Are you in a serious relationship with a man, and you are looking for clearer signs that he wants to marry you? It is good to seek reassurance that a man you like actually wants to settle with you, so you don’t waste your time being with him.
According to a study, around 47% of men expressed having a feeling of uncertainty or doubt in their relationship with their partner before getting married. A number of these progressed into marriage, but many of these marriages experienced serious turmoils, and about 14% of such relationships ended in divorce.[1]Lavner JA, Karney BR, Bradbury TN. Do cold feet warn of trouble ahead? Premarital uncertainty and four-year marital outcomes. J Fam Psychol. 2012 Dec;26(6):1012-7. doi: 10.1037/a0029912. Epub 2012 … Continue reading
For a woman, there is not enough time to waste being with someone who does not have the intention to marry you, which is why you might be curious about knowing the exact signs that your man wants to marry you, or if he might change his mind in the relationship.
Even when he struggles to resolve his feelings and challenges that may be standing in his way, a man who will marry you will show these clear signs, even if he has internal feelings he is struggling with.
Common Reasons a Man May be Uncertain For Marriage
Knowing the deeper reasons why a man is hesitating to propose marriage to you is important in knowing whether he wants to marry you or not. For example, a man who is still trying to get on his feet financially may not want to act too fast in making you his wife.
Here are some reasons why a man can love you but still show signs of cold feet about getting serious with you.
- He is not financially ready for marriage and doesn’t know for how long you are willing to wait: One would say that you don’t need to have all the money in the world before you are ready for marriage, but different people have different ideas about what they want before settling down for marriage. Thus, this may be one reasons why he is showing uncertainty for marriage.
- Career pursuit: This is yet another reason why a man would not be showing signs of taking the relationship to the next level.
- He is still rationalizing if he likes you enough: This is the bitter pill we all have to swallow. It is possible for a man not to like you enough but likes you to some extent. Maybe there is something about you he is finding it hard to accept or rationalize for. This point should take us to the next section about the clear signs that he wants to marry you or not.
Clear Signs He Wants to Marry You
Several people have opened up about how they instantly knew the woman they want to marry. You may also have seen or heard of such instances, but the fact is that when a man loves you and want to marry you, there are signs.
Let’s see some of those signs here.
1. He feels and acts different around you
One of the clear signs that a man wants to marry you is in the way he acts towards you. Does he act more carefully, is more understanding, or instantly lightens up when he sees you? These are some clear signs that he holds you at esteem now and into the future.
2. He confides in you
A man who wants to marry you confides in you and can willingly share deep challenges and secrets with you. He wants to see how you would respond to those deep things that are worrying you because he sees himself getting married to you.
3. He misses you when you are apart
Whether romantically or not, a man who wants to marry you feel as though he is incomplete when you are not around. He wants to see you, hear your voice, or just know how you are doing, when you are away.
He always like to remember you because it gives him happiness. So, if you notice that he is calling you often, there is a high chance that he has plans to marry you now or shortly later.
4. He talks about marriage
Research has shown that women are more keen on getting married than men but when a man suddenly starts talking about getting married, you can be sure that he really means business.[2]Ismail, R. (2025, July 7). Why women are more keen on getting married. The Citizen. Mwananchi Communications Limited. Retrieved from … Continue reading[3]Stanley, S. M. (2019). What is it with men and commitment, anyway? (Working paper). University of Denver. Retrieved August 9, 2025, from https://app.box.com/s/1zketqdii1ccnqb5vlf9 Thus, if your boyfriend suddenly feels comfortable discussing marriage, you can be certain he wants to marry you.
5. He remembers your birthday
According to a Norwegian population-based health study, majority (90%) of men have problems remembering names and dates even when they are in a relationship.[4]Norwegian University of Science and Technology. (2014, January 22). Men forget most. ScienceDaily. Retrieved August 11, 2025, from https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/01/140122112624.htm Another study found that men also perform less than women in tasks involving digits, alphabet, dates, and rapid naming tasks.[5]Suman, O., Rajeev, H., Vishak, S.P., Aromal, M.S. & Wangmo, P. (2024). A Study on Correlation Between Memory and Gender. International Journal of Indian Psychology
Thus, if your man put in the effort to remember your birthday, he definitely is up to something more.
6. He is super-relaxed around you
A man who loves you enough to want to marry you does not see a need to act too cautiously around you. This is because he want you to know and love him for who he truly is.
7. He talks about having kids
In 2014, a study carried out in the United States showed that 31% of women who had an abortion were living with an unmarried partner. Around 46% were with a man who is not married to them and they are not living together.[6]Guttmacher Institute. (2016, May 10). Distribution of women in the U.S. who obtained an abortion in 2014, by relationship status [Graph]. Statista. Retrieved August 11, 2025, from … Continue reading
In general, majority of such abortions were due to the man’s unpreparedness for marriage and childbearing even though they have been together.[7]Ayamolowo, L.B., Ayamolowo, S.J., Adelakun, D.O. et al. Factors influencing unintended pregnancy and abortion among unmarried young people in Nigeria: a scoping review. BMC Public Health Thus, a man who enthusiastically talks about having kids with you must be giving you a bold-banner sign that he wants to marry you.
8. You are free around him
In addition to acting freely around you, a man who wants to marry you also makes you act freely around you without fear of judgment or criticism. On the other hand, if he doesn’t want to be with you, he acts in a manner that screams “I am not interested”. You can’t miss it unless you try so hard to ignore.
9. He is interested in building the relationship
A man who is interested in a relationship prioritizes the future of that relationship over short-term benefits or outcomes. If he tries to learn more and help you develop your interests, hobbies, and passions, that’s a sign he genuinely care about you. In addition to these act of genuine care, if he adds romance to the picture, that’s a clear sign he wants to marry you.
10. He is happy to meet your family
For men, generally, meeting one’s family is a sign that they are ready to commit to the relationship and get married sooner or later. If he avoids any opportunity to meet your family, he is not ready or interested in marrying you, but if he is happy to meet your people, it has gotten to the point when he is unable to hide is interests in you anymore.
11. His friends know you
In addition to knowing his family, a man who wants to marry you talks about you to his friends. He readily introduces you to them when you meet them for the first time.
12. He talks about getting married
If your man starts asking you questions about when you’d like to get married, or talks about other people’s weddings excitedly, that is a sign that he might have been fantaszing about marriage/wedding with you too.
13. He has a definite time to get married
This not only answers the question of if he wants to marry you but also about if he is ready to do so. A man who wants to and is ready to marry you easily shares when he wants to get married, and from the way he says it, you can feel yourself being in the picture.
14. Your opinions matter
When thinking about a decision, if he frequently asks for your opinion first, it means he sees you as an integral part of his life now and in the future. For example, he consults you about buying something or going somewhere, and takes your opinions seriously.
15. He is there for you
When someone is there for you, it means you can confide in them or feel supported when in distress. If your man fits this description, you can comfortably say he likes you genuinely. If he expresses romance to you, it means he may have plans to marry you sooner or later.
16. He doesn’t talk about another girl around you
When a man likes you, he tries not to ruin the relationship he shares with you but if he talks about another girl, it is an indication that he wants you to know that his heart is not fully invested in the relationship he shares with you. Maybe just friends or friends with benefits, but he definitely does not see himself getting married to you.
17. He doesn’t back down easily
When someone is not serious about a relationship, they flee at the sight of any challenges or conflict. However, when you notice that your man does not have any interest to cut ties with you for any reason so far, that’s a clear sign that he wants to be with you and make things work.
18. The connection gets stronger and stronger
If you notice that the connection you share with him gets stronger by the day, it is a reflection of the commitment you both have invested into the relationship. If you are the only committed person in the relationship, there is no way the connection you share would feel stronger, rather it would gradually deteriorate.
19. He wants to know more about you
If you still find him curious about you even after getting to know a bit about you, it means he is not getting tired of knowing you. This is another clear sign that he wants to marry you or seriously considers you a great part of his life.
20. He keeps to your time
A man who loves you enough to want to mary you would do his possible best to keep to the time you both agree upon. He doesn’t like to disappoint you, and if for any reason he won’t be able to make it, he would inform you beforehand. This shows how important he sees you.
21. He effortlessly prioritizes you
When faced with conflicting decisions, does he effortlessly put you first? If he does, this is another clear sign that he plans to settle down with you. For example, does he something say something like “My girlfriend is around. I won’t be able to make it today”? If so, you can tell how important you are to him.
A man who wants to marry you sees you as part of himself, which is why he does not hesitate to share any of his stuff with you when he needs to do so. If your man does not monitor how you use his things or does not restrict how you use them, he definitely has a heart big enough for both of you.
23. He can’t get enough of you
A man who is attracted to you probably sees something he likes about you, but a man who wants to marry you constantly sees something fascinating about you not matter how much time you have known each other. This is because he is always interested in learning something new or connecting deeper with you.
24. He is comfortable with you moving in
Asking a man who is not ready for commitment that you want to move in with him can trigger his warning alarms because he sees that as a sign of commitment. But a man who loves you and want to get married to you sooner or later openly welcomes the idea of moving in with him, if you have to.
25. You get his full attention
Recall the point that a man who wants to marry you does not talk about another woman around you This is because he is still searching for who to marry. He makes it clear to you that you got his full attention, and that his heart may have been strung with you in a rather interesting way.
26. He often finds it hard to leave you
For example, he came visiting you and it’s time to leave, does he hesitate to leave? He might get up to leave and shortly come back to you to finish any pending conversations you may be having. A man who wants to marry you is unusually fond of you and always want to be around you.
27. He likes to visit you often
If he likes to visit you often even for just some conversations, he likely sees you as part of his life. This, especially in combination with other signs, is another clear sign that he has plans to marry you.
28. He sometimes acts like your husband
How you know a man who wants to be your husband is by observing his behavior towards you even before getting married to him. Does he act protective, respectful, understanding, willing to help, or sometimes call you his Mrs? These are clear indications that he wants to marry you sooner or later.
29. He talks about the future with you in it
Every thoughtful man has future plans and can talk about them when necessary. If he mentions you or indirectly refers to you when talking about his future, he might be hinting that he sees you in it and would like to marry you.
30. He is interested in your future plans
A man who is interested in you will also be interested in your future plans. He is interested in learning about your future because he wants to see how to align them with his and see that you both achieve your goals.
31. He sometimes uses “We” in his words
When talking with friends about his plans and decisions, he sometimes uses “we”. For example, when his friends asks him when he would be spending his summer vacation, he replies using statements like “We are thinking of going to Paris this summer”, or “We haven’t exactly decided yet”.
32. He takes you along when meeting his married friends
When all his friends begins to get married, he suddenly feels more pressure to take a woman home too. And one clear sign that he is starting to consider you as the special one is that hs takes you along when going to meet his married friends, making him feel like a part of the couples’ date.
33. He talks about living together
If he is starting to ask you about living together, your preferred lifestyle, ownership of pets, hobbies, and desired place of residence, it means that he might be seriously thinking about a getting married to you soonest.
34. He trusts you with his properties
We may have already mentioned this before but here is a slight addition. If he entrusts his properties to your care, it means he believes that you would take good care of them. If you are going to be the mother of his children and the home, he knows he has to start learning to entrust his home to your care.
35. He like to meet your kid(s) if you are a single mom
When a man wants to marry you, he is not deterred by the fact that you are a single mom. He is more concerned about how his child(ren) would accept you than how their presence could deter him from getting closer to you.
Why These Signs Are Not Fool-Proof
The above signs that a man wants to marry you are clear enough but they are not fool-proof. A man can pretend to care even if he is only there for the benefits and nothing more.
On the flip-side, some men can genuinely care about you even when they do not see themselves getting married to you. It is possible that they are naturally nice to other people and wants them to feel at home as much as possible.
To be exactly sure if a man wants to marry you, it is best to confront the questions head-on by asking him what you are to him in the relationship. This way, you can get a better understanding of what he thinks and wants from the relationship.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I know if he is pretending or being serious?
While the above clear signs can point to whether he wants to marry you or not, they can often be misleading. The best way to know if he is serious about his intention to marry you is if his actions match his words, and vice versa.
How long does it take a man to know if he wants to marry me?
There is no specific time it takes a man to be sure he wants to marry you. While some might know the very instant they meet you, it might take others a considerably longer time. It all depends on his frame of mind and what the short-term goals he plans to achieve before getting married.
Why is my man not proposing yet?
There are several reasons why your man who loves you may seems too slow to propose. These include reasons like psychological, emotional, or financial unpreparedness before getting married. A man who is pursuing certain goals may not be highly invested in getting married any time soon.
What do I do if I don't want to marry him?
If you see that he has plans to marry you but you don't like him, you should open up to him about how you feel about the relationship. Telling him early enough will help him adjust his expectations in the relationship, so you don't hurt him unnecessarily.
Does using "us" and "we" mean he wants to marry me?
Using the words "we" and "us" typically convey a sense of togetherness. And of course, coming from your man can be a strong indication that he is interested in a long-term commitment or marriage.
Final words
A man who wants to marry would demonstrate some signs, some of which have been discussed above. While these are not fool-proof, they can be an indication whether he wants to marry you or not. The best way to confirm is by engaging in a serious conversation asking him what he wants from the relationship.
If you liked this post or have some comments about any points you saw, let me hear from you in the comment section below.
References
| ↑1 | Lavner JA, Karney BR, Bradbury TN. Do cold feet warn of trouble ahead? Premarital uncertainty and four-year marital outcomes. J Fam Psychol. 2012 Dec;26(6):1012-7. doi: 10.1037/a0029912. Epub 2012 Sep 3. PMID: 22946462; PMCID: PMC3525794. |
|---|---|
| ↑2 | Ismail, R. (2025, July 7). Why women are more keen on getting married. The Citizen. Mwananchi Communications Limited. Retrieved from https://www.thecitizen.co.tz/tanzania/magazines/woman/why-women-are-more-keen-on-getting-married-3800098 |
| ↑3 | Stanley, S. M. (2019). What is it with men and commitment, anyway? (Working paper). University of Denver. Retrieved August 9, 2025, from https://app.box.com/s/1zketqdii1ccnqb5vlf9 |
| ↑4 | Norwegian University of Science and Technology. (2014, January 22). Men forget most. ScienceDaily. Retrieved August 11, 2025, from https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/01/140122112624.htm |
| ↑5 | Suman, O., Rajeev, H., Vishak, S.P., Aromal, M.S. & Wangmo, P. (2024). A Study on Correlation Between Memory and Gender. International Journal of Indian Psychology |
| ↑6 | Guttmacher Institute. (2016, May 10). Distribution of women in the U.S. who obtained an abortion in 2014, by relationship status [Graph]. Statista. Retrieved August 11, 2025, from https://www.statista.com/statistics/656516/abortion-distribution-united-states-by-relationship-status/ |
| ↑7 | Ayamolowo, L.B., Ayamolowo, S.J., Adelakun, D.O. et al. Factors influencing unintended pregnancy and abortion among unmarried young people in Nigeria: a scoping review. BMC Public Health |
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