Why you always lose the bet
Everyone wants to feel accepted, everyone wants to feel loved, but only a few people actually draw the attention of others around them. The ability to attract people like a magnet is like a super-power. When you can draw attention to yourself, you are indeed a super-hero. But this does not come without some work. Unlike in the movies, you do no require some alien form or abilities to express a super-magnetic personality. However, the problem lies in the fact that many things stand in our way of attaining a super-magnetic personality.
In my own experiences, I consider myself an attractive young man, especially to the ladies. Yeah, I sure need to brag a little. Well, maybe I am being delusional about an attribute I do not possess, or maybe I’m just being pompous over a well-deserved attractiveness. But in any case, I am honest enough to tell you that I’ve heard my own share of rejections too. And frankly, that is not something you’d ever wish for.
Each time I was looked down upon with disdain and outright rejection in the past, I often ask myself one question; why am I being rejected? I find quite a couple of useful answers to my pressing question, but one thing I reassured myself was that even though I strive to master myself better and improve on my personality, my friends would accept me the way I am.
This later statement, about friends that would accept you the way you are, also happens to be one of the best ways to secure the super-magnetic personality as you would soon find out.
Factors That Influences Your Power of Attraction/Magnetic Personality
- Self-love: The first step in attaining your super-magnetic personality is loving who you are and who you are becoming. If people are going to become attracted to you, they must first see that you are worth it. In other words, you must know your worth and live your life with that recognition. You necessarily don’t have to change to another person to become magnetic. That is where the point of being authentic comes into place. When you love yourself and who you are becoming, you are more confident and these two things combined; loving yourself and confidence, makes people love you and associate with you.
- Self-discovery: So many times, people do not show confidence because they are uncertain about their life in general. They still go with the wind and follow whichever direction it leads. Self-confidence as it closely relates to self-discovery is still the keyword here. When you have discovered your true identity and personality, you are confident and people become more attracted to you.
- Power: When you are powerful, everyone becomes your friend. This is very true and practical even in reality. But you don’t necessarily have to be the world’s president or the richest man to be powerful. Power is only a synonym for ‘influence’ and what this means is your ability to influence people around you. Your charisma, acts of kindness and humility can make you more powerful than you’d ever imagine you can ever be.
- Value: People are not as selfless as you may have thought. They want to derive some value from you. The more value you can provide, the more they will gravitate towards your direction. But when you talk of value, so many things may cross your mind, like money(as in monetary value), etc. However, you can also provide value through your sense of humour and entertainment, your willingness to offer advice and contributions(mentorship), motivation and spreading hope, being ready to assist, or in some other ways.
What Makes a Person So Magnetic To Other People
I have met countless people at my workplace recently, including the elderly, young children, adolescents of either sex. And I noticed that I now easily connect with them. After a few interactions, they just want to be with me, talk with me, they would even drive down just to see me for a discussion. But that resonated a signal in my head that I know some people who have this kind of presence you’d just love to associate with. However, the pressing question is, what makes these magnetic people so attractive and fun to be with?
Before now, I know I was always a nice and peaceful guy but that also attracted some level of rivalry and oppression too. As a matter of fact, no matter how good you are, not everyone will still like you. But beyond the oppressions, I sought to find out how to make even my enemies like me or better put, not to be confident enough to show their hatred anymore.
Securing the super-magnetic personality is not something new and extraneous. The power to be super-magnetic is already hardwired into you, you just have to let it out. However, one important thing to note here is that people are attracted to those they feel are powerful. Let me save this here for later as we explore together some attributes that make people super-magnetic:
- They are authentic
- They are empathic
- They know how to smile
- They are confident
- They know how to engage in a conversation
- They ignore subtle errors
- They are energetic
- They are motivational
- Magnetic people are eloquent
- They are active listeners
- They are very knowledgeable
- They have a positive outlook
- They are creative
- They have a sense of humour
Magnetic People are Authentic
Sometimes, to show that you are authentic, you have to show all your colours and then flag one-off as most dominant. Don’t worry, I will explain what colour and flag mean if you do not already know them. When you are always nice, people take it for granted. They assume that you are faking it, always nice? How can someone be so nice? They must be pretending.
The authenticity of who you are will make people more attracted to you because they feel they already know you, there is this sense of familiarity that you are open enough to accommodate them. So they draw closer and closer even without knowing. So what you need to do is to define who you are, make them know that whatever you do is genuine.
However, you must realize that people would not naturally be drawn to ill-mannered or disrespectful behaviours. Thus, you need to modify any of such and genuinely display your kindness. It takes time to work out buy in the end, it is worth the efforts.
Magnetic People are Empathic
Empathy is the ability to perceive other people’s feelings and treat them as though you feel them too. It is not easy to be emphatic, I must affirm. Because sometimes, you want to measure up your strength and resilience to those of some other persons. And you sometimes get angry at them for behaving so weakly. Your expectations for people may be based on your high ones, whereas, they may not be as strong as you are.
Empathy is one hidden feeling but it is one attribute that people naturally sense at first sight. At first contact, you can quickly pick up who is empathic and who is not. And since empathy is not such a hidden attribute, after all, its presence confers almost immediate magnetism.
Magnetic People Know How To Smile
Want to be magnetic to babies, women, elderly people, everyone? Smile more often. Smiles are social signals for the flow of positive internal energies. In other words, smiles connote happiness and internal joy. But beyond how you feel about smiling, they also signify to other people that you approve of their company, or you are at peace with them.
A warm smile while staring is like a powerful magnet that automatically draws people to you. If you keep a cheerful personality, people become attracted to you. But if you are always gloomy, never showing joy and happiness, they tend to stay away from you.
However, keeping a happy countenance at all time requires that you have peace within your mind, even when the situation of things are not physically in your favour. What this means is that you must make your mind to be at peace, be happy with who and what you are and becoming, be confident about your being and easily forgive yourself when you make mistakes. That way, the happiness within you will always reflect as quick smiles on your happy face.
Magnetic People are Confident
Can you recall when I mentioned that people are drawn to confident people? Developing your confidence is key to attracting the attention of people. When you are confident about what you do, other people around you get the belief that you know much about what you do, and they are more inclined to follow who knows what they do.
Like the other attributes above, confidence is generally always visible. A small display of lack of confidence is easily picked by observers, because it reflects in the way you speak, handle things, move, and even the way you look at them.
Sometimes, you can be confident inside without showing it. I have experienced this countless times. Deep down, you are confident about what you are doing but for some reason, you just want to maintain simplicity and some form of gentility. But as a matter of fact, you should show your full confidence than pretend to be modest because you don’t want to be seen as proud and a social butterfly.
Personality types also make some people behave differently from others, while some are reserved and introverted, others are extroverted.
Magnetic People Know How to Engage in a Conversation
Your ability to easily engage in conversations is very instrumental to the development of the super-magnetic personality. This ability involves turning seemingly meaningless, vague or even unpleasant words into great conversations. In the case of turning unpleasant words into conversations, it refers to the ability to tolerate them and make something good out of them. When people see that you are so expectant for perfectness, that is, you do not account for each and every one of their possible wrongdoings, they are more likely to draw closer to you because they know that they will be free around you.
How do people know you will be welcoming enough to let them come into your space? It’s simple. They observe the way you handle conversations with other people from a distance, then they either come closer or go farther away.
Magnetic People Know How To Ignore Subtle Errors
I have talked a lot about tolerability in the previous point, but I have to say a little more about it here again. It does not mean that you have to be full-proof immune to all wrongs before you become super magnetic to people, but one thing that is common with many people with a super-magnetic personality is their ability to ignore subtle errors. They are easy-going and would not place so many requirements on you for being in their space.
Magnetic People are Energetic
Most of the highly magnetic people I have met have the ability to turn dull moments into exciting ones. The energy is so palpable that it can lighten the mood of a moody person. They talk cheerfully, make gestures, mock things and other people’s actions just to make you laugh. No one wants to be unhappy, so every opportunity with such an energetic person is a big deal.
Magnetic People are Motivational
Individuals who have a magnetic personality attract attention and can motivate others as well. If you are a magnetic person, you will be able to motivate those around you to meet your own expectations. You should learn how you can use your charisma and charm to inspire those around you.
Magnetic People are Eloquent
You know someone who has a magnetic personality, you notice that they are very expressive and eloquent when they speak. Their voice commands some level of authority, and if you never knew them, you could start thinking, is he/she the boss here?
Being eloquent is about adding composure to the way you speak. You need to be confident of what you speak and to add some action to your spoken words. When your words carry actions every time, people feel how confident you are and they become more attracted to you.
Magnetic People are Active Listeners
If you want to increase your magnetism, you must learn how to listen attentively to what others are saying. Of course, people are going to be naturally fond of anyone that takes time out of their day to listen to their ambitions, ideas, and concerns. When you are talking/interacting with someone, make sure that you are making eye contact with them and repeat what they have just said in your head. Avoid letting anything else distract you from the conversation.
Magnetic People are Very Knowledgeable
When you lack information about a topic, you are naturally mute when it is being discussed. But people will be more attracted to the knowledgeable person because they too want to learn.
If you truly want to be magnetic, you must invest some time in building your knowledge about important things in the world, from politics to entertainment, to business and technology so that you can take an active role in discussions. Your knowledge-base should be as wide as possible, such that you have something to say irrespective of the topic of discussion.
Magnetic People have a Positive Outlook
When you have a positive outlook of things, you are optimistic and hopeful, people will naturally draw closer. Most people just need someone to encourage them to keep going. Sometimes these people are frustrated with life in general and other specific things related to work, unmet expectations, poor results and failing relationships, and what they need right now is someone will stir up their fire and not extinguish the little one left. I’d say it again when you have a positive outlook of things, that is, you always want to look at the bright side of things no matter how awful the experience is, you become a very strong magnetic point of attraction.
Magnetic People are Creative
One great way to become super-magnetic is by enhancing your power of creativity. Creativity make you stay fresh, it makes you always up to date because it is the ability to make new things either of nothing or from old less valued things. Creativity intrigues people, they are forced to wonder, “how did he do that?”. This feeling of bewilderment makes them draw closer to you, some times to learn from you and other times, just to enjoy your objects of creativity.
Magnetic People have a Sense of Humour
I have hardly seen anyone who hates to laugh, even when they complain that their ribs hurt when they do. Laughter and smiles relax the mind and momentarily calm the burning nerves. When you make people laugh, you become the pill they need to keep calm, to stay happy and free from worries.
If you really want to draw people to yourself, you need to have a good sense of humour. You don’t necessarily need to be a comedian before you make them laugh, you just need to be able to be as funny as you could ever be. There is great humour in things around you, in business, politics and life in general.
These are some attributes that could make you super-magnetic, however, this list is not exhaustive. To secret of being attractive and magnetic is based on several factors. An understanding of these factors is central to the ability to attract people to yourself. Let’s begin to explore these factors in the next section.
Benefits of Having a Super-magnetic Personality
Having a magnetic personality has the following benefits. In this section, I am going to categorize the benefits of having a magnetic personality in sections as follows;
- Business
- Self-satisfaction
- Fame and popularity
- Opportunity
- Political advantage
- Lack of boredom
Business
In areas of business, having a magnetic personality is especially important as it gives you a fair advantage over your competition. Have you ever wanted to patronize someone simply because they make you feel happy whenever you are with them? That is how the magnetic personality can turn your first contact with your customers into encounters that makes them always want to come back to you.
Self Satisfaction
You may not realize this but the act of making impacts is one of the most interesting vocation ever. An impact can be made in different ways, but no matter which way the impact was made, there is this common feeling of inner joy and ecstasy when you remember that lives are touched by you. You may not have contributed so greatly to the world in general, but when you think about your little contribution to people within your immediate vicinity, you derive this sense of self-satisfaction.
Fame and Popularity
Come on, there are fame and popularity in being magnetic. Many times, people just find it hard to forget little detail about you after meeting you. They could remember how you look, what you shared with them and even your name. And you are wondering why they didn’t forget all those. Having a magnetic personality confers and popularity on you. It may not be global or international popularity but you are well-known in your local environment.
You know what that means? If you continue that way, what you need to be famous and popular globally is just one contact with the world out there.
Opportunity
Opportunities come in different ways. Having a magnetic personality makes it easy for you to be spotted in the crowd. Most managers and business owners prefer someone who can carry everyone else along in their stead. So, merely seeing how much you attract people to yourself gives the strong indicates that you are highly needed.
Various other opportunities present themselves when you are socially visible and these could range from political, to marital, or for partnership.
Political Advantage
You see politicians winning their way into their hearts of people, right? Persuasion has remained one important skill required in politics and leadership in the new world today. You now see where the magnetic personality comes in, don’t you? When you have the personality that originally attracts people to you, it becomes an advantage to you over your opponents. Thus, the magnetic personality is also important in politics and even other forms of leadership and influence.
Lack of Boredom
People with magnetic personality also enjoy their own share of cheerfulness. As a matter of fact, having people around you is enough to keep you out of boredom, so much that it becomes a two-way thing. They enjoy your company, you also enjoy their company and everyone bids farewell to boredom, depression and loneliness.
After all those benefits have been talked about, it is important to view the other side of things too, isn’t it? There are times you would desire to be attractive and magnetic but you just end up becoming a laughing stock. Have you experienced that? Me too.
However, it is good that we see what happens when we don’t get the magnetic personality or at least not yet. What do you do when you try to be jovial, cheerful, and all of those points I already mentioned above but you still remain just the same way, or even more repulsive to people? Let me talk a little about that now.
There are days I felt marginalized and rejected, no one wanted to talk with me. For some reasons, I was not receiving the attention I was supposed to receive, but in times like this what do you do?
What To Do When You Are Not Magnetic Even After Trying
There is the tendency to revolt or resort to some forceful means to gain your ‘social relevance’ back. But if you follow these tendencies, you will end up losing the little respect you have left. Here are some things you should do when you find yourself in this situation:
- Try not to react jealously
- Look inside you for what you are lacking
- Learn from those who are already magnetic
- Give it time to wait for results
- Change your environment and/or company
Try Not to React Jealously
Like I have said earlier, there is the tendency to resort to force and power to establish your authority, however, when you feel like you are not magnetic enough or someone more magnetic has suddenly shown up from the blues to take away your shine, always reassure yourself that you are still special. Do not let anything of such steal away your joy or increase your propensity to do something rash.
It is important to note that for natural reasons, people don’t always stay in positions of power and influence. There are ups and there are downs but when the downtimes come, simply hold yourself together and look forward to the ups that lie just ahead.
Look Inside You For What You Are Lacking
One thing I noticed from careful observations of why people move away from you is that they do so because there is a message they want to convey to you. Truth be told, you do not always have to play by the rules of people but most of the time, the signals of information passed by the attitude of people can be greatly instrumental to self-development.
Learn From Those Who Are Already Magnetic
One interesting truth about life, in general, is that someone already does what you are still learning to be good at, someone already hones the abilities you daily covet. One secret in life is, when you learn directly from other people’s experiences, you learn faster what took them donkey years to master.
One easy way to become magnetic is by studying people who already hone the super-magnetic ability.
Give it Time to Wait for Results
No great thing happen overnight. And even more particularly, changing from a practically no-influential personality to a super-magnetic one would require some time for people to adapt to. Even the funniest humour would seem so dry coming from someone everyone already knows to be non-social. So as much as it takes time to build a new personality, it also takes time for people out there to adapt to you.
Change Your Environment and/or Company
No matter what, you can’t keep everyone in your company. Some people may have to be allowed to leave, or you should deliberately let some go. A change of environment and company is required at every stage of life, and for the development of a super-magnetic personality.
Another reason why a change of environment is key to developing this magnetic personality is if you are not creative or creative enough, your best gestures and speeches become stale to the people who have previously seen you do them. In these cases, if you cannot quickly bounce back to your attractive form in your current environment or company, a change would be necessary. You need to have a change of friends because there are people who would still laugh at your worst jokes or comment on your dumbest statements, thus, drawing closer to you for even smaller things.
I hope that with all these you should be able to develop a super-magnetic personality and enjoy its benefits in any area you are interested in. Have an amazing day and please, leave some comments below.
