8 Effective Ways to Spice up Your Relationship or Marriage

Spicing up your marriage

If you notice that your relationship/marriage is getting boring lately, then maybe it’s time to spice things up a bit. Sometimes, when you keep doing the same thing over and over again, things can get boring and uninteresting. This can also occur in a relationship of marriage. Therefore, there is a need to occasionally spice things up once in a while, especially when you notice that things are getting slightly off.

There are many ways to spice up your relationship and with a bit of helpful advice and a few extra tips to try, you will soon get back to where you left off – back into each other’s arms full of the joys of spring and the love that kindles your roving hearts. 

Here are 8 effective ways to spice up your relationship or marriage. These methods of spicing up your relationship and marriage have been tried and tested by many people and they have been proven effective. I hope they help spice up yours too.

Some of the things you will learn about here would be ethically recommended for married couples only, except if you are willing to dare beyond what is ethically acceptable. However, it will be at your own risks. But one thing you should have understood from the beginning is that the decision to spice things up and rekindle your fire in a relationship is born out of your commitment to make it work out between you both.

First, you need to understand what flirting actually is. Many people do not realize how useful it can be in a relationship or marriage. Read up this post on flirtation. You can spice up your relationship and marriage by flirting with your partner, which involves using words or gestures that provokes emotions solely for the purpose of creating connections. Flirting in its right sense is supposed to be innocuous, but many of the cases often end beyond the expected limits. 

In a marriage or a hopeful relationship, flirtation could be adopted to re-establish your connections with your partner.

According to a research report by the Social Issues Research Centre(SIRC), two types of flirting were identified. Flirting for fun, which is the sense conveyed by the dictionary definition of the word, and flirting with intent, which is considered a part of the mate-selection and courtship process, that is, with the intent of getting someone into bed or into a relationship.

These two aspects can be easier explained by the following statement. You can flirt to just have a laugh and get some casual intimacy, or you can flirt to actually, get someone turned in for relationship or sex.

To understand how flirting can be applied in relationship or marriage, there is a need for you to understand the above concepts about flirting. In marriage, you would need to apply the flirting with intent because at that the point, you are at freedom to go on from there, but for a relationship, the extent to which you would flirt would depend on your own set standards for a relationship.

If you are the woman in the union, you would have to understand what guys love and find ways to do it for your man. Same applies to the man, find what stimulates your woman and do it in subtle ways. for instance, a friend of mind emphasized that women are moved by what they hear and men are moved by what they see. 

In that regards, you could try smiling flirtatiously to your man across the room at him and suggestively say with your fixed eyes “I want you”. This could simply send a wired signal down his spine that he needs to get back to how it used to be. Someone puts it that the fact that you are comfortable enough to put a smile across to him in a seductive manner means you are happy being with him. When he realizes that you are happy, his interests rekindles. This is in line with another concept called “Hero Instincts“.

First your must recognize what it means to be stuck in a rut. This means being too fixed on a particular activity of job or method such that it becomes boring already. One common thing you will hear in most relationships is that boredom that weighs heavier than the world itself. And this can only be attributed to being stuck in a rut, doing the same things the same way all the time. 

To spice up your relationship and wax stronger in your love with your partner, you will need to try different things, or do old things in different ways. That means when you notice some signs of coldness in your relationship, you would need to think into your life together and find out things that need to be replaced or modified.

According to the Normal Bar survey, it has been shown that 71 per cent of men who cheat in marriage do so because they are bored, and the same is true for 49 per cent of women. 

Another report in 2003 by researchers in the US and Europe surveyed 1,761 people who had been married for more than 15 years and showed that the high of marriage wears off relatively around two years after marriage.

Kim, a 35-year-old lady has told hernorm.com that she was able to break out of a rut with her husband by taking out a surprise on him, booking a surprise meal wasn’t a bad idea at all, and she was joyed with the sparks that flew off between them once again. The element of surprise is usually created when a routine has lasted for so long that any new thing would be considered surprising.

You need to change routines or modify them or simply do them in different ways. For example, do you always have the same meals on certain days of the week, or do you always go for a drink in the same pub that you’ve been going to for years? If you answered yes to the above questions, then you need to work on those routines. 

Anything you repeatedly do over a long period of time forces out a routine that you will find hard to break out. When you take the plunge to tell him about your plans of changing a routine because you want to spice things up in your relationship, he will be pleasantly surprised and motivated at the same time, that you are ready to think things through and get things running better again. This feeling is spice on its own, in addition to the refreshing feeling of doing things differently.

This is almost like the point above that has to do with breaking out of a rut. You should consider going out on a date with your partner to spice things up a little more. The routine of being always stuck in the same place, eat the same food and drinks could really get boring and very detecting. Dates are not every time events, so in order to spice things up a little, you should consider going on a date once more. The thing about dates is, they look new each time you go on one. In addition, dates often come with a choice to wear something more enticing and appealing. 

Julie, a very jovial young lady told hernom.com about how she adopts dating as a means to spice up her relationships. She would choose a great venue, wear her sexiest clothes and gets her hair done. After carefully applying her make-ups, she would finish it up by wearing her most fragrant perfumed sprays. The good thing about these activities is that when a man sees the extra efforts his woman puts just to rekindle their sparks, he becomes motivated and the sparks spontaneously begin to light up. He is better committed to making the relationship/marriage work better and sweeter.

I have talked about surprises in many forms above but I will talk about it once more here. But in this case, I will focus on how a man can apply surprise to his woman to kindle their love for each other. Women generally seem to love the element of surprise more than men, but the fact is everyone loves surprises.

Do you know eliciting a single spark of joy, happiness or smile could be the turning point for all your marital downturns? You should ignite your partner’s love by throwing them a surprise offer. Neuroscientists have revealed that pleasure centres of the brain react more strongly when their pleasures are unexpected. When you make a gift, offer or a thing as unexpected as possible, you succeed in creating a single ray of smile that will, in turn, beam out as overflowing love. 

Surprises could be in the form of a gift you know he/she has always talked about. He/she may have always been talking about how to get a gift or treat themself in a certain way. Picking up those clues will help you furnish a well-capturing surprise that he/she will find irresistible.

Many of the time, even if the surprise is not exactly what you desired, your partner will still appreciate your efforts to do something for him/her, further reassuring him/her that you love them.

​This is especially important when you are the woman of the home/union. Men are fascinated by altering physical features. By looking different every time, men are compensated emotionally that you will be all they would need to deal with the tempting other women out there. It is as though they imagine that you are three, or four, or five in one person. Such that they are forced to believe that you are worth more than many other women out there. By dressing differently, making up differently, or make an effort to look better, you re-echo your commitment to them into his ears, and he definitely comes back to you. 

It has been found that men love a woman who is committed to loving him. When men see a woman efforts to keep him, he goes even longer lengths to reassure her that he is worth all her efforts. That’s men for you. For example, by making obvious efforts to lose weight is enough to signal to reveal that your partner is willing to make you happier always. A man that sees this would automatically love you more and lights a fire on their love for you. 

Here is a post on why women let go of themselves after marriage. Every sound man knows how easy it is to neglect yourself when you have children and wife to look after. Everyone can testify to how easy it is to decide not to wear make-up on, or how easy it is to throw on a pair of jogging pants, instead of smart pants. 

As a man or woman in the relationship, you must consider making efforts with your appearance, that goes a long way to spice up your relationship. Make your man appreciate you more by wearing some exceptional dresses. You will reap the rewards of your efforts when you see that his eyes are full of love for you. Good men appreciate when a woman makes efforts to make them happy.

​One important way of spicing your relationship is to engage your spouse in a discussion. Many unions and marriages are growing cold because the partners have started waning in their obligation to keep their ears occupied with something worth it. 

Someone asked me a very reasonable question some time ago, that what else do married people do within the home apart from sex? I guess the answer is right here, they talk and talk and talk. But what exactly do they talk about?

Discussions help to draw partners closer and if your union is losing its fire, it may probably be that you have started losing your talking culture. As a partner, try to spark out some discussions and watch how everything unfolds gloriously.

Many people easily become lost for what to say or discuss. You can simply talk about how your day went and ask about his or hers. The beautiful thing about a conversation is that if you are really focused on it, one thing leads to another until you forget where you started off from.

As a man, this offers another opportunity for you to listen to your wife or female partner and offer advice when there are problems. 

Remember, you want to spice up your relationship of marriage. That means there are already some problems that you do not know about yet. When you engage in the discussion, try to find out what the issues are and thereafter, solutions will come. 

If you want to spice up your relationship in the bedroom, these discussions will enable you to find out better ways to please your partner in bed at the same time tell him/her about what pleases you most. Remember, one thing you must try to abolish in your relationship or marriage is “routines”, even the best things would get unpleasant when repeatedly done without any combination or change whatsoever. 

There are many new things you could try that would definitely be interesting and more fun. It shouldn’t be too hard for you to spot out such things, is it? With the joy and excitement that comes when you do something new and more interesting, you find that you feel loose enough to let out your smiles and laughter that you have been holding back all the while. And these smiles further strengthen the bond of love and unity between you and your union.

You could just plan a trip together and spend a day or a few more days outside your home. A source stated that planning a trip could bring back the memories of how you first met each other and rekindle your love for each other.

Try new hobbies, watch movies and read books together. When it comes to movies, so many things are at stake. Your partner may not be interested in a particular genre of movies or TV channels, but sometimes, it is good to let go of your resentments and be with the one person you love most in the whole wide world. You really hate cooking? For the sake of your partner, try cooking together and if your partner insists that you don’t, push a little harder to let you do it together. Try making a bucket list of what you intend to achieve together, your dreams and ambitions. You will feel a strong spark when you hear the first thing on your partner’s list, that he/she want to love you more and be with you forever. 

As a man, create time from your busy home schedule to be with your woman. You do not always have to be buried in your works every time. 

When you venture into new hobbies that your partner is interested in, you can mistakenly unleash some of your hidden potentials. 

There is no hard and fast rule to determine what would be considered fun but anything that reminds you of your beginnings and brings back the memories of the strongest period of your love life should always be revisited from time to time.

There is no underestimation of what sex can do in a marriage. It forms a very important activity in the union. Some individuals have also recommended it in a pre-marital relationship but I would also lend a voice to many other voices out there that discourage it. Even though, we sometimes unavoidable or mistakenly get caught doing it outside or before marriage, it must not be allowed to become the bedrock of a growing premarital relationship. This is because a marriage goes beyond just having sex and other related activities.

The moment I learnt that the bedroom is not all about the actual sex, I realized there is a lot every couple need to learn. A young newly-married woman was complaining about her social media one time, that some men do not understand how to engage a woman for sex. She was emphasizing on foreplay before sex, but many men make sex centred on themselves without considering how it pleases their partner the most too.

You can spice up your relationship by trying something new in the bedroom. You would be surprised about how happier you both will feel afterwards when you try new moves or activity sometimes even aside from the actual sex.

There are many other things that can be adopted to spice up your relationship. I did not list them all here because I thought that some of them should be part of your normal daily life and not occasional activities.