“We are prepared for insults, but compliments leave us baffled.”
Mason Cooley
Compliments are to the soul what nectar is to the insect. Everyone loves compliments because praises are best when they come from someone else. As a man, by calling you spouse or would-be spouse some interesting names makes her go into a state of euphoria. But when would it become offensive to her? That is what you are here to find out, right?
In this post, you are going to find out some untold reasons why a lady would act in certain unexpected ways against your compliments. But just before then, you should also see this post on dating and compatibility.
In any union, both parties are expected to satisfy the emotional needs of the other, that is to say, they should make the other person should feel secure and confident that the union is a long-lasting one and not a use-and-dump scheme. Heartbreaks are really expensive and everybody seeks some form of assurance before they even start getting committed.
This is especially true for people who may have had a heartbreak before. The teachings that family and society give the girl child make it especially more difficult for her to love folks of the “notorious gang of boys”. Every girl has been taught in one way or the other that boys are dangerous and should be avoided as much as possible. These teachings may not be entirely true but they are largely true in most circumstances.
Sweet words or compliments as you would call them are valuable tools for resolutions of many glitches even in a formally established marriage union and one would wonder why a woman would frown at them sometimes.
Compliments usually come when someone does a good thing, and the aim is to show appreciation and to encourage them to do more. But when it applies to your spouse or girlfriend, they may be for several purposes, including reassuring your love for them or even for correctional purposes.
When a guy truly loves a lady, he finds the sweetest words in the world to qualify her. As a matter of fact, one way to make a lady know that you are truly interested in her, and assure her that she is safe with you, is by using words that amorously sweetens her soul.
Those well-garnished names and words altered by a sugar-coated tongue give her a feeling of “high” more than what crack would give.
But as far as ladies are concerned, the only shortcoming of sweet words of compliments and pet names, especially when they are not married to the spouse yet, is the fact that anyone can feign sincerity, anyone could compliment them. And as they still get happy hearing anyone compliment them, they want to ensure that their hearts do not get hooked up unnecessarily so that they do not end up as another “use and dump” specimen.
Recall, that was part of the teachings that girls should not believe what guys say, at least not so easily.
But after a while, ladies begin to realise that they exercising control over their emotions is way better than just avoiding the guys totally. But this is also when they begin to hear the lies they once avoided.
When a guy tells her, he likes her, she would call it a lie by default because to them liking or loving like you would otherwise say is a matter of choice. They have learnt to exert control over their emotions over the years, such that only very few things still make them go wild.
There are only a few reasons why a lady would directly ask you to back off and stop calling them your “deceitful pet names”. But what if you actually mean it?
I have seen a couple of occasions where this has happened and I thought I could do some research on some reasons why that would occur.
How It Makes Them Feel
A lady feels really high when she is continuously appreciated. It makes her happier and more confident in her doings. Just like every human, good compliments is always an extra strength to carry on.
There is an adage that says “Even the lazy man becomes strong when you praise him”. That is to say, compliments and sweet words, names and the likes should be part of normal blooming union or relationship.
When she starts hearing compliments for the first time, she may become speechless and too full of emotions that it may open her up to vulnerability. This vulnerability is often exploited by the “dangerous folks”, as the guys are seen to be.
Blushing and a smiling face that flags love all over are some usual reactions. But not all of them want the vulnerability part, hence, a few would tell you that they are not comfortable with it.
Recently, I asked a lady why she would complain when a guy praises her, or call her sweet names and here are some reasons I got. As you can see, I have already talked about one of the reasons why they would refuse sweet names or words even when they obviously derive some emotional benefits from them. Let’s now see them all…
Why Girls Hate Those Sweet Words
There are various reasons why a lady would not want you to call them those heart-melting pet names. However, only a few would be bold enough to directly confront you to stop. Below are some of the reasons why a lady may not be comfortable when you sweet-talk her;
- Doing It At The Wrong Time
Even the best of things, when done at the wrong time can prove very fatal. Calling her pet names in the midst of a very serious discussion may not always go well with her. It is important that you understand the best time to say them.
- This is only one probable reason but it will also suffice that even in the wrongest moments when rightly done, sweet words can pick them up from gloom and sadness into a realm of happiness.
- She Is Afraid You May Stop After Some Time
- She Does Not Want To Become Vulnerable
- She Really Does Not Love You
- She Thinks You Do Not Mean It
- She Has A Different Love Language
This is one of the commonest reasons why a lady would outrightly ask you to stop calling her names. She does not want to get used to it and begin expecting it because she fears you may not always give it to her. She also thinks you may stop after some time, thus, further buttressing the feeling of emotional insecurity I talked about earlier.
You already know how sweet-talking makes them feel, don’t you? Pleasurable, but vulnerable at the same time. A lady may totally ward-off your compliments and praises because she is afraid that may make her vulnerable.
There is something I have not told you yet. Those sweet words even sound sweeter when they come from the right person. You may not be the right person for them at that time. In other words, they may not be interested in you in the first place. She knows that letting you continue will exert an undue influence on her but she may not be ready to give you a chance into their lives yet.
Like I mentioned earlier, ladies are taught from the onset that all guys are ferocious beast by default. So they grow up to learn to overcome them and their crazy advances. But when they finally decide to let loose for a man, they want to ensure that you are different from the rest of the beasts out there.
A lady may not reciprocate and appreciate your sweet name-calling because she thinks you are only just doing it to get her and nothing else.
This will be fully dealt with in another post. But for now, it is worth knowing that she may better appreciate some other gestures than sweet name-calling.
Now after knowing this, the next question is, do you stop calling her?
If I were to give a straight-forward answer, I would say you should stop because she does not want you to. But a straight forward answer would not always be the best thing to do. You could take time to ask her why she refuses to accept your compliments in a bid to know the exact reason.
If you do not verbally ask her, you could also do your own mental surveys about why she reacts that way.
I’m also hopefully sure that one of those reasons up there could just be it. Thanks for reading through.
