Being loyal to a fault is a phrase you may have heard before but you might be wondering what it means to be loyal to a fault. Here, I will show you what loyalty to a fault means as it concerns your relationship with your partner, as well as the implications of being loyal to a fault.
According to the Urban Dictionary, “loyal to a fault” means “a behavior(s) that shows that one is taking loyalty to the extreme, to magnitudes that causes one more harm than good”. This is something you may otherwise refer to as stupid loyalty.
Loyalty to a fault cuts across various aspects of life including craftsmanship, mentorship, entrepreneurship, relationships, and so on. The consequences of being loyal to a fault are also dependent on the nature of the relationship between the two people involved.
While I am willing to scratch on what loyalty to a fault means in other aspects, my emphasis will be on it regarding sexual relationships with your partner.
Consequences of Being Loyal To A Fault
Contrary to what you may be thinking, being extremely loyal can have positive consequences too. Extreme loyalty in the political setting can make your boss recommend you for positions when the opportunity opens up. In business, extreme loyalty can make your boss teach you some of the greatest business principles he/she has learned.
However, being loyal to a fault is a phrase reserved for excessive loyalty that can bring you harm. For example, being loyal to your fault to an extent you can agree to take a life to cover their dubiousness. That is what being loyal to a fault means and it can come with several consequences.
- Being loyal to a fault can cost you your happiness.
- It can put you in legal issues.
- It can cost your life in extreme cases.
- Loyalty to a fault can cost you your money or assets.
What it Means to be Loyal to a Fault in a Relationship
Loyalty to a fault in a relationship refers to extreme loyalty to your partner in such a way that you lose being yourself in a quest to make your partner happy. It is a situation where one partner shows so much loyalty but is unreciprocated.
Loyalty is a great virtue every relationship deserves to have. However, it should be shown by both parties in the relationship. The presence of mutual commitment in any relationship brings love, peace, and happiness. Loyalty should therefore be displayed from both sides in almost equal proportions.
Loyalty becomes ‘to a fault’ in a relationship when it is being expressed in potentially harmful ways without your partner showing you loyalty as well.
There exists a thin line between loyalty and loyalty to a fault. The distinction is sometimes so faint many people do not exactly know when they have become loyal to a fault in their relationship. In the next section, we will explore what it means to be loyal to a fault and signs that you may be loyal to a fault in your relationship.
Signs You Are Loyal To a Fault in Your Relationship
Here, we will see how normal loyalty is seamlessly interwoven into loyalty to a fault.
1. You are very supportive
Supportiveness is one characteristic of a loyal partner. When you are loyal to your partner, you support and believe in them unconditionally. You become your partner’s number-one fan.
As great as that may sound, being very supportive can be a sign that you are loyal to a fault particularly when your partner does not reciprocate the same. When you are supportive of your partner, you motivate and encourage them to be the best at what they do, you stick with them through thick or thin, and you are committed to them at all times.
The fault in loyalty comes when you are excessively supportive to your partner who does not show you support as well, even when you are sacrificing your life and life’s goals in the process.
2. You are very trustworthy
Trustworthiness is another sign of loyalty which can also be described as being to a fault when you are very trustworthy but your partner abuses your trustworthiness and trust by doing untrustworthy things behind your back.
You know you are loyal to a fault when you are trustworthy, you know your partner is untrustworthy, but you are not ready to talk about it because you simply want him/her to be happy even if it is at your own cost.
3. You are extremely honest
None of these attributes of loyalty is abnormal. It is good to be loyal and honest to your partner. However, it is practically impossible to talk about loyalty to a fault without talking about the same attributes of loyalty. This is because there is a thin line between healthy loyalty and loyalty to a fault.
You want to be very honest to your partner but you also deserve to be shown honesty too.
4. You display unwavering hope to your partner
When you are loyal to your partner, you display hope and unwavering optimism in the relationship. You love them and want your partner to succeed in everything they do.
However, this can easily be to a fault when your partner dashes your hopes to the ground by not investing in the relationship or making you happy for all the sacrifices you make for him/her and the relationship.
5. You invest in your partner
Loyalty in a relationship comes without a desire to make your partner’s life better than when you met him/her. It makes you see the other person as an extension of yourself, thus you are willing to invest so much into your partner’s life.
It is only loyalty to a fault when your partner does not reciprocate it, or when you see signs that your investment in your partner will not end well for you but you keep on doing so. These signs typically involve a tendency for your partner to quit the relationship after all you have put into it.
6. You are very generous
Loyalty to your partner comes with generosity. When you are loyal to your partner, you can give yourself and all you have for them. This is a great virtue and an important requirement for every healthy relationship.
Similarly to other signs of loyalty, generosity can be to a fault in a relationship when you give yourself and all you have but your partner does not reciprocate it or show commitment to you in the relationship.
7. You stand by your partner always
This means you are supportive, you take your partner’s side in every argument they are involved in, and even when they are wrong, you stand by them. This is a sign of loyalty to your partner.
But do they also stand by you in similar situations, or do they leave you to suffer your fate by yourself? You should look out for subtle signs that you are becoming loyal to a fault in your relationship and find ways to reverse things before it gets too late. We will see specific ways to handle being loyal to a fault in the next section.
8. You can’t dream of being unfaithful
You would never dream of being unfaithful to your partner and are ready to resist all temptations to cheat on them. But does your partner cheat on you despite your loyalty? If yes, then your loyalty has been faulted. You deserve to set things straight with your partner and not make a fool of yourself in the name of loyalty.
9. You see a future for the relationship
Whether it is a budding relationship or an over-a-year-old one, commitment makes one see a future for a relationship. Commitment brings loyalty and sacrifice, in which case you are willing to let go of other opportunities and advances just to be with your significant other.
Again, it is not a bad thing to be committed to your partner, and neither is it out of place to be very loyal. It only becomes a fault when your partner doesn’t feel or act the same way, in which case you will end up getting hurt and heartbroken.
What to do If You Are Loyal to a Fault
If you find out that your loyalty in the relationship is not reciprocated by your partner, and you think it might be your hurt if nothing is done about it, here are some steps on how to restore healthy loyalty to your relationship.
1. Re-evaluate yourself
Why would you be so loyal that you don’t even mind if you are being trampled upon? It could be that you have downgraded your self-worth due to certain circumstances. It would help if you re-evaluated yourself to see why you may have reduced your standards or re-calibrated your self-worth negatively.
You need to discover those factors and reassure yourself that you are worth being treated well and being shown love and loyalty as well. Simply looking into yourself and identifying those reasons can help you know how to get back on track in the relationship.
2. Examine the relationship dynamics
The factors affecting your perception of self-worth could be related to things other than yourself. They could be related to the relationship and how things have changed over time.
To identify why you have suddenly lost yourself in the relationship, you should also examine what has changed in the relationship. Is a physical or emotional distance gradually encroaching on the relationship? What stage are you in the relationship now? Answering these important questions can help you know how to address issues of being loyal to a fault in your relationship.
3. Discuss with your partner
The time might be right to discuss with your partner what you feel in the relationship. Once you identify that you are being loyal to a fault, and have also handpicked some of the likely factors contributing to that, you might want to discuss it with your partner, especially if it has anything to do with him.
During conversations with your relationship partner, discuss your fears, concerns, and thoughts, and also allow them to share theirs too. In the process, you may find out your partner’s fears and why exactly they are acting the way they do.
4. Practice self-care
At some point, you may have to focus more on your well-being and less on anyone else. You need to be alive and well to show care to anyone else, so it has to begin with you.
Suppose you discover that you are being loyal to a fault to your detriment. In that case, you should start looking after yourself more, until you begin to enjoy reciprocated loyalty in your relationship.
5. Consult a relationship/marriage counselor
If the issues are beyond you as a couple, you might need to consult the services of a relationship or marriage counselor. This professional can help you identify the hidden causes of the problem and offer you helpful advice that can restore mutual loyalty to your marriage.
Consulting a professional is often preferred to seeking opinions from friends and family who might end up causing more harm than good. Unlike a professional counselor, friends, and family are often sentimental and biased in their input to solving issues like this.
Conclusion
You have seen what loyalty to a fault means. You have also seen the various contexts where loyalty to a fault can apply, as well as the signs that one may be loyal to a fault. Lastly, you have seen some helpful interventions when you discover that you have been loyal to a fault.
Loyalty is a great virtue in any relationship but there is a very thin line between healthy loyalty and loyalty to a fault. The best way to find out if one has become loyal to a fault is to check if one’s loyalty is unreciprocated, or if one’s partner is acting in ways that may suggest that they would cause one hurt despite one’s loyalty.
