If you are a guy who has faced several rejections by ladies, you will know that the experience is never a bread-and-butter experience. Rejection can demoralize you completely and make you feel worthless. You begin to question yourself, your abilities, what you have or what you don’t have. But honestly, no matter who you are, we all face rejection by ladies at different times.
While you may be thinking you are probably under a curse, or not endowed enough to have a girlfriend who you can call your own, you need to understand that all of these are perfectly normal experiences, especially when you understand how to handle or manage rejection by girls.
Here in this article, I am going to share with you some powerful tips on how to handle rejection by girls. These will be personalized to each scenario of rejection you may have experienced.
What is rejection?
Generally, rejection is the dismissal of an idea or a proposal in a manner that may hurt the individual whose idea or proposal it was.
In the context of the topic, rejection by a girl is the deliberate refusal by her of any advances by a guy, or any form of communication between the both of them.
Boys or Girls: Who handles rejection better?
When it comes to friendships, relationships and marriage, boys (men) are the ones who initiate things. He is the one that woos the lady, asks her out and does most of the initial acts of getting together.
That also means, face more rejection on a daily basis than girls. Boys gradually learn how to cope with rejections and this translates that boys may be more able to handle rejection than girls.
That aside, rejection is a soul-crushing experience for just about anyone. Hence, you will find out ways to cope with an experience of rejection.
How to Handle Rejection by a Lady
Rejection follows a spectrum, each level with its own degree of pain and hurt. It is important to learn ways to nip rejection in the bud and prevent it from happening, but you will also learn ways to handle rejection from a lady after it has occurred.
There are signs you can use to tell if someone is interested in you or not. Most painful rejections occur when you fail to recognize the signs that she is not interested in you in the first place, or if you simply assume that it may just be some form of pretence.
For example, when you ask her for her phone number, she might hesitate before giving it to you. You could also see the reluctance in her expression when you asked her for her phone number. These are some subtle signs that she is not interested in a relationship or friendship with you, for several reasons. And most of the reasons are not about your incompetence or whatever. She is just not interested, and that’s it.
Take a no for a no
Even if you managed to keep in touch with a girl while in the process of winning her over, a girl who is not interested in you would let you know that she is not. The most important mistake most guys make is that they assume that she is saying “no” just to test them but most of the time, that may be erroneous.
Even if the girl is just saying “no” to test your perseverance and dedication, it is always more honourable to respectfully go away when she tells you “no, I am not interested”, no matter how soft or unconvincing she may have said it.
Accept and absorb the rejection
Accepting and absorbing a rejection is a psychological tool that can help you be on top of your game when you are rejected by a girl.
When a girl rejects a guy, she tries to do it in the mildest possible way – trying to sound both serious and polite at the same time. Well! That’s quite a hard thing for most girls.
In this context, you need to learn to be on the conceding side, even though you might feel the need to attack her or insult her for rejecting you so that she can feel some hurt too. However, this act makes you look childish before her, especially if she is mature enough to handle those reactions. You end up leaving shamefacedly.
Rather than doing that, you should accept the rejection and absorb it. This means you will do your best not to retaliate harshly or rudely following the rejection. If done rightly, you will walk away with a sense of pride in being able to control the situation.
Don’t feel ashamed
Rejection done in the secret hurts anyone, and even worse is when you are rejected in the sight of many people. You might feel ashamed or depressed by the experience but you should never allow yourself to feel so.
The fact is, everyone has experienced rejection at every point in their life. This means no one will actually mock you or scold you for being rejected. Everyone else understands what it is to be rejected, especially by a girl, and trust me, they don’t give a fuck. So, why should you start feeling unnecessarily ashamed over a rejection?
Express your mind if you feel attacked
As mentioned, ladies will do their best to express their intentions in the most polite way possible but not all ladies eventually do it rightly. Even if she has personal reasons for rejecting you, I mean, reasons that may upset you if she told you, she will never mention it to you.
That being said, a lady might reject you because of some hatred she has been mustering for you for some time. For several reasons, you may not have noticed earlier but if she has the opportunity, she might unleash an attack on you while telling you she is not interested.
Just like you would do for anyone who steps on your toes, you should express your mind if you feel she is directly attacking you. However, you should do this less often.
Tell yourself you deserve better
One door shuts, and another opens. Whenever you see a disappointment, it could be a redirection to what is truly meant for you. This is usually the case and you should always remind yourself you deserve better. Every disappointment is a blessing in disguise. With time, you will be grateful for the rejections you currently face.
Go about your normal duty
Are you really going to work yourself up over a rejection? I understand it can get really exhausting when you face several rejections in a short time but you need to understand that none of those experiences should have anything to do with your professional or personal duty.
Try not to dwell too much on the reasons why you were rejected. Anyone girl who rejects you without giving you a chance to know you better is absolutely not interested in you and does not deserve you. So, at most 5 minutes, you should learn to completely erase the experience from your memory without allowing it to affect your daily routine.
Rejection feels more painful when you get really far with the girl. This is why it is important that you identify the signs that a girl is not interested in you early enough and stop pushing for her approval.
Arbitrary reasons why a girl rejects a guy
One of the things you might want to know after a girl has rejected you is “why did she reject you?” While it is important not to get worked up over why she turned you down, here are some arbitrary reasons why a girl would reject you and your advances.
You might call some of these reasons flimsy but that does not make them unreal.
1. She does not find you convincing
Over the years, I have come to realize that ladies have a way of feeling your emotions when you talk to them. A lady would analyze your speech, your body gestures and your aura for any emotional tension. If you are able to create romantic tension, she will find you more convincing that if you present bland speeches.
2. She does not like your personality
Another thing that would determine if a lady will be interested in you or not is your personality. Ladies quickly assess if your personality type will go well with hers’.
Is she a reserved person? She might prefer an expressive man. If she is extroverted, she might prefer a more reserved guy. Different people have different personality preferences and this could be one reason why a girl might reject you without a chance.
3. She is in a committed relationship
This is by far one of the most cogent reasons why a girl might reject your advances or desire for communication. It stands reasonable when she tells you that she is not interested because there is someone else in her life.
Most guys would back out when a girl expresses to them that she is in a serious relationship. And because of the effectiveness of this reason in dispelling any guy who is coming after a girl, many girls would lie that they are in a relationship simply because they want to keep you away.
Whatever the case, you must always respect a girl’s decision not to be affiliated with you for a relationship or friendship.
4. She is not ready for a relationship
Not every girl feels ready to enter a relationship at the time you are ready for a serious commitment. As unbelievable as it may sound, a girl can know your intent in a relationship to a good extent. A girl can perceive if you are ready for a serious commitment or if you are not, and if she thinks she is not ready for a relationship, she might decide to halt the process from the very beginning.
5. She fears the stress involved in most relationships
Relationships require a great deal of effort and attention. This can be a fun and loving activity if both partners are prepared for it but it can be a pain in the ass if you are not.
Girls who have experienced a stressful relationship in the past often fear entering into another one for some time. She might just want to face her own life for some time until she is ready to settle down for a relationship, instead of allowing the stress to wear her down and truncate her personal ambitions.
6. She just had a breakup
It is advisable to take a break after a breakup before jumping into a new relationship. This is the time you can learn from your experiences and allow them to shape your perception and understanding of love, relationships and marriage but many people make the mistake of jumping in too early.
A girl who is aware of this, and who intent to heal fully from a breakup before entering another relationship might reject your advances even when she finds you attractive and interesting to be with.
7. She feels you cannot take care of her needs
Everyone has emotional needs that need to be satisfied. This may probably be your major reason for seeking a relationship but the hard truth is people have other needs too.
Generally, women desire someone who can cater for some of their financial and physical needs. She might reject you if she perceives that you do not have the capability to meet one or more of these important needs.
As I mentioned earlier, one or more of the reasons for rejection by a lady might appear flimsy and weightless but they exist.
In conclusion, rejection is a normal part of relationship life and it is important you learn ways to deal with rejection by a lady as you have seen in this article. Ultimately, you will find a woman who will love you for who you are, and will keep you with every strength that she has.
I am a seasoned writer, not because I am some genius but thanks to many years of trials, failure, and near successes. I curate the most content on this website; all geared towards making you a better and happier audience.