When it comes to finding a suitable partner, it’s not just about the looks. Physical appearance and attraction are important in finding the love of your life but as you come to know, there are more things to look out for.
Red flags in a relationship are those things that can and should make you reconsider your decision to go on in a relationship with someone. They are important to watch out for because they can be early signs of even bigger problems in the future of the relationship or marriage.
Failure to identify red flags in relationships has caused many people great pain, unhappiness in marriage, and eventual divorce or separation. Hence, it is important to nip these problems in the bud by identifying red flag signs in any relationship you are getting into.
This article will show you some red flag signs in a relationship that you must pay attention to. Read on!
Common Mistakes People Make When It Comes to Identifying Red Flags
Noticing red flags in your partner and taking decisions based on them can be very trickish and difficult. Here are some common mistakes people make when it comes to identifying red flags and taking decisions based on them.
- Not paying attention to red flags: Many people get carried away by emotions and attraction such that they don’t pay attention to red flags in their partner.
- Excusing red flags away: Many people identify red flags in their partners but they make an excuse for them only to later face the problems in their marriage and regret why they didn’t take the red flags seriously.
- Believing that they can change their partner: Change is constant but to think that you can change everything about someone is erroneous. When you are in a relationship or marriage with someone, you influence each other and significantly change how they act, think, or behave, but this should not be a justification for accepting red flags because you can’t change everything about someone.
Red Flags in Your Relationship Partner You Should Not Ignore
The basic reason why you should not ignore these red flags is that they are fundamental to who your partner is. Certain red flags can easily change but these might be more difficult to change in the long run, except the person personally decides to get help by themselves.
1. Dishonesty
One of the most appalling red flags you should always watch out for is dishonesty. Every successful relationship is built on the foundation of trust and honesty. Dishonesty does the opposite of a relationship: break it down. It is important to identify this red flag and take the necessary action while it is still early.
Dishonesty is a major problem because dishonest people often hide their tracks. They prefer to keep certain important aspects of their lives to themselves because they know that telling you about them will give you insights into what they are capable of doing. If you become okay with their dishonesty, they would go on to commit worse things you can never imagine, until you eventually find out.
2. Unwillingness to learn
If you ever find someone who is unwilling to learn, or who thinks they don’t need anyone in their personal or professional development, you might want to stay clear by more than a mile. I-know-it-alls are probably some of the most ignorant people in the world. Not because they are ignorant–they know quite a handful of stuff–but because they will never know beyond what they already know because they refuse to learn.
It is quite easy to know someone who is not willing to learn. They act in a way that tells you that they don’t need your help, advice, or contributions in their life. This is a red flag you should look out for because it can create serious disagreements in the relationship eventually.
3. Not submissive
Submissiveness is the act of considering someone to be of a higher status than you are. Submissiveness is a virtue that is needed for the success of every relationship because it helps in resolving some of the most difficult challenges and disagreements in the relationship.
In most relationships, submissiveness is emphasized for the woman in the relationship. The wife is always expected to be submissive to the husband because it is believed that that should be the chain of order for the maintenance of peace in the home. However, the man should also demonstrate submissiveness to the woman particularly concerning affairs of common interests in the home and family.
Non-submissiveness is an important red flag you should not ignore in your relationship. It results in disobedience, defiance, or stubbornness, even when the proposed decision is the best for the common good of the relationship and the home.
4. No future ambitions
When you see someone with no future ambitions coming this way, go the other way. People with no future ambitions are not hard to spot. They do not have a concrete plan for their life, and even worse, they don’t seek to find their purpose in life. These people are often very dependent and parasitic, such that it may affect the health of the relationship in the future.
Everyone, whether males or females, should have a plan for their lives and future, but in the typical world where men are the primary benefactors of the home, it will be a worse red flag if you find a man with no plans for the future. It is as bad as jumping into the fire intentionally if you go ahead to be with such a person.
It’s easy to spot people with no future ambitions. Ask them where they see themselves in the next few years, they won’t be able to show you what they are currently doing or what they plan to do in the future. People with no future ambitions often leave their life to fate, hoping that the universe will rain manna for them.
5. The excuse creator
There is always an excuse for everything if you’d ask me. Everyone can come up with something sensible enough to be seen as a valid excuse but successful people don’t specialize in crafting appealing excuses for their actions or inactions. They act responsibly and own up for their actions.
You might not see the gravity of living with someone who gives excuses for all their failures, actions, or inactions but here is an example of how that can play in your future union. Instead of taking action for a business suggestion that will uplift the whole family, a man or woman who specializes in making excuses would create some reasons not to start as fast as possible.
If you truly wanted to make progress all your life, you must watch out for this red flag in your partner. Most times, this is not something you can easily change in another person. So, it will be better to call it quits while it’s still early.
6. The selfish
Selfishness is a deliberate act of withholding your property or belonging from other people because you find it hard to watch others use it or own it. Selfish people prefer to keep something even when they have no use for it. They find it hard to give one of their property, even when the other person’s life might depend on it at that time. You don’t want to be with someone who is extremely selfish, and you don’t want to be selfish yourself.
Many people confuse selfishness with other things. Being diligent with your spending is not the same thing as being selfish. Business people who strategize their investment money may be seen by other people as being selfish but that is not what selfishness entails. As a matter of fact, asides from selfishness, spending unwisely is another red flag you can watch out for.
7. The unrepentant cheat
It’s hard to stop being promiscuous when you have lived all your life being so. No matter how careless one has been, there is a point when they reconsider settling down in their life. However, if cheating and promiscuity have become such an unbreakable habit, that is not the kind of person you want to be married to.
Cheating is common in most marriages and relationships but if you are able to spot that your partner is unrepentant in his/her sexual dealings with other people, it would be wise to nip the relationship in the bud before it blooms into something bigger.
Discovering that your partner is an unrepentant cheat is a red flag you should never ignore to avoid creating bigger problems in the future.
8. The never understanding person
Understanding is an important virtue for every successful relationship or marriage. Understanding is one’s ability to see things from another person’s point of view, and a lack of understanding is a serious red flag you must watch out for.
Naturally, there are people you don’t easily get along with. You find it hard to understand such people when they talk or communicate with you. This may be due to factors relating to the difference between how they communicate and how you like to understand things. However, this is not the kind of understanding I am talking about.
An understanding person is one who makes efforts to understand what you mean, what you are trying to say, and the reasons why you do or say what you say. Many people are too selfish to want to try to understand someone else even if it is someone so close to them. These are people who are not willing to understand, they are okay with their own preferences even if it costs someone else or makes them uncomfortable.
If you want to live peaceably and peacefully, avoid someone who is too big or selfish to understand other people, including their partner.
Attributes You Should Look Out For in Your Partner
We cannot fully talk about red flags to look out for and avoid them without talking about what things to embrace in your partner. Here are such attributes to look out for in your partner.
- Honest
- Commitment
- Understanding
- Ambitiousness
- Forgiveness
- Hardworking
- Submissiveness, etc
Can You Change Someone Who Has a Flaw?
There is always room for change and improvement. The short answer to this question is “Yes, you can”. However, the only problem is that people don’t change so easily. It is hard to change values and ideologies that are core or fundamental to the life of people. If you notice any negative attitude in someone and they persistently display it, it could become considerably difficult to change them from doing such things repeatedly.
What Happens If You Ignore The Red Flags?
The consequences might be grave, the relationship may suffer divorce or separation when you finally decide that you can’t take it anymore. But then, it would have been too late to leave without facing serious consequences. The longer you wait before taking action, the better you are able to prevent problems arising from identifiable red flags in your potential partner. Hence, it is important to highlight a few red flags in a view to sensitize you ahead of time.
Final words
Red flags in a relationship are not things you should ignore. It is absolutely required to identify these red flags in a relationship and take the necessary actions while it is still early enough to do so.
This article highlights important red flags in a relationship you should never ignore. However, different individuals have other red flags that are special to them. So, if I may ask, what are some red flags you can afford to ignore in your potential partner? Drop in comments below.
