Cheating in a relationship will always hurt no matter the reasons behind it. As a lady, you feel betrayed and deeply pained when you find out that your man is having an affair with another woman. You feel worthless, and it’s as if your heart has been shattered into pieces. But what if I tell you it’s possible to spot a man who would have an affair/cheat even before they transgress?
Based on some characteristics, it has been psychologically established that there are three types of men who are more likely to cheat on you. Here, you will see how to identify such a man even before you get into a relationship with him. Even if you do get on with him, at least you will be able to deal better with it.
Before we see the three types of men who are likely to cheat in their relationship, let me quickly show you some statistics about cheating and infidelity, especially among men.
Infidelity Statistics For Men
Nobody wants to be cheated on but statistics have shown that infidelity is very common. It can be somewhat difficult to get the exact statistical figures related to cheating and infidelity but it has been estimated that 70 percent of married Americans will cheat at least once in their marriage.
According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, statistics from various national surveys indicate that 25% of married men and 15% of married women have engaged in extramarital affairs.
Another study found that 75 percent of men admit to cheating in some way, at some point in their relationship with their partner.
Both men and women cheat in their relationship, and while the age-long question of who cheats more in a relationship or marriage lingers, statistics have shown a significant disparity.
According to the General Social Survey, 20 percent of men cheat in a relationship compared to 13 percent of women. A similar study based on 9 years of data, showed that 21% of men have reported having an affair at least once in their lifetime; and the same 13% of women have so cheated in long-term, monogamous relationships. The research indicates that the gender gap has remained mostly static over the past 9 years.
Also, according to the LA Intelligence Detective Agency, 74 percent of men and 68 percent of women admit they’d cheat in their relationship if it was guaranteed they’d never get caught.
Men and women have different motives and reasons why they have affairs outside marriage. For women, it is more likely for emotional reasons, if they feel hurt or unsatisfied in their relationship. For men, it is often a strong physical/sexual attraction that tempts them.
Types of Men Who Have Affairs – Signs To Spot
Cheating in a relationship always leaves a hard blow on your partner but as brutal as it may be, it is more common than most of us would like to believe. Thankfully, the statistics put it more clearly.
While the reasons are non-specific, they have sometimes been tied down to personality types, psychological makeup, early life experiences, and others. However, a closer look at some of these factors establishes that there are certain traits common to men who cheat. With that, we have been able to deduce three types of men that are more likely to cheat.
For example, men who struggle with insecure attachment styles, intimacy issues, fear of commitment, and certain personality disorders like narcissism are more likely to stray in their long-term relationships or marriages. But unless you are an expert in human psychology, spotting these signs and correlating them to the likelihood of cheating can be difficult. To make it easier for you, we will see the attributes of the three types of men likely to have an affair.
1. The prince charming
The prince charming is one type of man that has a higher likelihood of having affairs. He has an inherent playboy personality, a handsome look but also a high tendency to flirt with women. This guy can easily attract women through his attitude and personality, and unlike every other handsome guy, the prince charming uses it to his advantage.
Prince charming is smart, funny, a smooth talker and interesting to be with. These characteristics make being around him easy and enjoyable. The crazy thing is that, despite his relationship status, he uses his disarming persona to win over girls’ hearts, especially because he sees having an affair as a reward for his endearing and disarming personality.
If you have ever seen someone who loves you but still cheats on you, prince charming fits that exact description. He will not allow his affairs with other women to come in the way of his relationship with you. Well, not until you catch him cheating. Anyways, you should blame it on his instincts to prove himself and his capability by cheating.
For prince charming, it’s not about you, it’s about him. He simply has to validate himself that he still got it, and the way he figured out he can achieve that is by how much more women he has affairs with. He is the kind of man that would feel seriously disappointed for no other reason than being turned down by women because he has started ageing and losing his shine.
Prince charming here can be described as a serial cheater and if you are currently dating one, you might have been hearing the rumors about his affairs.
Sometimes, you might not be totally immune from his charms. When you suspect or catch him having affairs, he can sweet-mouth you to believe that you are the only one in his life, but he’d soon go on with his ways.
While he does not mean to hurt you, his multiple affairs can take their toll on you in the long run. Hence, you should better understand the following signs to identify a prince charming that would have an affair even before he transgresses.
- He flirts unashamedly, sometimes in your presence.
- He lacks empathy and oftentimes fails to see how his flirtatious activities can impact you even if you tell him.
- He knows how to use his disarming charms on every woman, including you.
- He can do everything possible to win a girl’s heart, including spending excessively. I hope that was not how he won your heart too.
- His state of mind and feeling of self-worth is directly related to his cheating behaviour. If he is excited or feeling more confident, he could have won a girl’s heart earlier that day.
2. The persistent horny guy
If you have heard of men who are notorious players, this is the type of man you heard of. For some reason, this guy is always feeling sexually excited and horny, especially when he sees a young beautiful woman.
The persistent horny guy can be very determined in getting what he craves, and he can often do anything to win a girl’s heart over, at least, until he has his way with her. He is also a smooth-talker and confident man, with a fun and exciting personality. The horny guy knows these traits work for him in getting what he always wants. So, why not develop them even more?
To the horny guy, sex validates his self-worth and makes him feel good. He also enjoys the attention being with someone else brings as though that makes him a hero.
He considers himself to have a high libido and that it is justifiable for him to cheat to satisfy his sexual desires. He also believes that you alone will not be enough for him to satisfy these urges. He is the type of guy that would blame it on his high sex drive when he is caught having an affair, instead of blaming himself and his lack of self-control.
As strange as the persistent horny guy might sound, an infidelity study has shown that about one-third of men reported high sexual drive as the main reason for having an affair outside their relationship. Finding another hot girl who is attractive is the sole motivation of the horny guy, above all other characteristics.
Here is what one persistent horny man on Reddit, who persistently has affairs has to say.
“I’ve cheated on my girlfriends, and I also think I would cheat on my wife. I know this sounds horrible and all but I don’t know why I’d do it. Perhaps it’s the same reason why I don’t know why I drink. I’d love my girlfriend or (maybe) future wife to death and I am faithfully loyal, but at the same time, I like that excitement of something or someone new. I like new energy. I know, in the eyes of some people this makes me a horrible person. But I am who I am.”
It is often not very hard to recognise a horny cheat, you might just be the one ignoring the signs. You suspected that there was something off about this guy when you first met him but you had hoped he would not manifest the signs of being with you.
A persistent horny cheat has a history of multiple broken hearts right behind him, but for some reason, he is falling in love with you. You might still see signs of his cheating behaviour, even though you are somehow convinced that he loves you.
If you are aware of his multiple cheating behaviour in the past, you need to be extra sure that he is now a changed man before you believe so. While I may not be able to specifically tell you exactly how to know if he has changed or not, statistics have suggested that about 22-55% of men who cheated in the past will do so again. While another online survey showed that over 60% of men were unfaithful more than once.
Here are some signs to watch out for in a persistent horny cheat:
- He is highly skilled at convincing women to have sex with him. He might enhance this ability by building up his muscles (masculinity) or claiming to be extremely wealthy.
- You notice that he is very sex-oriented and demanding in your relationship.
- He is easily overwhelmed by sexual desires and loses his sense of judgment when he sees an opportunity.
3. The guy who never forgets his ex
This guy is a committed boyfriend or husband who shows that he truly loves and cares about you, but he has a major weak point – the sight of his ex. While it may be difficult to totally forget sexual experiences with an ex, this guy literarily plans for a repeat experience.
Several times, you hear him talk about that one ex he once had. And when he says it, you feel the emotions flying all about him. This guy may still leave an object belonging to the ex just to remember her. And when you try to confront her about it, he dismisses it as one little object he received from a dear friend.
If you offend him, or when you are having a fight, he does not find it hard to seek solace outside, especially if he has found a way to restore talking terms with his ex. But you might be hearing the rumours about his affairs, even if you might rightly not accept it.
Maybe if you are bold enough to confront it, you might hear him say that their relationship wasn’t meant to end. He believes that even though he is married, or the woman is married too, there is something they both shared that they cannot get elsewhere even from their current partner.
Things only get worse if the ex that he never forgets decides to move closer to him for any reason. But before all that happens, you can spot these signs early in your relationship and might want to address them appropriately before you proceed further.
Other reasons why men cheat?
Looking at the statistics on infidelity, you saw that over 70% admit to having affairs in a relationship. This means one of two things: Either a majority of men belong to any of the three types of men who would have affairs, discussed above; or there are other things that make men cheat.
While these may not be valid reasons to have affairs (not as though there are any valid reasons) but here are some more reasons why men cheat in their relationship;
Most men go out to cheat because they feel frustrated. He feels like his emotional or sexual needs are not met in the relationship and his partner is not making any efforts to make things work in his favour despite his bitter complains
Another way a man can get frustrated is if he is experiencing a hard time at work and he thinks his partner will not make things feel better when he goes back home. This might just be another opportunity for another woman to sit on his thighs and do something thereafter.
2. Feels less of a man with his partner
It has been shown that 70% of men who cheat experience a lack of attention from their current partner. This was reported to be slightly associated with their cheating behaviour.
Generally, men easily feel disconnected from their partners if they don’t feel needed by them. This is called the hero instincts, every man’s instinct to feel needed and wanted.
3. Substance abuse
Hard drugs and alcohol all have one effect in common – numbing your sense of judgment and decision-making. Many men have reported having cheated under the influence of alcohol or substance. However, substantial evidence exists to prove that alcohol alone is not sufficient to make a man cheat. There could be some underlying issues in the relationship.
4. Revenge cheating
Dr Shane Birkel, a licensed family and marriage therapist, has explained that people can cheat as revenge for being offended, infuriated or cheated on. These people cheat out of anger, jealousy or desire for revenge. Sometimes, even if their partner hasn’t cheated, they could be offended by the wife having a close friendship with another man.
Other times, some men cheat as revenge for a past affair their wives had. This could sometimes involve succumbing to cheating simply because his wife had an affair that produced a child outside wedlock even before he got married to her.
5. He is tired of the relationship or marriage
Let him get a divorce, you’d quickly say, but sometimes, it may not be that easy. He is looking for a way out and perhaps, he has lost romantic interest in his wife. Prior to when things get back on track, he finds comfort elsewhere. Dr Birkel puts it as such, “They’re sort of done with their marriage or relationship, and instead of having that difficult conversation, they’ll just have an affair”.
Here was what a 29-year-old Will explained to Cosmopolitan about why he cheats;
“I usually cheat whenever I feel like the relationship is stalled or fizzled out. Well, not literally with every relationship, but the handful of times I have cheated have been when things weren’t great. I don’t know why, specifically, honestly. Maybe it’s my way of making sure things are over instead of trying to work on something I know won’t work.”
What to do if your partner belongs to one of the 3 types of men likely to cheat
If you think your boyfriend is one of the three types of men likely to cheat described earlier, and you are thinking of calling it quits at the moment, take time to read this section carefully.
Decisions like that are not decisions you take too hastily. Even though the signs of a cheating boyfriend can be rather glaring, concluding without substantial evidence that your man is cheating might be considered an overreaction. Instead, it is important you take your time to clarify that all the signs you are seeing about your boyfriend are actually true before you make any decisions about whether or not to break up with him.
A charming man does not equate to a potential cheat, and neither does every smooth-talker get involved with extra-marital affairs. You should learn not to assume too rashly about handsome, funny and intelligent guys, otherwise, you might end up feeling unnecessarily over-jealous about your man.
How to deal with a cheating partner
It’s always better to nib the shoot at the early stage but sometimes, you find yourself in a relationship with a cheating partner.
When you do find out that your man is having an affair outside, here are some things you may need to try in dealing with a cheating spouse:
- Know what to avoid
- Limit a third-party influence as much as possible.
- See a relationship coach
How a relationship coach can help you
No two relationships are exactly alike. While some of these general tips above may be helpful in your own case, you might want to get a little more specific in your case when your partner is cheating.
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach. A relationship coach will seek to understand your case and help you determine what will be best for you and your relationship with your partner.
You have seen the three types of men more likely to cheat. If you are unmarried, I hope this article helps you significantly. Also, you have seen some signs to look out for a potentially cheating spouse. You should only ensure that you are extremely careful before making judgments, instead of arriving at unverified conclusions about your partner.
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