First, let me explain what I mean by sexual relationship here; any relationship between two people with the aim of getting married or having a longer-lasting intimacy in the future.
When young people are in a relationship, there is often the desire to satisfy some emotional needs of your partner. Hence, young people in a pre-marital relationship often demand close body contacts, kissing, and sex as ways to satisfy their sexual needs.
I’ve encountered people who think their partner left them because they were not able to provide the necessary emotional support. How true could that be? Here, you are going to find ways to better provide emotional support to your partner in the safest way as possible. First, let us consider dating in young people.
Can Dating Be Handled Without Errors In Young People?
Many times, young people think they can handle dating without making grievous mistakes or ending up with heartbreak. The older married folks would insist that it is practically impossible to achieve that.
Few times, young people have succeeded in proving that they are capable of handling dating efficiently but other times, it ends up in a “shit-hole”. However, dating or courtship as some would call it have been shown to be an essential ingredient in a union that would end successfully in marriage.
So the debate goes on and on whether young people can handle dating without some grave errors or not.
What Are The Errors In A Sexual Relationship
There is a great need to know what would be considered errors in a sexual relationship. But these may not be so absolute in the sense that, they depend on what standards the persons involved have set for themselves.
Deviation from one’s standards is considered an error and these are likely to occur from the pressures posed by a blooming sexual relationship. The need to satisfy the emotional desires of your partner can often make you compromise your own standards, to support that young people cannot go on a date effectively and efficiently.
Let us now try to compare the needs of the man to those of the lady in a sexual relationship.
Comparing The Man’s Needs To The Lady’s Wants
I have once said that when the man is really mature, the success of a union is guaranteed to a very great extent. The foremost thing required for a relationship to work out is maturity and commitment by both partners.
The guy would tirelessly try to find out what his lady truly want, and many times they get “trampled upon” before they succeed in knowing it.
Maturity naturally follows age and experience but the experience is not measured by age alone. Experience is a product of one’s exposure to experiences in life or thorough knowledge about them.
One of the greatest source of wisdom and understanding even to young people is from people who have gone ahead of them.
In a relationship, the woman has a list of criteria for the man. Here, we will briefly talk about some qualities that a man should develop to be successful in any union up until marriage.
1. Be Strong-willed And Decisive
Most ladies will naturally gravitate towards a guy that is strong-willed and decisive. They like a man that is not easily influenced or tossed.
It is true that everyone compromises at certain points but you must let your core values stand out irrespective of the pressure from outside. People often think by doing all your female partner demands, you can keep them. But that is not true, they want you to maintain your stance and this they are able to deduce from the way you handle some of their pressures.
Not deviating from your core values and strictly-established decisions mean you are error-proof.
It does not mean you should not listen to them, but you must watch out for your core values and protect them. These core values often revolve around morals and sexuality.
Exceptionally, there are ladies that seem to show that they are their own lords. On a closer look, they are only trying to protect their core values too. A guy that understands her core values and is willing to compromise for her would be able to lead her.
2. Be Mature And Act Maturely
Childishness can be viewed from many perspectives. Some would see it from the behavioural perspective where someone is judged as mature or not based on how they behave, their demeanour, or by the manner with which they handle common issues.
Another view of maturity is based on the premise that the body parts can show how mature a person is. This is grossly physical and closely links maturity with advancing age. In this case, the presence of well-formed secondary sexual features indicates maturity.
However, for your partner, all parameters of maturity are accounted for, both physical, emotional, and otherwise.
3. Be Responsible
This is a very important attribute. Responsibility in this context denotes one’s ability to absorb financial, emotional and physical burdens.
A lady would want you to be involved in some gainful activity, or at least, have a clear thought of what you want to do. This they do to ensure that her future is financially secure with you.
4. Be Romantic
For certain reasons, ladies want someone who can make them stand out from the crowd of other beautiful ladies. She wants to feel loved and special at all times. They, therefore, desire a man that knows how to make them feel so.
On the issue of romance, many people have equated it to sex. To a few others, they have found it difficult to delineate the boundaries for what romance should mean. But being romantic can involve the very innocent things you do commonly. For example, the way you speak with them, your mannerism of things, body contacts, or presenting gifts to them.
What about sex, what do I have to say about it?
Sex Is Not Romance And Should Not Be The Centre Of A Growing Union
I was involved in a discussion with a friend on the thesis that sex can be used to keep a relationship. In the end, we both discovered that sex is not supposed to be considered an ingredient of relationship building.
Young people have often-times being deceived that they can keep a partner by offering them sex. This may work to some extent but the tailing ends always become catastrophic.
Below are some findings I came up with:
- Young people can be maritally serious with one person and be sexually active with another. Awful, right?
- Some people are unable to say no to their partner when they ask for sex because they fear that saying “no” could destroy their relationship.
- Some ladies especially could have multiple ‘dates’ acting different roles, some for sex, others for money, and so on.
These are objective findings but they have helped me to arrive at the conclusion that sex may be able to hold a union together but it is never recommended for a premarital relationship as it is doomed to fail.
The elders still assert fully that dating cannot be recommended in unmarried people because they may not be able to keep to their limits and avoid illicit acts. But I think maturity can help one navigate through without compromise. The pressures and the dire need to succumb may make the elders right on their own standpoint, but there is a way to handle sexual relationships without fault.
You Must Understand Their Weakness And Be Their Strength
One of the reasons a lady would want a decisive man is that they believe he can control her excesses and weaknesses.
Close body contacts with someone you love tend to release different hormones that engage them for the act of sex. But it may not be very easy to separate these kinds of contacts from the present-day relationships. Then, how do one control these emotional and hormonal pressures?
Solutions to these have concretely been based on religious or spiritual supports, but no attempt shall be made to delve into any spiritual intervention to handling such pressures.
Suffice me to say that it is within the decisive ability of a man to say “no” when pressures come from his female partner and vice-versa.
I can say for sure that ladies who take their life and future seriously would prefer to be deprived sex than to ruin their integrity thereafter, all in the name of keeping their partner. Even when marriage is in view it still does not support uncontrollable sexual behaviours. In my opinion, it is extremely wrong to indulge in premarital sex before marriage.
Conclusively, in order to handle a relationship appropriately, you need to be mature in the way you relate and interact with your partner. Being in a relationship does not equate to being married and it must be allowed to remain so without indulging in sexual activities that are strictly restricted to married people.