We often talk about red flags in a relationship and how to identify and handle them in relationship, but there is often an air of silence over what the green flags are. Today, we will break the silence and talk about some green flags to look out for in a new relationship.
I suppose you are not new to the word “Green flags”. In this post, you will better understand what green flags are and how you can identify them in your partner.
While the presence of a green flag does not necessarily mean there will be no issues in the relationship, their absence does not also mean that it can never work between you two. However, it is important to look out for them as much as you’d be looking for the red flags as well.
What are green flags in a relationship?
Relationship green flags are signs of a healthy, productive, and understanding behaviour in a partner which is necessary for a blissful relationship and eventually marriage. It indicates a sign to consider moving ahead with that partner in the relationship.
Generally, green flags are derived from the traffic lights to signal an instruction to move. Yellow signs means wait for a while. This is when you need to put several factors into consideration or make an attempt to communicate the problem. While red flags means stop.
If you are by any chance thinking about getting committed with your new partner, seeing these green flags should commit you to making a move to the next level with your partner.
How to identify green flags
Identifying green flags should be a natural part of the process of getting to know your new partner. It is simply by naturally obsesrving and understanding your partner.
Entering a new relationship is not the time to pretend to be something you are not. It is a time to be as open as possible. When you are open, your partner gets to understand you for who you are and possibly love you if they find your personality attractive still. But more importantly, being open makes them comfortable enough to express themselves to you without feigning it as well.
To identify green flags in a relationship, study what your partner does or says, how they behave towards you and other people, and how they treat you in the relationship.
Also raise discussion topics in specific areas like life goals, decision-making, ideologies, tolerance and conflict resolution, as well as money mindset. There is a lot you can pick up about your partner when you engage him/her in discussions.
Green flags to look out for when dating
Seeing these green flags in your relationship partner is a sign that you have a blissful and prosperous relationship ahead of you. Here are some green flags to look out for in your relationship.
1. Openness in listening and communication
You need a partner who is open enough to communicate and listen to you. Being open and natural is an important trait in finding someone who you are compatible with.
Finding someone who is not ashamed or too scared to communicate their feelings and experiences with you is a big flex when it comes to finding a partner. This is why you must prioritize openness and genuineness over many other things in the relationship.
You don’t want someone who says something they are not, or say one thing now and then changes it the next second. This is something you can easily observe as you get to know each other more closely.
2. Honesty
Honesty is another green flag to look out for in your new relationship. This is about finding someone who is honest about the relationship and feelings for you.
Oftentimes, you meet someone who is only superficially attracted to you. They just like to be with you or get intimately close to you but not for anything more. This means that they do not truly like you enough. You should look out for someone who is willing to express their love to you.
Also, honesty also covers such other things as truthfulness and openness concerning questions you may have in the relationship. Avoid someone who is dishonest about everything relating to him/her.
3. Humility
Finding a partner who is humble and submissive to you is a big green flag you must never miss out on. A relationship is supposed to be between two “equal” partners, and no matter how big your partner is, they have to be submissive and humble if they really respect you.
Being haughty and manipulative is a red flag you must never overlook but humility to you in the relationship is a green flag you must be on the look out for.
4. Politeness and respect
These are a very important green flag in a relationship because they point to the presence of other important positive traits in your partner. Being polite and respectful is a sign that the person is mature, understanding, humble, and courteous.
A person who is polite would consider your feelings and emotions into anything they do, particularly when the action is going to be associated with you. A respectful person will also recognize and regard your boundaries, and when they accidentally cross the line, he/she knows how to adjust accordingly.
Not only politeness and respect indicates maturity but they also show that the person truly values you. Hence, this is a green flag you should look out for.
5. Healthy outlook towards the relationship
The most important reason why you are in the relationship is to find a life partner. That means in addition to finding someone who is physically and emotionally mature, you also wants someone who is ready to commit to this journey with you.
How does he/she talk about your future together? Does he seem optimistic about spending his entire life with you? Does she talk about having children and living you you?
Finding someone who has a healthy outlook for the relationship is one of the first green flags to look out for before you fully commit to the relationship. You don’t want someone who does not have a clear vision about the relationship with you.
If someone have you in mind in the relationship, they work hard to take the right steps forward. Buying you promise rings and celebrating you with milestone gifts are some ways they let you know that they want you in their life perpectually.
6. Empathy and interest in your feelings
Narcissistic people don’t care about your feelings, and this attribute is one of the major red flags in many relationships. In a world where you find many selfish and unempathic people, finding someone who has empathy and also loves you is a green flag to move ahead with him/her in the relationship.
Empathy is a great attribute for a harmonious interpersonal relationship. This guarantees that you will be with someone who acknowledges your feelings and modifies their current actions to align with them, instead of being unconcerned or selfish.
7. Patience
Sometimes, you meet people who are in a rush to be with you. They want everything to happen very fast and is ready to do all it takes to make you consent to that. While this looks like a sign of commitment, it might be a red flag in disguise.
Being in a rush to settle down with you could indicate immaturity, or genuine unreadiness for marriage or relationship. Someone who knows what commitment entails will patiently test the waters before jumping right in.
Being patient means they are willing to wait for you to take your decision without mounting unneccessary pressure on you. It also means they do not allow themselves to be carried away from something, say beauty, money, or attractiveness, but that the individual is ready to discipline himself/herself to follow the natural order of gradually winning your trust.
8. Self-certainty and confidence
This is about finding somene who is sure of what they want. They have a clear direction of what they want and expect from life, and they make futuristic plans to achieve their goals.
Being with somene who does not have a clear plan towards their future is going to wear you down significantly as it can add an extra unneccessary burden to you instead of helping relieve you.
You can know someone who is certain and confident about his/her life from the firmness in their decisions, assertiveness towards life, and focus in what they do. These people consider the future outcome of every action before they take it.
9. Being expressive with their love
When someone truly loves you, they get expressive with their love. They are unable to hide how they feel towards you. They jump on you with hugs and kisses with every little opportunity they have.
Expressing love can be difficult for most people, but when someone loves you, he/she does not regret what they spend on you as long as it makes you happy. Being expressive with love can involve small gestures like prioritizing spending quality time with you, or buying simple everyday jewelry for you. It all comes very freely and easily.
Some people describe this as being romantic, and love can be shown in the very little things we often take for granted. Being is expressive with you is a green flag sign that they really care about you.
10. Similarity in core values
There are things you can change and there are things you cannot change. Finding someone who shares core values with you is a major green flag to look out for.
Core values reflect a person deepest ideologies about different aspects of life. They are the best defining elements of compatibility in any relationship. This is because they are not easily changeable, and thus, offer a more lasting connection and compatibility even after years into the relationship or marriage.
11. Fun and enjoyable
Not everyone will make you happy and fun-filled but when you find someone you are comfortable with, even their weirdest gestures or remarks can make you smile. This means more than just having a sense a humour. It is about exuding vibes that resonates at your frequency. That’s a deep emotional connection.
Being with someone whose energy and vibe matches yours will bring happiness to you all your days together as a couple, which is why this is an important green flag to look out for.
Decide what to do when green flags occur with red flags
Sometimes, green flags can occur alongside red flags. No one is perfect and we all have our shortcomings. But deciding what to do when that occurs can be quite challenging. Do you leave because of the red flags or stay because of the green flags?
This is when you need to be very honest with yourself. What are your own priority preferences? Rank them in order, and see what position the green flags and red flags occupy. If the green flags supercedes the red flags, you can consider the red flags as yellow flags, which are things you can work on to change with time. Otherwise, drop the mic and take a bow.
Common red flags most people take as green flags
Not all green flags are indeed green. Some of them are actually red flags in disguise. Failure to identify these red flags can make you enter a relationship thinking they are green flags. These include the following:
- Already planning marriage on the first date. This is too much rush and it’s an act of immaturity because they don’t know you enough to make any conclusions.
- They say “I love you” too fast. Saying “I love you” is something you should say to someone ready to say it back to you. Saying “I love you” within a week or one month is “love-bombing” because that is often not enough to make someone say it back to you.
- Rushing to introduce you to their friends and family very early in the relationship. It mounts unneccessary pressure on you.
- Wanting to spend every time with you at the detriment of other important things. They must be idle and stupidly in love. You don’t want to receive love mixed up with stupidity except if you don’t really love that person.
Final words
Green flags are the good signs you should look out for in a relationship. They are signs that your partner is both mature and emotionally ready to be in a committed relationship with you.
In identifying green flags, care must be take to not mistaken those inconspicuous red flags as green flags, as listed above.
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