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Home relationships

21 Questions For A New Relationship (No 21 is Super Important)

Every new relationship has its special excitement and energy but here are a few questions to keep it going.

by Prosper Yole
May 27, 2022 - Updated on June 28, 2022
Reading Time: 5 mins read
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Table of contents
  • Why Do You Need To Ask These Questions In Your New Relationship
  • 21 Questions To Ask Your New Boyfriend or Girlfriend
    • 1. What inspires you the most?
    • 2. Are you looking for a commitment?
    • 3. What does friendship mean to you?
    • 4. Why did you cry the last time you did so?
    • 5. Where have you always wanted to travel to?
    • 6. Do you believe in God?
    • 7. What is the most important thing to do on your bucket list before you die?
    • 8. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
    • 9. What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever done?
    • 10. What is your position in your family?
    • 11. How many children would you want to have?
    • 12. What are some of the hobbies you are passionate about?
    • 13. What do you do when you are lonely and bored
    • 14. Which of your siblings is closest to you?
    • 15. Have you ever had an STD?
    • 16. Are there any exes still in the picture?
    • 17. How do you define cheating in a relationship?
    • 18. If you had one day left to live, who would you spend it with?
    • 19. Do you love parties?
    • 20. What is your life are you most grateful for?
    • 21. What are your thoughts about marriage?
  • Final Words
21 questions for a new relationship
21 questions for a new relationship

By definition, a new relationship is one that is just about 3 months old.

Entering into a new relationship can be very exciting. The euphoria of love just hovers everywhere around your belly and you don’t want to spend an inch apart from your new partner.

You’d wish the relationship stays that way forever but things often change pretty soon. It may break, it may get stronger, however, the direction it goes depends a lot on what you know about the relationship, your partner, your compatibility with each other, and how much you are committed to making it work together.

Asking questions early in a relationship gives you the opportunity to know more about your partner so that you can know what can either please them or displease them. This is important for every new relationship and one that is destined to grow well enough.

Earlier, I wrote an article about questions to ask before entering into a serious relationship. Here, you will see 21 questions to ask in a new relationship. Let’s make it fun and interesting.

Why Do You Need To Ask These Questions In Your New Relationship

These 21 questions not only help you to know your partner better and what they expect from the relationship. Some of these questions can spur the growth of your relationship in the right direction. They are fun questions you can explore to keep your conversations going.

Shortly before we talk about these 21 questions to ask your new partner, let’s get some things clear. Answers to some of the questions may be undesirable or may highlight some differences between you and your partner, but that does not mean you should capitalize on these differences to call your new relationship a break.

 

21 Questions To Ask Your New Boyfriend or Girlfriend

1. What inspires you the most?

Inspiration
Inspiration; Pixabay

This is a great way to start the questions. You want to know what inspires your new partner; their passions and motivations.

2. Are you looking for a commitment?

Looking for commitment
Commitment

No time for assumptions; this question hits the nail on the head. You want to know if this means something or if it’s just another situationship.

3. What does friendship mean to you?

Friends
Friends

Friendship is the foundation of any relationship, be it emotional or otherwise. This question helps you find out about the friends they kept for years and how much they value the gift of friendship.

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4. Why did you cry the last time you did so?

Crying man
Man crying

This is a really personal question that will provide insights into their soft spots and how easily irritated your new partner can be. You might want to wait till after the first month before you ask this question and when you do, try not to take it as a joking matter.

5. Where have you always wanted to travel to?

Traveling by car
Traveling by car

Ask where your partner would like to travel to the most. Also, ask them who they would like to carry along; their spouse, their family, or friends?

6. Do you believe in God?

Holy Bible under pink tulips
The Christian Bible

Religion is very important as far as the relationship is concerned. You could ask them this question in varying ways to see where their religious faith lies and how firmly they believe in God.

7. What is the most important thing to do on your bucket list before you die?

Mountain climbing adventure
Mountain climbing, adventure

Many of the 21 questions here are just for fun, right? This question will give you an idea of their sense of adventure and what they love to have their adventure.

8. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

man and woman smiling on focus photography
Woman and old son

Mothers hold a great part of everyone’s life. For a guy, you want to know how he treats or values the women in his life. For a lady, you won’t know how submissive she is to guidance and instructions. The answer will give you insights into these.

9. What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever done?

Embarrassed and frustrated
Embarrassed and frustrated

This is another fun question. You just want to get them to be as open as possible, while you share yours too. I just need to know your shame so well that, you don’t feel it around me anymore.

10. What is your position in your family?

boy and girl standing at beach
Siblings

Whether you like it or not, your partner’s position in the family determines a lot about how they behave. You want to know if they are the first, middle, or last child. Even if for no serious reasons, it won’t be out of place just to know.

11. How many children would you want to have?

girl running while laughing
Children

You might say it’s too early to ask this question in your new relationship, but it wouldn’t cause any harm, would it? Rather, it will make your partner know that you are serious about spending the rest of your life with them.

12. What are some of the hobbies you are passionate about?

Hobbies
What are your hobbies?

If you genuinely ask your new partner about their hobbies and passions, it means you are interested in their growth. If they tell you, they don’t have any passion, you can begin by trying your best to spur them into becoming passionate about, a least, one thing in life.

13. What do you do when you are lonely and bored

No one around
No one around; alone and bored

This is something you should know. If one can tell the level of their productivity – a productive person is more likely to engage in some productive task when they are lonely. You should try not to attach any real significance to them yet.

14. Which of your siblings is closest to you?

Close sibling
Close siblings

The major reason why this question is important is to know who you can relate well to when you have issues with your partner in the future. Your partner is most likely to listen to the sibling they are closest to than the rest, especially if they are many.

15. Have you ever had an STD?

std treatment
Drugs for STD

This is a big bomb right there. Depending on the stage of the relationship you are in, this might be difficult to ask. However, it can establish more openness and trustworthiness between you both. If it might sound too intrusive, consider rephrasing it to “when was the last time you got tested”?

16. Are there any exes still in the picture?

Alone and single
Single girl walking alone

This is a new relationship between you and your new partner, but it does not mean it is the first relationship for either of you. You need to ask this question to know where you belong. If there are any exes, you might want to take time to find out how your partner’s relationship experiences have been so far.

17. How do you define cheating in a relationship?

man standing by the window beside bed
Cheating man

Talk about this and lay down some ground rules for both parties to avoid any misunderstanding.

18. If you had one day left to live, who would you spend it with?

man and woman sitting on dock
Soulmates

Of course, we know what you expect to hear. But it feels great to hear it once more.

19. Do you love parties?

people holding pouches with colored powders
Party image of people holding pouches with colored powders

Partying is perhaps the one thing most young people do. Ask them about partying while keeping an open mind – a yes or no is equally acceptable.

20. What is your life are you most grateful for?

man in pink dress shirt standing on gray concrete pavement near body of water during daytime
Grateful man in a pink shirt

Another way to feel some more butterflies in your belly. You can begin imagining how your partner would respond that meeting you is the one thing they are most grateful for. But remain calm and cool if you don’t hear them say that.

21. What are your thoughts about marriage?

bride and groom surrounded by plants
Beautiful newly-wed couple

This question already reveals to your new partner that you are already planning marriage with them and it can help you understand what they understand about marriage, if they are ready to marry or if they are mature enough to handle marriage and its outcome should it happen fast enough for both of you.

Final Words

Giving you a list of 21 questions for your new relationship does not mean you must compulsorily ask all the 21 questions. It does not also mean that these are the only questions you can ask your new partner.

The primary aim of these questions is to find starting points from which to begin your conversations.

I hope these 21 questions help you get to know your partner better. Keep in mind that this is not supposed to be a question and answer session or an interview. Just try to keep the conversations natural. Plus, you don’t need to rush them all in one day.

Tags: relationships
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Prosper Yole

Prosper Yole

I am a seasoned writer, not because I am some genius but thanks to many years of trials, failure, and near successes. I curate the most content on this website; all geared towards making you a better and happier audience.

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