Is there any phrase more misleading than saying “If they love you, they will come back to you no matter what”? I have heard a few people talk about it and in some ways, I have seen this kind of love in action. But I also question this ideology and try to find out what exactly it means when someone says “If they love you, they will come right back no matter what”.
Love is beyond a feeling, it is an experience. Having a form of genuine love for someone has to be the sweetest thing that could ever happen to you. However, love itself, is as strange as it is beautiful.
If someone loves you, they won’t leave you so easily. Love is commitment, and when someone truly wants you, they would do what they can to get back with you when there is an issue between you. This, therefore, means that there might be some truth in the saying, “If they love you, they will come back to you”. The next question is, to what extent can this hold true?
Why someone comes back when they love you
If this is what you have been waiting to hear, the good news is if someone loves you, they will come back to you when you push them away. This is only true on the condition that you are not intentionally pushing them away.
We engage in different actions that might offend the ones we love. Sometimes, we do things that make them feel unloved, howbeit, unintentionally. As long as it is simply a thing of offence, someone who loves you will always find a way to forgive you and come back to you.
But if you intentionally push someone who loves you away, or gives them the impression that you don’t feel the same for them, consider it the end. You won’t see them again. Love requires mutual feelings for its sustenance. One partner must know and feel that the other partner loves him/her as much as he/she loves them. This way, love will always be sustained.
In what situations will they not come back?
If you are trying to push someone who loves you away because you want to test if they will come back and prove their love for you, get ready to lose your closest person. This is because it is human instinct to avoid people that don’t want you in their lives. No one wants to be a burden to someone else all in the name of love, and if you think they are ever going to keep coming back, you would be surprised.
Here are some situations when someone will never come back when you push them away;
- When you don’t reciprocate the affection.
- When you act like they are disturbing you.
- When you trample on their ego.
- When you directly tell them you don’t want them.
The list can be endless but the common thing is no matter how much someone loves you when you make them feel worthless and unwanted, they won’t come back to you unless you show them you love them too.
How people test love by pushing you away
Several times, I have heard people say that they have to test their partner to see how much he/she loves them. They would set up occasions that would offend their partner and see how they would react. They do this to test if their partner would always come back no matter how they are treated. This looks like a nice concept but it has its own shortcomings.
Love is meant to be tested. It is meant to be built and nurtured. So, this ideology of pushing your lover away with the hope that they would return if they love you will make you lose the dearest person you ever had.
How to make someone come back after pushing them away
If there is ever a way you can push someone away and make them come back to you, here it is. Does anyone ever want to push someone they love away? The answer is no and yes. No, because you don’t want to lose someone you love. Yes, because you want to put this theory of ‘pushing them away and they coming back to you when they love you’.
Genuine love requires openness and transparency. It requires a fine blend of carefulness and carelessness. You need to be careful to avoid displeasing your partner but at the same time, you don’t want to be too pretentious. You want to be yourself as much as you can. This is important because someone who loves you has to love you for who you are and not based on some pretentious image you put up.
So, the best way to find someone who truly loves is by presenting yourself honestly to them. If that normally pushes other people away, you can be guaranteed that the one who loves you will stick by you no matter what other people say.
Be your best self, they would come back
This is the summary of everything I have said above. Push them away, they will come back to you no matter what. Make them feel loved, show them genuine care, but don’t be afraid to be your best self. There is no point pretending to keep someone in your life. That doesn’t last.
If you think you have some flaws, it is okay to work on yourself but it’s out of place to put too much effort trying to hide them. Being yourself might drive some people away from you, but those who love will come back to you no matter what.
There is no point in trying to test someone by pushing them away. You may end up losing someone who genuinely cares about you. You just have to be yourself, and the right person who loves you, your personality and who you have become, would stick with you through thick or thin.
