Today, I am going to introduce two important concepts: The Hero Instinct and how to trigger a man’s hero instinct to get back his attention. You may have been noticing that your man has been behaving differently towards you lately. He used to be very romantic and attentive to all your physical and emotional needs but now, he does not even look at your face anymore.
Just like everyone else who has emotions, certain behaviors from you can spark or quench your man’s fire for you and can affect the way he shows love towards you; the same way some of his actions can affect how you feel towards him. And you must understand what you can do to trigger your man’s attention and avoid things that can totally put him off.
When your man is losing interest in you sexually and emotionally, as much as it could be that some issues outside your relationship may have caused it, it is also important you consider if you may have caused it too. Most of the reasons stop paying attention to the love of his life are related to her behaviors and actions toward him. If you are doing just right, the battle will be you vs the rest of the world and not any other way.
Things You Do That Make Your Man Lost Interests
As mentioned, some of the reasons why your man stops giving you the attention you deserve are entirely beyond what you do – could be stress, temptations from outside, financial problems, etc. However, you may have pushed him away through the following behaviors;
- Not showing that you care about his needs.
- Not giving him peace of mind when he is around you.
- Nagging, quarreling, and argumentative behaviors are big turn-offs.
- Trampling upon his hero instincts.
If there is any best way to make a man lose interest in loving and caring for you, it is by trampling upon his hero instinct. Very shortly, we will learn more about the hero instinct and how to trigger it to get back your man’s attention.
What is The Hero Instinct: How To Make Him Hopelessly In Love With You
The term “Hero Instinct” was coined by the relationship coach, James Bauer in his book titled “His Secret Obsession“. It instinct refers to the natural desire for a man to feel like a hero, needed and depended upon. Every man secretly wants to be a hero and if he cannot become Superman or Spiderman, he wants to feel like a hero with the one he loves.
James Bauer further describes the hero instinct as one of the basic needs of man asides from food, money, and sex, but it is the single most important obsession of every man. But what makes it the most important need you will find out shortly. The hero instinct is more than just a need, it is a weapon in the hand of someone who understands how to control it. Consider it the power button of every man and here you will learn how to trigger your man’s hero instinct and get back all his attention that you have lost.
Don’t Make Him Choose Between You and Himself
The hero instinct is the power of every man. It is his ego, pride, and passion that drive him to be productive. Every man secretly craves a woman that will continually activate his inner drive to succeed, and if you are that woman, he will never leave you for another. But the only way to constantly fire him up is by understanding how to constantly trigger his hero instincts.
If a man loses his hero instincts (that inner desire to be seen as a hero), he closed everything else in his life. He loses his passion for success and his drive to excel. As a matter of fact, he becomes hopeless about life. Hence, he will do anything to protect his hero instinct at all costs. When you trample upon your man’s hero instinct, you make him choose between you and himself, of course, we know who will choose. But when you constantly activate his hero instincts, you become his closest ally in his battle against the rest of the world.
How Do You Trample Upon Your Man’s Hero Instinct
Here are a few ways you can dampen your man’s hero instinct towards you.
- Act as if you don’t need him.
- Not being submissive to him.
- Claim equality rights with him.
- Feel as if he is “too” loving and caring.
- Questioning him too much, etc.
Signs That You Are Trampling on Your Man’s Hero Instincts
- He starts avoiding or ignoring you.
- He begins to prefer staying away or outside the home even though it is uncomfortable to do so.
- He begins to act bossy or say things that suggest he is trying to re-establish a position of control.
- He starts interacting more with other women in the public.
So far, we have looked at what the hero instinct is, how important it is for every man, things that can quench your man’s hero instincts towards you, and signs that you are already doing so. Now, let us look at how to trigger your man’s hero instinct and constantly make his dying to love you more and more.
How To Trigger Your Man’s Hero Instincts To Get Back His Attention
By triggering your man’s hero instinct, you can get him running back to you if you previously lost his interest. By continually keeping up his hero instinct towards you, you are guaranteed never to lose his attention towards you. Here are 10 ways to trigger your man’s hero instinct and make him perpetually love you more.
1. Be willing to ask him for help when you need to
You may think that it is wrong to feel needy in your relationship but you may be wrong, you know. There is always a moderation limit for everything but if you stop showing that you need your man, you are indirectly quenching his hero instinct towards you. At some point, you need to let go of your independence and genuinely ask for help. This will make him feel needed and puts him in a heroic position to care for and love you even more.
2. Accept gifts from him
This is one checkbox every woman will tick when they are examined. Every woman loves and accepts gifts from the one they love but beyond just that, accepting gifts wholeheartedly from your man makes him feel stronger towards meeting your needs and making you even happier.
You may have a few questions concerning this. What if I don’t like the gift, what do I do? It’s okay to express your dissatisfaction with a gift your man gets you but this should be in moderation. You don’t want to do that every time. Also, when you outrightly reject his gift(s), you are totally quenching his hero instinct and attraction towards you.
3. Show appreciation and gratitude
What happens to heroes in the movies after they have made a conquest? They are celebrated by the community and rewarded by the government or the people that were saved by the hero. Do you make your man feel the same way when he does something nice? When your man does something remarkable, no matter how small it may seem, learn to show him appreciation and gratitude.
There are several ways to make your appreciation stand out. Firstly, appreciate him wholeheartedly. Second, appreciate him with things you know that he loves. Third, sometimes make it a surprise. You don’t know to what extent that special meal can go when you give it to him after doing something heroic for you.
4. But don’t make it burdensome
I earlier talked about how thanking someone too much can be perceived as a problem, hence, you should not make it burdensome. When you are thanking him for what he has done, it is easy to think that you can repay him with your appreciation as though you are directly exchanging your thanks for his good deeds. This may make you overdo the gratitude. Unexpectedly, as long as it makes you happy and you continue to look to him as your hero with respect and love, your man does not expect you to directly pay for any of his heroic acts.
5. Genuinely listen to his advice
If you continually listen to your man’s advice, you are going to make him always root for you no matter what. I understand not all advice from him is going to come out great but it is one thing to listen to his advice, it is another thing to listen to him even if it does not look so great. You trigger your man’s hero instinct when you genuinely listen to his advice as much as possible. It puts him in a position of being your hero and he is going to live true to that.
Worst-case scenario, his idea is directly contradictory to yours and you know that your method has worked before. Find a way to take ideas from both suggestions and let him know that you are listening to him. However, the outcome, you can be guaranteed that your man will stick by you if you listened to him in the first place.
6. Make him feel good before his peers
If you literarily want your man to take you to the moon and back, make him feel special before his peers. Every once in a while, his friends are going to hop by or both of you might go to an event together. You should make conscious efforts to give positive remarks about him and not create an opportunity for people to think of him as not man enough. The best way to make a man feel good before his peers are to respect and obey him before them, especially if you want to secure his maximum attention.
7. Make him know that he is the reason for your happiness
The beautiful thing about many of these hero instinct triggers is that they apply to both partners. The man can also act in the same way to make his woman love him even more. However, they are particularly linked to the man’s innate desire that James Bauer talked about – the hero instinct.
Deep within him, your man wants to make you happy. He makes efforts to make you happy and when he feels that his efforts are not in vain, it motivates him to do even more. One way to make your man know that he is making you happy is by putting up a cheerful and peaceful attitude when you are around him, how you look, your dressing, etc. Another way is by saying it. “Honey, you are the reason for my happiness”. That won’t be too hard to say, will it?
8. Support him in anything he does
Have you heard of some notorious people in the world, how they did atrocious deeds and everybody hated them? Ask yourself, what did their wife say or do about it? Absolutely nothing more than supporting them in whatever they are doing. The best way to prove your love to your man is to submit to anything he is doing. If you point out a suggestion to him and he expresses full determination to go ahead, show him that you support him still. Thankfully, your man is not an Adolf Hitler but even if he is, support him as you would your own hero.
9. Learn to make an apology when you offend him
If you do not understand how to resolve issues between you and your man, you are going to end up making him uninterested in you. If you offend your man and he points it out to you, it is only expected that you apologize to him. If you fail to apologize to him, it sends the signal through his hero instinct wires that you don’t think he is your hero. It shows that you are not submissive to him and guess what, this path is one of the weakest points through which another woman can take your man’s attention away from you.
10. Be willing to challenge him competitively
The one thing every man hate is having a woman who does not challenge him. Competition is often considered a man’s thing but it can help challenge your man even better. For example, if your man asks for a time target to complete something for him, don’t be indifferent to what he said. Mark the time for him and stay with him throughout the challenge, while assuring him that he can achieve his target.
If in the end, he doesn’t succeed in his target, support him still. Oftentimes, your man will not set a challenge that involves you competing with him but if he does, take them in good faith. This is because either way it goes, you will always be the winner if you make him your hero.
Does Feminism Destroy a Man’s Hero Instincts?
Feminism is an advocacy movement for women’s rights and equality of the sexes. The movement is about creating equal rights and opportunities for both genders, especially in the workplace. But this movement has often been misconstrued by many people to mean equality of rights, opportunities, and social hierarchy between partners of the opposite sex in the home. In this understanding, the idea of feminism can negatively affect your man’s hero instinct when you feel you don’t need him for anything other than just being your partner.
Final words
I hope I kept to my promise to explain what hero instinct is and how you can trigger your man’s hero instinct to get back his attention. The hero instinct is by far one of the strongest ways to make your man keep falling for you, thanks to James Bauer. I wish you a very happy union in your relationship and marriage.
Below is a video of James Bauer’s hero instinct introduction.
