How To Get A Girlfriend
Hey guy, it’s a new year and you are still bloody single. Do you have any plans to change that soon? Every phase of life comes with its own peculiar demands. On reaching adolescence and puberty, the behaviour of young boys and girls begin to change to suit the obsessive nature of that stage. There is now the emerging sense of self-importance.
The sudden burst of sexual hormones in adolescents makes them experience love in a completely different manner from adults. This is because they are quite very new to their feelings about sex and love.
Everyone knows that these feelings are real and for some reasons, you’d want to satisfy them. One of such ways people satisfy their feelings of love or their emotions is to get a partner, a girlfriend or a girlfriend.
If you have ever been in a relationship, you’d be able to tell how wonderful the feeling is, that you have someone you call your own. At this point, let’s briefly see why people desire a partner/girlfriend/boyfriend first.
Why You Probably Need To Get A Girlfriend/Boyfriend
Here are some reasons why you think you need to get a girlfriend at this time;
- To satisfy their emotions: I already talked about the idea of satisfying emotions. Everyone have the inner desire to belong to someone else. You just want to be someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend. It feels sweet and interesting to have someone you can love uncontrollably. Doesn’t it?
- To not be left out: Peer pressure doesn’t end at adolescence. Peer pressure actually begins way early in childhood and gets really potent in adolescence/teenage years. However, peer pressure continues throughout life. Therefore, it may be possible that you want to get a girlfriend or boyfriend because you just want to belong. Not bad either, is it?
- For companionship: Hey! Loneliness and boredom are evil bastards, you’d say. Everyone wants to have a close companion with whom you share yourself and inner feelings. As time passes, you realize that the family bond is beginning to give way. You realize that the bonds of normal, usual friendship also begins to matter less and less. You just want a more romantic bond, a companion you call fully call your own. Quite interesting, isn’t it?
- To get some help: Welcome to the world where everybody has a reason for doing what they do. It’s a logical world, that’s the right term for it. But some people will seek to come into your life, or you’d want to get a person to yourself because you want some help from them. Think about high school, the girls just love to be with the nerd because he is going to help them through their homework. You still remember that? That may just be the case for you. You’ve got some ‘other’ reasons to get a girlfriend and you think you absolutely need to do that.
- For committed sex and/or sexual behaviour: There is no restriction to the number and type of people you can have sex with or do some other sexual activities with. However, for a few other health and personal reasons, one may choose to engage in sexual activities with just one sexual partner. Maybe, you are such a person who would like to display sexual behaviours with just one person, at least, while you are together. This may be the reason why you want to get a girlfriend/boyfriend.
- For courtship and marriage: Tired of being single and you are well advanced in age and maturity, this must be the reason why you want to get a girlfriend or boyfriend, as the case may be. Marriage is a normal part of life, one that gives great meaning to our lives within a short time. But in most cases, it doesn’t just come so naturally and quickly. It may require some time, periods during which the would-be partners spend some time together as ‘better friends’ if you know what I mean, and then, a transition from being boyfriends and girlfriends in a relationship – fiance(é), to marriage as husband and wife. More than 80% of people who want to get into a relationship, or want to get a girlfriend or boyfriend, a desire so because of this interesting reason – to get married.
Now that we have seen some common reasons why people desire to get a girlfriend or spouse, let’s seek to answer a very important question here. Does age really matter in deciding to get a girlfriend or spouse? As a matter of fact, when is the right time to get a girlfriend or boyfriend.
Hey, calm down, let’s talk about this in the next section.
When Should I Get A Girlfriend
A good time to find a girlfriend is when you are emotionally ready for a relationship. But that’s if everyone has the common reason for marriage. What if there are other reasons that the person want to satisfy too? In this section, we will see through the past, the present and future of individuals who are I interested in a relationship, including yourself.
If you were a parent, would you stop your 16-year old child who now has strong interests in a relationship? If you are really thinking about them and their love life in the future, you will really think twice about deterring them so hard. But you still want to protect them as much as you can from irreversible damage to themselves and their emotional life. These damages may come from premature, premarital and unprotected sexual activities, heartbreaks, etc.
Sure, it would be considered inappropriate to allow that boy at 12 or 13 get a girlfriend. However, some sources and climes have accepted the ages of 16-18 as a good cutoff to allow boys and girls to explore their sexual life a little.
Teenage romances described popularly as “calf love”, “puppy love” or “crush” may seem like a phantom to you but it is real to them. So, it should not be trivialized or made fun of.
Read here for Proof That We Fall in Love With Three People.
Now that you have a sense of personal being and self control, how do you know when to get a girlfriend or if you truly need a girlfriend?
Talking of need, there are many benefits of being in a relationship. Relationships prepare you and build you up emotionally. In other words, emotional maturity comes from your experiences of relationship, such that, the only reason why your parent(s) would allow you to have an early date at age 16 in your sheer innocence and stupidity is that they do not want you to throw away the value of the emotions you feel and the love you experience. Also, they want you to learn emotional maturity from those relationships.
I have really talked so much on this already, but I won’t give you some tips on how to know you are ready for relationship. That would be for another day. But now, let’s head down to why we came here in the first place.
Tips On How To Get A Girlfriend
I will put these under 3 sub-headings as follows;
- Prepare yourself
- Observe carefully
- Swing into action
Prepare Yourself
To get a girlfriend, you need to be prepared yourself. This is important because potential girls also look out for some attributes in you before they agree to be your girlfriend. Here are some things you need to do to get yourself ready;
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Discover why you need a girlfriend
The first thing you need to do here is to discover why you need a girlfriend. If you are not purposeful, you may not see the paths that lie ahead. What this means is that, you need to understand and define the purpose you want to achieve by getting a girlfriend.
Sometimes you would realize that your reasons are probably not good enough yet. In these instances, you would have to find a better reason before you proceed. -
Discover Yourself
Before a girl would let you know them more in a relationship, she would first check if you even know yourself. Discovering yourself has to do with knowing your passions, ambitions and dreams and working in the light of them. She need to know that your life have a purpose with or without her. As a matter of fact, if you use all your efforts to chase after them, so much that you forget about yourself, it drives them away from you.You should consciously work to improve yourself, have a clear purpose for your life. When a girl sees that you have a purpose, which, of course, they have ways of noticing, it will be easier for you to get her. Having money and assets is important and luring, but they are not absolute requirements for getting a girlfriend. You just need to demonstrate that you know where you are going to in the future. -
Build Your Confidence
Every girl likes a guy that is confident. A shy, fearful and naive guy is automatically detested by the ladies. They can sometimes show their hatred openly in a way to tell the naive guy that he needs to step up. If you are ever going to handle your relationship with your girlfriend well enough, you will sure need some amount of confidence. But that’s even far down the line. What about having to express your feelings for a girl you are interested in? You don’t want to be stuttering so hard when you are wooing her for the first few times. Do you? Build your confidence then. -
Be Composed And Don’t Show Desperation
Even when you have seen the girl you are genuinely interested in making your girlfriend, do not open,y display desperation. You need to make her want you too. This you can achieve by sometimes holding yourself back a little. If you flow with the obsession of always being with her, talking to her, or being around her, she will think that you do not have any value yourself, that you are trying to use her to get some value for yourself. These things are real and you really have to step up your game.When you are not showing desperation, it raises your worth, your competition level, and your value. That will make it easier for you to get her. -
Learn to be nice and helpful
A girl may not totally believe what you tell them about yourself because she knows any matured guy is capable of making anything they say interesting and seemingly true. However, she will instantly melt for you when she hears good things about you from someone else, probably their trusted friend.You should learn to be nice and helpful to people, irrespective of what you will gain from them. Its easy to be nice to someone you love but being nice to just anyone is proof that you are a nice person.
Observe Carefully
If you do not want to make mistakes that could be avoided, you have to look before you leap. Before you go on to approach the girl you want to make your girlfriend, you need to observe carefully. Look from a distance first, then start getting closer gradually. You don’t just see a lady for the first time in your life and ask her to be your girlfriend. As a matter of fact, does she even know you?
From a distance, you can watch and ask people about her. What a neutral person says about her will be close to being accurate.
Then, you should start making close advances towards her as you continue observing. This observation period is very important because the moment you start getting close, she starts observing you too, to know who you are and what you are up to. This step is also important because you really want to know who your potential girlfriend is, whether you will be happy having her or not.
Swing Into Action
After you may have determined that you are ready to have a girlfriend and you have great long-lasting reasons to get yourself a girlfriend, you need to swing into action right away. But what do I mean by action here? In actual sense, this phase does not differ so much from the other ones I have already talked about, and it is not going to involve some violence, just in case that’s what you thought the action meant. Here are some things you should do to get into action with the potential girlfriend you are interested in:
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Leave your confinement
You don’t get a girlfriend by sitting in the confines of your room. You need to get to the outside to find your girl. If you have a very busy schedule that would not allow you to regularly contact women, you need to clear your schedule a little bit, or create some time out so you can be free to leave your confinement. Your girl won’t come rushing into your house on her own, you’ve got to go find her.Work on your presentation
the way she sees you matters a lot. If you are going to find your way into her heart, you first have to look presentable before her eyes. Presentation involves your dressing, composure, speech, and your general carriage. You need to look and act your best before her. But one important precaution, don’t fake it. Be genuine and real. -
Flirt with her
Ladies generally love guys who express themselves and flirt with them. Flirting in itself, is a playful behavior that creates some sexual or emotional tensions without attaching anything serious to them. Whereas, it is okay to flirt this way with someone you do not intend to go into a relationship with, in the case of someone you really love to have as your girlfriend, you need to flirt even more seriously.At first, you should make it seem unserious, just like with any other woman. Then, you should step it up a little so that you can completely win her over.It is worth noting that most experienced guys have abused this technique to win girls over and sooner than later, dump them where they brought them from. For someone you truly love, you should demonstrate your seriousness and find ways to prove to her that she is different from the rest of the girls you probably already flirted with. -
Be persistent
If anyone told you it’s always going to be easy, they are probably lying. For some partners, their process of coming together was rather easy and smooth and even short, but that doesn’t happen for everybody. Some girls, who may have experienced a lot or might have heard about how terrible some guys can be, would not trust you so easily even though they approve you on the outside. So you have to prove to her that you are really seriously interested in them. This brings me to the next point… -
Know When To back off
Getting a girl as your girlfriend is not a do-or-die affair. When you have done all you know is humanly possible, you should learn to back off. Love and relationship have to be a mutual thing, not one-sided. It takes maturity to understand when a girl do not want you, but if you still find it difficult to know that, then try asking some more experienced for help. This is a topic for another day. -
Raise your bar a little
You said you wanted to get a girlfriend, right? Getting a girlfriend that will stay requires some more ingredients. Girls easily get tired of an over-caring guy. They ask for care and attention, but there seem to be a very thin line between adequate care and over-caring. You should try not to show too much care to her when she is beginning to give her heart to you.In other words, after you’ve started winning her over, raise your bar by backing down your love a little. Sometimes, your girl will give behaviours that signal you that your attention is getting too much. At such times, be wise enough to slow down and stay away for a while.Raising your bar this way makes her think you have other options aside her, and that awakens her to start holding on to you. But if you keep chasing her, she will think you are only interested in getting something from her and disappear from her life. She doesn’t want that to happen to her, trust me.
Summary of the points
- Improve yourself
- Be observant, don’t be hasty
- Be nice and helpful
- Learn to flirt
- Be persistent
- Known when to give up trying
- Increase your self worth
Setting a girlfriend can be difficult to some people, but when you know what you need to know, it only becomes a matter of desire. It’s an interesting experience to be in a relationship with someone you truly love, but before you jump hastily to get yourself a girlfriend, answer the foremost question first. What is your reason for getting a girlfriend? Have a happy life!
