10 Pros and Cons of Marrying an Older Woman

If you are in love with an older woman and want to marry her, here is what you need to see before making any drastic decision. I have compiled some advantages and disadvantages of marrying an older woman from the accounts of men who married an older woman.

Even though it is not morally or legally wrong to marry a woman older than you as you may have already seen, there seems to be some unspoken societal bias against marrying an older woman as a man. People focus more on the perceived disadvantages of marrying an older woman without seeing some of the advantages you will see in this post.

You may want to know the disadvantages of marrying an older woman to better prepare for what you are going into. And in my research, one important source I found was the account of a Quora user named Dex Harper who shared some pros and cons of marrying an older woman after 9 years of being married to a woman 22 years older than him.

Just before we see these pros and cons, let’s briefly see some notable men who married an older woman.

Notable Men Who Married An Older Woman

Before we see the pros and cons of marrying an older woman, why don’t we first see some notable men who married an older woman? Maybe if you ever went ahead to marry her, this will make you see that you are not the first man who ever married a woman older than himself.

While women naturally prefer marrying an older male^[1]Should females prefer old males? – PMC, these women are living happily with their younger husbands.

1. Emmanuel Macron, a French politician and one-time President of France, is happily married to Brigitte Macron.
2. Nick Jonas and the beautiful Indian actress, Priyanka Chopra.
3. Gerald Pique, the Spanish footballer, and the popular Colombian singer, Shakira.
4. Jason Mamoa of Aquaman and Lisa Bonnet.

These couples have an age gap ranging from 10 years between Nick-Priyanka, Gerald-Shakira, and Jason-Lisa, to 24 years between Emmanuel and Brigitte Macron. And they are living very happily together

Pros/Advantages of Marrying an Older Woman

Dex Harper, who has been married to his 22-year older wife has shared some of the advantages of marrying an older man. I have taken time to do my research too, and here are the pros of a man marrying a woman older than him.

1. She is more mature

Better put, she is more mature than girls of your age. With years of experience and learning, she has come to understand life better than younger girls your age. This means she would handle issues better in the relationship, understand you better, and behave more maturely towards other people around you.

2. She is caring and homely

Older women are very caring and they show their care and love wholeheartedly. They know what it takes to care for a man, she would pamper you, and also value your family members with genuine homeliness.

3. She understands life well

An older woman understands the important things in life that bring peace to the relationship. These include acceptance, forgiveness, submission, and understanding. Due to her maturity, she can navigate through the challenges that may arise and sail through the marriage happily with you.

When there is a conflict, she will be more interested in correcting or rectifying the problems instead of fighting.

4. She understands you better

Not only does she understand life well, but she also learns to understand you. She may have had relations with several other men in the past and has now understood the general desires of men. In addition, she also makes a special effort to study you as a person.

An older wife does not judge you unnecessarily. She tries to keep the peace of mind you both share by not raising the dust over trivial matters. And even when other people try to come between you too, she knows you better than what they say about you.

5. She is very good in bed

Contrary to what some may think, older wives are very good in bed. She is not new to sex and she knows how to communicate what she wants during sex. She would also know what you want from her in bed and do it for you.

In a survey conducted by Today.com, here are the experiences of some men with an older woman (All ages were reported at the time of the survey).

“Sex with an older woman is like an intense marathon” – Zach (26)

“An older woman knows exactly what she wants and how to communicate it – Gary (39)

Phenomenal! The sex was important – but I was really concerned about what she needed and desired. She would take over and go from there. It made things a hell of a lot easier, because we just there to have fun. It was like breaking through a major barrier that takes other people forever to figure out. There was a ‘click’ sexually. It was easy and it was great – Russ (29)

The biggest advantage is that they know what they want so there’s no guesswork. You may try to please them and they’ll tell you if it isn’t working. I loved it. That’s a turn on. Absolutely no negatives about se. It was the best. The best! – Scott (25)

6. She would be more financially stable

Most of the time, an older woman who wants to marry a younger man would be financially stable. All she wants is good vibes and energy, as well as the tender love of the man. She can use her financial stability to get you on your feet until you are stable on your own too.

Even though this should not be a primary reason to marry an older woman, this is another perk marrying an older woman could bring.

7. She makes you more mature

Another advantage of marrying an older woman is that she can make you more mature through her experience and maturity. A lot changes about you when you are constantly living with an older wife.

Unlike the case with a younger woman who constantly looks up to you for wisdom, you can look up to your older wife for wisdom and learn more things that would make you more mature than your age.

8. She is genuine and honest

One adorable thing about having an older woman as your wife is that she does not act up or pretend when something is not right. She could come straight to the point and express her genuine emotions. This is beneficial in preventing conflicts from deteriorating into bigger problems in the marriage.

9. She would be very open-minded about things

Open-mindedness is one important advantage of marrying an older woman. Instead of being opposed to trying new things, an older woman who has experienced much about life is not afraid to try new things or encourage you to do new things. This can make her support you in any endeavors you want, thus helping you to become more successful in your life.

10. She gives more helpful insights

Aside from sex, an older woman is also experienced in other things in life including finances, leadership, business, and so on. This means you can have a reliable head to discuss these matters with when you are planning to get into something new.

Cons/Disadvantages of Marrying an Older Woman

Now that we have seen some advantages of marrying an older woman, let’s now see some disadvantages. I guess this is the part you have been waiting for.

Here we go…

1. Sometimes she could be a bit overprotective

This was the first disadvantage Dex Harper gave about marrying an older woman. Realizing that she is older than you, she might occasionally turn to “mother mode” when she acts as if she is trying to protect you even when you want to be seen as the head and her protector.

2. It can take some time for your family/friends to accept her

Even though it is your own life to live, you cannot do without those you call your family and friends. You want these people to accept your wife the same way they have accepted you but this can be challenging since it might not be easy for your wife to gain your family’s acceptance when they realize that she is older than you.

3. She might be having kids already

If you are getting married to an older woman, chances are high that she might already have kids from a previous marriage or relationship. This can be discouraging if this is not something you are not prepared for, especially if you have not had any kids before. However, this is a minor challenge if you truly love her and want to be with her.

4. She might not always share the same interest

There could be a generational gap between you both, especially if the age gap is wide. The kind of movies, music, and recreation she likes might be different from yours. This means that either one or both of you might have to learn to adapt your interests and preferences to match with each other.

5. She might not want kids anymore when you do

For an older woman who already has as many kids as she wants, she might not want kids anymore even when you do. You may not have had any child before you married her but this can be a big problem in the marriage if both of you do not come to a conclusive agreement.

6. Some of her children may be older than you

For a person like Dex Harper who married a woman 22 years older than him, some of your step-children might likely be older than you. In Harper’s case, her eldest son is 2 years older than him.

7. You would get condescending comments from people

When you marry an older woman, it is not uncommon to hear things like “Is that your mother” or “Aren’t you with her for her money”. Sometimes, unsuspecting people genuinely do not think you are husband and wife. You have to learn to get used to it.

8. She might not like meeting your friends

It’s hard to choose which group to belong to, whether with her friends or your friends. You might have to always hang out with those friends you are both comfortable with but she sometimes might not like meeting your friends no matter how hard you try.

9. You might lose interest in her

Depending on your desires and your reasons for marrying her, you might start losing interest in her after a while. You might begin to desire your mates or younger women after a few years together. Some of her unpleasant traits might make you lose interest in her and go for younger women instead.

10. You might not like her getting saggy

By her age, her breasts might get so saggy that you may not like it that way. Not everyone cares about saggy breasts but you just might be one person who loves to see rigid breasts for a very long time.

Can you marry an older woman?

After having seen the pros and the cons, it is now time to decide if you want to go ahead with the marriage or not. Your decision would depend on whether you want to conform to regular society’s prescriptions and marry a younger woman, or change the status quo and marry the woman who gives you joy and happiness, irrespective of her age.

You should be weighing the disadvantages of marrying an older woman stated above but if you are still unsure what to do, here is an open letter Benjamin Franklin wrote to an anonymous friend in 1745 about marrying an older woman;

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Final words

It may not be a very easy choice to marry an older woman when society passively opposes it. If these pros and cons do not help you make your decision, you may need to seek the counsel of an unbiased marriage counselor.

Despite what anyone says, it’s your own life and the decision is yours to make. Go ahead and marry her if she makes you happy. After all, you are not the first to marry an older woman, and you certainly won’t be the last.