Are you too loyal in your relationship? That is certainly one question you may be asking yourself. You love your partner and you are happy in your relationship but sometimes, you begin to think, “what if I am just being a fool?”. Being loyal out of reasonable proportion is what we refer to as “loyal to a fault”, and you will find out if you are too loyal in your relationship or not.
There are a few checkboxes you will need to tick before you can be certified loyal to a fault, otherwise, you may just be overthinking it probably because someone mentioned it. Being genuinely loyal in your relationship is something your partner would definitely love about you, so this is not to try to make you stop being loyal to your partner.
What does it mean to be loyal to a fault in your relationship?
Being loyal to a fault means your loyalty to your relationship partner is abnormal, unreciprocated or your partner obviously does not deserve it. Whenever the phrase, “…to a fault” is used, that is what it generally means. It typically describes a good quality that is displayed more than necessary or required, or to the extent that it can potentially be or actually become a problem.
If you are questioning whether you are “too loyal” or not, this article will help you find out.
Signs of Loyalty and When You Are Loyal To a Fault
Loyalty comes as a package of many other things – honesty, support, and trustworthiness, amongst others. If someone is questioning your loyalty to your partner in your relationship, or if your partner is showing signs that they do not trust your loyalty anymore, these signs here will help you validate your loyalty by yourself.
You are supportive
One clear sign that you are loyal to your partner is how much support you show them. Loyalty means you are willing to support your partner through anything they are doing, and if you find that your conviction about the relationship is gradually dropping, know that your loyalty is dropping as well.
You are trustworthy
Look inwards now, do you find that you have done enough for your partner to trust you a hundred per cent? When you are loyal to your partner, you become trustworthy before them in a short while. Even if you are not trustworthy to other people, you become trustworthy to your partner if you are loyal to them.
You are honest
Honest is an essential ingredient of loyalty. When you are loyal to your partner, you thrive better in the spirit of openness and honesty. In other words, you cannot lie or cover up the necessary information even for the shortest possible time without feeling guilty. That is loyalty and it comes when you truly love someone, and you know that they love you too. Being loyal to a fault comes when you are showing signs of being loyal but for the reasons above, it’s just not worth it.
You believe in the relationship
The very first reason why you are loyal to your partner is that you believe in the relationship. Otherwise, you would not have been committed to being loyal to your partner. However, it is important to know that things can change in any relationship and if you think your partner has significantly changed towards you and you have done your possible best to spark up the fire to no avail, it might be the best time to quit. You are loyal to a fault if you still find yourself believing in what no longer exist or can never exist.
You are generous
If you are loyal, you also become generous. Loyalty literarily means you have submitted yourself and all you have to the will of your partner. In which case, you cannot find yourself being stingy to them, and if you find that you are not able to give freely to your partner, you might be losing your loyalty or your heart might be someone where else. Don’t ignore it.
You always defend them instead of complaining about them
In every relationship, problems can arise. But when you are loyal to your partner, you do anything possible not to wash their dirty linen in public and even if someone tries to run them down, you find yourself unconsciously defending your partner as though they were right there. If you catch yourself complaining too much about your partner, your loyalty might be becoming questionable.
You can’t imagine yourself cheating on your partner
Have you ever fantasized about cheating on your partner? I’m sorry but it looks like things have not been going the way you wanted. It is easy to start giving up on your partner if they are not putting in the same efforts as you. As a matter of fact, you become loyal to a fault if you see all the alarming signs are you are still being loyal. This raises another question we will see later, whether being loyal to a fault is a sign of love.
You already envisage a future with your partner
It is hard to say whether some of these signs of loyalty come before or after one has become loyal to their partner, but if you see yourself with your partner in the future, it could explain why you are loyal to them. The cycle is that if you are loyal, you get committed to them and to be with them in the future; and if you already see yourself with them in the future, it means you are loyal.
Simply put, being loyal to a fault means you have the above attributes in an unhealthy way. But what makes it unhealthy? There are three common things that can make your loyalty become “loyalty to a fault”:
- You feel exhausted in the relationship.
- They don’t care if you get hurt.
- They don’t forgive your mistakes.
If your partner is showing signs that they are not committed to the relationship as much as you do, that is an obvious sign that you are loyal to a fault. That means your loyalty will be unhealthy for you in the long run.
If love is blind, is loyalty to a fault a sign of true love?
Why should you stick to your partner who loves you but is still struggling to make it, whereas rich folks are out there chasing after you with their money? Isn’t this foolish? Or why stay committed to your fat woman when many other “sleek” babes are after your life out there? Some of these questions sometimes make us say that love is blind.
Being loyal is a sign of love. Being loyal to a fault can sometimes seem like a sign of love but you should know that the only difference here is that, the moment “fault” was added to the loyalty, it became abnormal. For example, when you are truly in love, people can say that you are “too loyal” but when the word “fault” has been added to your loyalty, that is no more true love. It might not end up well for you if you don’t do anything now.
What Can You Do If You Discovered That You Are Loyal To A Fault?
Loyalty to a fault does not mean the end of any relationship. It only means that your partner is not doing much to deserve your loyalty or they are showing signs that the relationship will put you through great pain and hurt shortly. If you discover that you are loyal to a fault, here are some things you can do.
The best answers to most relationship questions come from self-reflection. At this point, sit yourself down and think about how things got this way. Think about how your partner was and how they are now, and what you may have done to make them become this way. It could be that you over-pushed it and they felt the need to withdraw. The thing is, you need to keep your relationship affairs balance, that is, you giving 100 per cent and also receiving a hundred percent. Try not to overpush the boundaries each time.
Discuss with your partner their feelings towards the relationship
Maybe it’s a new relationship and your partner is no longer interested. When the loyalty of your partner is wavering, it is time to find out from them why they are behaving like so. find out what the problems are and stay committed to helping them through. But if your partner has given up or shows signs that it has become infinitely impossible to get along with you, you should have a mutual decision to call it quits when you both feel that’s the best thing to do.
Strategically test the waters
Sometimes to keep your relationship feelings and love balanced, you will need to find ways to test your partner’s level of commitment to the relationship. One of the best ways to do that is by strategically withdrawing yourself or affection and observing how your partner would react. If you stop showing loyalty to your partner and he/she starts questions himself what he/she could have done wrong, and start making efforts to right the wrongs, just know that things are going to work well in your relationship. But if they withdraw even more afterwards, please begin to find a way out of the relationship. This is already beyond being loyal to a fault.
Talk with a relationship coach
Every relationship is peculiar to itself. Sometimes what applies to someone else may not apply to you. Seeing a relationship coach will be the best way to get personalised advice tailored to your peculiar situation. Alternatively, you can talk with someone you trust to lead you in the right direction without bias. Just be sure you can trust the advice they will give to you.
Finally, being loyal to a fault can be disastrous particularly if you don’t even know that you are. It’s okay to be loyal but never allow “a fault” to be added to your loyalty.