The term “gamophobia” is used to refer to the fear of commitment, and irrational fear of marriage. Though mild and quite common, it can also be excessive, persistent, and uncontrollable. It is derived from the Greek word “Gamos” which means marriage and “Phobos” meaning fear. Many experts may agree that there is a small difference between the fear of marriage and the fear of commitment.
Are you seeing a girl that loves and like to be with you? She obviously gives you the green light signals and now you have decided to go after her. But then she blocks all your attempts to approach her.
It can be really infuriating, right?
Or you see a guy that shows that she really loves you, does everything for you but he is never able to ask you the important questions that will define the relationship?
Studies reveal that the number of people that are actually terrified when it comes to commitment or marriage varies with ages and sex as shown in the chart above.
One of the possible reasons why this happens amongst unmarried young people is the fear of marriage, gamophobia as you would call it.
Marriage is a sweet experience but have you ever wondered why someone would be scared of it?
But just before we go into that, let’s rule out another close probability from the picture. When people are about to wed, they may sometimes feel strange because it appears to them as if they are not in reality yet, as if they are dreaming. Too good to be true is just the best way to explain how they feel.
However, fear may be intertwined because they are not entirely sure what the next phase holds for them. All these refer to the mild form of fear of marriage which disappear very shortly after. But in the extreme cases, there is even the fear to get committed to marrying your partner. You just don’t want any guy or young lady to get to the point where they start getting committed with you. I must confess, this is quite too extreme and should be considered abnormal.
Now, let’s go to the possible causes;
1. Fear of a negative past experience in relationships.
2. Fear of what to expect and what not to.
3. Uncertainty on the type of person you want as a partner.
4. Feeling of not ready for marriage.
5. A belief that it’s too early.
There is a myriad of reasons, even including certain hormonal defects though rare. Altogether, a close look reveals that all of those reasons are founded on no concrete foundation.
I see no reason why you will keep allowing your past to haunt you, or you just don’t know what to expect in marriage.
The girl is probably blocking the way because she thinks you are not really serious for a relationship. This itself may not be referred to as gamophobia, but a slight increase in the extent of this can easily make it abnormal, irrational and unwarranted.
It is such a disgusting feeling that you are trying to draw close to this beautiful girl and she is busy trying hard not to allow it. And then, when you stop attempting, she comes back with all her goodness. It seems as if, she is playing games with your naïve head and this can be very infuriating.
But then after, what do you do about this? I guess you just zoom off because you assure yourself that they are really not serious.
But what if you are the terrified party? What do you need to know?
First, you must understand that whatever past you may have had should not deter you that and just in case, you think you need to be perfect first or you afraid you won’t find the perfect one for you, take it that no one is perfect yet but you can find the perfect one for you that will turn your imperfections to perfection.
From the statistics, more ladies than guys are afraid of commitments. One of the reasons why these people may be so terrified of committed relationships may be the fear of losing other valuable relationships.
Some people, especially ladies are too scared off calling it quits with their best friend. Really, you get to lose some friends when you get committed in a relationship.
Only a few confident persons are able to stand up against anyone to defend their relationship, even if it means having to allow son fighting with their former best friends.
Another reason why people may not want to be committed to a particular relationship is the fear of seeing it fail or ending in a woeful heartbreak.
But in all, you must realize that only the courageous take their partners to themselves. There may be obstacles on your way to finding true love but you must be ready to seize every opportunity you have to make it work.
In essence, if you continue to let gamophobia have its way, you will also continue to remain the way you are, single and not interested in marriage. I guess that’s not what you want, right?
So, Lee your head up and face the reality. A reality where you will learn to believe in yourself and to understand that you may not always find frank perfect people. You will later come to realize that they were actually perfect people in cloaks of imperfection.
Conclusively, gamophobia is the fear of getting married or being committed to a relationship. Still terrified of marriage? It is really not necessary.
