They say time heals but if you do not know how to overcome the hard times, you may feel too hopeless to realise that you will come out a better and stronger person after this hard times.
Having to move on after a break-up is something everyone would finally get on with as time moves on, but the sequelae of events can be so traumatizing that some people would have done really crazy things before they realise that it can be easier and better handled.
But just before, we go on to understand the ways of moving on after a break-up, I think knowing what the real problem is will go a long way to reduce how you feel right now if you are currently a victim of heartbreak.
How Does A Heartbreak FeelWhen your ex suddenly begins to ignore you, doesn't pick up your calls and does this for many days, you begin to think. Was it not the person I talked with a few moments ago? And you just want to find out why they had to leave. I know how it feels to get ignored by someone you have always loved with no hope of a return and I know it is a terrible experience.
In mild cases, you may only be losing attention and focus on the things you are involved in but when severe enough, it can affect your mood, sleep, appetite, and drive. But then, why does this occur?
What Causes The Feeling Of HeartbreakHeartbreak, so rightly called because you feel like your heart has been broken into one or more pieces. It can occur when a romantic relationship ends, or when you lose someone you love for some reasons. When you remember the good times you shared with someone who is no more in your life, you feel as if a chunk of your life has been taken out of you.
When it comes to love, we all know that it is a very strong feeling of emotional attachment with another person. The good things or words that you exchanged at different points of your relationship can trigger the "missing feeling", but this time, they are nowhere to be found. And to realize that the same person who loved you has now turned their backs on you, can be really traumatizing.
Why Did They LeaveOne important but often rhetorical question that you may be asking yourself after a breakup is "why did he or she leave me this way?".
You begin to think about the things that you may have done wrong and yes, you are going to come up with a handful of such things. But one thing you should remember at this point is that no blossoming relationship is without its own rough times.
An insight into why they had to leave could be that they were not always comfortable around you.
I think it is childish to heartlessly turn your backs on some rather unsuspecting victim, although there are times when that would be necessary. I believe there are ways to handle such differences without having to cause a huge scar in someone's heart.
However, in almost every case, both individuals experience the pain to varying extents through worse on one.
How To Move On After A HeartbreakMoving on after a heartbreak generally means getting over the thoughts of the person completely and being able to have someone else who could take the vacuum of love from the last relationship. This is never easy to achieve, and the usual reaction is the strong opposition to any new relationships.
One other thing that can be noticed is that, even after moving on with another person, people can still be haunted by the past relationship and would easily think the same thing might happen to them once again.
There are many sources out there that provide some help on how to move on following a break-up but here you are going to learn some more ways to handle a breakup and move on thereafter.
- Do your best to get them back During a breakup, you are either questioning yourself for what you may have done wrong to deserve it, or you may be asking the "what if" questions. What if he just wanted me to push harder to get him back? What if she was only testing how much I truly love her?
- Get rid of things that remind you of them Breakup is especially painful because you remember how much you exchanged love with your partner, the things you did together and the times you shared. You hear yourself recounting how much he/she loved you. And thereafter, you will ask further "why did he/she stop loving me".
- Make out with old friends and meet new ones The void created by a breakup may not be immediately occupied but by relating with other people, you can more easily forget the pain and gradually heal your broken heart. It also makes it easier to get on with someone else within the shortest possible time.
- Don't try to contact their blocked contacts, call someone else Yes, the first point permitted you to do your best to get them back but after a while, you must know when to stop. When you notice that they have blocked all their contacts from you, restrain yourself from digging too hard to reach them. You may only be wasting your precious time.
- Assure yourself you deserve better One way to effectively trick your mind to let go easily is to tell yourself that you deserve better. And indeed, you truly deserve better. 99.9% of people confirm that the best thing that happened to them was for their ex to leave them. That is to say, a majority of people who have had a break find their new partner better suited and more preferred than their ex(es). So in reality, they left because they do not deserve you, they just couldn't stand your superiority.
- Do what you love doing In addition to spending time with friends to relieve your feelings, you should also spend time with your own self. Not time for thinking about useless and painful things but time to enjoy what you love doing. This can make you feel so alive and help to forget and healing the wounds of breakup faster.
- Take it as a chance to get better There are many things that motivate people to get better and funny enough, a breakup is one of them.
- Tell yourself you do not hate them and do not hate them Try not to harbour hatred against them. Hating them makes you make some rash things against yourself thinking that you are punishing them. In this post, one of the theories of suicides believes in the creation of a love object in your mind, a replica of the objects or people you love physically. Such that, when there is a reason to hate the object, they seek to eliminate it by taking their lives.
- Change your environment Environments also bear some relics of the good past you once had with your ex. If you think that you are unable to handle the situation, or you have tried but it is not getting any easier, you could try changing locations to areas that will remind you less of the times you had together.
Truth be told, someone who truly loves you would not let you go through all those pains, but your enchanted human mind would not stop gushing over the questions over and over again.
The best way to reduce how much you remember of your past together is to get rid of things that remind you of your past with them. There are the memories that will yet remain difficult to deal with but time will heal. You can only control how much it gets to you by reducing how much you think about them.
Making new friends of the same sex with your ex can help you heal faster but one thing you must avoid at this time is "making it seem like you are punishing them". They are not in your life anymore and anything you do rashly will only affect you and you alone.
Most times, if you succeed in reaching them, the same cycle of blocking off would still occur.
After you may have asked all the questions why they left you so heartlessly, you would have come up with your own answers to them. And now it's time to start working on some of your mistakes and get better. Like I mentioned earlier, even the blossoming relationships have these elements too but it is the commitment between both parties that makes the difference.
For the time being, they still hold a part of your heart, an attempt to hate them is thus, hatred of your own heart.
Someone who loves you will protect you and your heart. For leaving you, it means they do not love you. They may have even shown you one time that they do not love you but you were caught up loving them and so...
Also, Read Proof That We Fall In Love Only Three Times In a Lifetime
The Better Way Of Breaking Up