decided to look up a word that would best fit the description of a girl who swindles men, then ignores them completely. I did this by conducting a mini-survey on Reddit and here were some of the responses I got;
- Swindler
- Ho (for whore or hoe),
- Sugar baby (which I later decided to use for this post)
- Cunt (what a rage this guy still nurtures!)
One or two responders replied with the name of the sugar-baby who swindled them, implying that their names can be used as synonyms for girls who do that to men. Most of them were funny responses, you might not be able to hold your laugh if you saw the original conversation but I took out these two words for the purpose of this article – Sugar-baby and swindler.
Generally, a sugar-baby can be used for a young person (usually a girl but can be of either sex) who has a mutually dating-like relationship with an older person (usually a much older, wealthy man but can be either sex) who receives gifts of money and other materials in exchange. She agrees for a dating-like relationship could offer sex and other forms of companionship but will never commit to a serious relationship with them.
Sugar-daddy or sugar-mummy is the term used for the older person who is giving out the money and gifts but you don’t necessarily have to be so old to be ‘sugar-baby-ed’, particularly if you are truly interested in a committed relationship with them.
How To Recognize A Sugar Baby
How do you know that a girl whom you are interested in is a sugar baby? A sugar baby is like the direct opposite of someone who is a genuine prospective partner. Hence, I will attempt to make you understand how to recognize a sugar baby by striking comparison between a sugar baby and a genuine girl or partner.
There are many signs that give a sugar-baby away but it is quite surprising that many men still fall hopelessly for their ploy. If you are only interested in pleasures without any commitments, you sure should not have any problems with sugar babies. On the other hand, if you have high hopes and are ready to settle down, permit me to inform you beforehand that a relationship with a sugar baby always ends the same way – She becomes fed up immediately after she has obtained what she wanted from you.
This all makes it important that you know clearly how to recognize a sugar baby early, even before you begin spending your hard-earned money on her. Below are the comparisons that should help you identify a sugar baby, and early enough.
- A genuine girl would live a simple and frank lifestyle within means; a sugar baby would flaunt a classy lifestyle even if it is fake.
- A genuine girl would show you that she is not all out for your money or gifts; a sugar baby will ask you for money or gift at every opportunity she gets.
- A genuine girl would open up her relationship status, if she is single, not single, or complicated when you ask and perceive that you are interested in her; a sugar baby would act in any way possible to prevent you from knowing her relationship status and totally ignore you if you had a chance to ask.
- A genuine girl is often less-expressive, that is, she would try not to express too much romantic feelings so she can find out that you are truly interested in loving her or not; a sugar baby would flash love emojis, call you sweet names or even offer you sex just so you can buy her gifts or give her money.
- A genuine girl would turn down your gift or money if she suspects it might cloud her judgment about you, or would ask you if you are doing it to get her approval. She wants to love you and not your gifts and money; a sugar baby would only pretend to initially resist so she can justify later that she didn’t beg or force you to do anything you did.
My story continues…
Shortly after, the delivery man placed a call across to me when the order arrived. I was at a meeting which I informed the girl earlier, so the delivery man needed me to confirm her identity over the phone. I spoke with her, then the package was released to her.
A few hours later, after I returned from the meeting, I called her so I can hear from her and probably make arrangements to see her but she ignored the call. At first, I thought she was just busy, so I waited for some time and tried calling again but to no avail.
From the onset, I had anticipated any possibility but it was a risk I was willing to take. After a while, I re-dialled her number about two more times and then left a message to her chat. You already know what happened thereafter; she ignored me completely until I gave up trying.
Risks are worth taking when you are interested in someone, be it financial or emotional, but you should not allow yourself to spend all your money in the name of trying to establish if a girl is genuine or a sugar-babies. This is why it is very crucial that you understand how to identify a sugar-baby early enough, even before you have the chance to spend your money on her.
How To Deal With A Sugar-baby Who Just Swindled You
Dealing with a woman who has succeeded in using you for your money requires a high level of maturity from you. This maturity depends on your knowledge about these situations and your ability to control your emotions without taking uncensored decisions. Here are some ways you can deal with a sugar-baby who just swindled you and is completely ignoring you
- Stop trying to reach her after a number of times
- Quickly erase your expectations to be with her
- Think of the money/gift as just any other gift
- Act unbothered and unmoved when next you see her
- Look for a more deserving partner
I have told you how to recognize a fake girl before they get the chance to swindle you, and I am going to show you some precautions to avoid being swindled but before I do that, let me briefly explain the above points above.
Stop Trying To Reach Her
After you have tried reaching her phone a number of times, you should consider taking a break. While you may have the urge to call her or text her for explanations, a girl who ignores you after receiving a significant amount of money or gifts from you does not deserve your efforts at all.
In trying to reach her, you may be putting yourself under undue pressure and that can make you more emotional about the situation. Being emotional is the last thing you want at the moment, trust me. You don’t want to feel as though you have just had a heartbreak, do you?
Quickly Erase Your Expectations
It is time you totally expel any expectations you had that made you act so generously to your deceptive mistress. There is no doubt you are deeply interested in this girl, but it’s not only about you. Does she love you the same way?
There is no point in being with a woman who has the guts to swindle you for any reason. There are better ones out there who would rather see you succeed than steal from you and later turn a deaf ear.
Think Of It As Just Any Gift
One of the first precautions against minimizing the impact of swindling by a deceptive woman was what I applied for the case scenario I talked about here – give what you can afford to lose. Maybe I can talk about this better in the final section of this article but that also helps you to quickly move on should it end as a case of a fake, unserious, deceptive sugar-baby.
Act Unbothered When Next You See
Many of those women who swindle unsuspecting partners derive some form of self-worth and gratification from swindling men. It makes them feel bigger and more powerful. They sometimes even tell the story of how they have succeeded in using several men and dumping them thereafter but if you are smart, you can turn the table around.
Over 80 per cent of their victims would show weakness after the incident. When you stop calling her after a couple of tries, you would have succeeded in making her worry about why your case is being different. Thereafter, acting unbothered and unmoved the next time you see her would put her into a state of utter confusion as to why you are so unmoved by her deceit. This gives her the worst checkmate she has ever had in her recent adult life.
Find A More Deserving Partner
You gave it your best shot to find love but it turns out to be fake. It’s painful but that’s not enough reason to give up on loving. It’s not enough reason to generalise that all girls are the same. There is definitely that girl that will make forget all the misery, heartaches and heartbreaks you are currently experiencing.
What do you do when an investment fails on the first try? You try again, right? Finding love is an investment worth making and sooner than later, you will realise that it’s all worth it.
Precautions to avoid being bitterly swindled
Just as I promised you, here are some ways to prevent being swindled or to reduce the impact in case you already fell for the trap.
- Recognize the early warning signs of a swindler described above
- Don’t feel pressured to pay any money
- If you feel willing to give, only give what you can afford to lose without regrets
- Never send money to a woman you have not seen within the last 48 hours
- Find out from her friends and people close to her if you are not so sure about her type
- If you already fell for her tricks, refer to the ways to deal with a sugar-baby above
