We all talk about the red flags in relationships but little do we know about the dating green flags one should look out for in a relationship. We spend a lot of time either trying to avoid some dating red flags or ignoring them when we see them. Either way, how about we focus less on the red flags for a moment, and focus more on the dating green flags to look out for in your potential partner?
You might already be speculating what a green flag in a relationship might mean. Let’s quickly see that in the next section.
What are dating green flags?
The term “green flag” seems to have popped up recently and then suddenly flooded everywhere. You may have heard of it on social media but if you haven’t, a green flag is the opposite of a red flag. Conventionally, while dating red flags refer to things that prompt you to stop and change course, dating green flags are those things, attributes, or characters that should make you want to be more around that person.
Relationship green flags are important qualities that most people should look out for before they make their dating decisions, but they end up focusing more on the red flags. The implication of this is that we miss out on the people they should never have let go in the first place, not because they had a red flag but because we didn’t see their green flags.
Green flags to look out for in a relationship
Dating green flags generally portray signs of a blissful and prosperous relationship ahead of you. Hence, we need to pay more attention to them. Here are some green flag signs to look out for in your next consideration of a partner.
1. Talking about the future in a healthy way
There is one thing to be with someone, there is another thing to see a future with them. One important dating green flag to look out for is when they talk about a future with you in a very healthy way.
Buying promise rings after a few months of dating is a great idea. You have had several dates together and they feel it’s time to move forward. This is a green flag that they are truly invested in you. Don’t take this green flag lightly because you don’t want someone who has no vision about your future together, and neither do you want someone who is too fast without observing emotional boundaries. But you definitely want someone who understands time, and emotional boundaries and is ready to take the right steps in the forward direction when it is time to do so.
2. Listening and communicating well
Listening is not only a skill, it is an ability. Cultivating mutual listening-ability between you and your partner would automatically half the number of issues you may encounter throughout your relationship with them.
Listening and communication are an area where a strict balance has to be kept. You want someone who would communicate what they are feeling, the current state, and where they see the relationship going, as well as being willing to actively listen to you when you also share your assessments about the relationship with them.
3. Honesty
If being dishonest is a red flag, what is being honest described as? This is a green flag that many people do not even consider before making dating decisions but it’s time we all prioritize honesty and avoid the less-than-truthy things we like to hear just because they sound more convincing.
Being lied to sucks. No one likes it. You want someone who’s not only going to tell you the truth in general and be honest about their feelings towards you and the relationship.
4. Humility
Humility is required from both partners in every relationship. To have a good relationship, you need to be willing to make sacrifices, let go of pride, and relate with your partner as they are called–your partner. Humility can’t be feigned and a humble partner is not so hard to spot. They apologize when they need to do so, they put you first in everything they do, and they act in a way that suggests to you that you are partners indeed.
5. Politeness and Respect
These are another green flag to hold someone without letting them go out of your life. Politeness and respect are rare qualities these days. This is because many people only act politely and with respect when they think they might need some help from you, but you deserve to be with someone who respects everyone including those that they don’t think they might need any help from.
Respect is also about recognizing your boundaries and adjusting accordingly when they accidentally cross the line. Such accidents do happen occasionally, this does not mean they lack respect as long as they make amends quickly, but if such accidents occur routinely, they are probably no accidents anymore.
6. Having empathy and interest in your feelings
Empathy is the ability to see things from another person’s perspective. It reflects a genuine interest in one’s feelings and why people do the things they do. It manifests primarily in the way they listen to what you are saying, and how they look out for the things that make you happy or sad so as to always make you happy and fulfilled.
Arguments happen, they can even get heated up, and in fact, they can help partners understand each other better. However, this happens when you and your partner are more interested in each other than in winning the argument. That is where empathy and genuine interest in your feelings come to play.
7. Not being in a rush
Finding someone who is not in a rush is a green flag you should look out for. Many people do not want to follow the timeline of things. They want to get married in a hurry and do not care to understand the healthy timeline of a relationship. But when you find someone who is patient and not in a hurry, that’s a green flag you should not ignore. It doesn’t mean they don’t want to get married quickly, but they have learnt to discipline themselves to follow the natural order of things.
8. Someone who is sure of themselves
Let’s be clear about what we are saying and what we are not saying here. I am not saying you need someone who is a completely finished product and does not need to work on anything to improve themselves, but you want someone who knows what they are doing, who is responsible, displays competency, and have a clear vision of where they are going.
There’s a certain level of self-sufficiency and self-assuredness to look out for. You just know when you’re around a well-put-together person by how they carry themselves. Look for that green flag.
9. Showing love freely
There are plenty of ways to show love, it doesn’t have to be in any fixed pattern or method. But as flexible as it may sound, showing love can be extremely difficult for some people. This may be because they have not understood that showing love can be in very little things we often take for granted. Maybe they buy you small presents like simple everyday jewelry or prioritize spending time with you, before thinking they are not doing enough, consider the ways they are openly showing love to you as a green flag to never ignore.
10. Sharing similar value set
You may rightly argue that nobody is bad or uncontrollable. It just depends on the values you both share. Sharing a similar value set with you is one green flag you must always look out for in your partner because it determines how far you will go in your union eventually.
Sharing a similar value set does not mean you have to agree on everything. It simply means you have to agree on the big things, the core values that define who you both are. If you are looking down the road at marriage and having kids, those values might stand as insurmountable obstacles if you have wildly different values and are not open to talking about what you both fundamentally care about.
11. Fun and enjoyable to be with
Not everyone gives off the vibes that excite you. This makes you always want to be around them. One person’s energy might not give you the feel you enjoy but someone else might find them enjoyable. You need to be with someone whose energy matches yours and who is capable of giving you fun and enjoyable moments. And if they make you always excited to see them, that in itself is a green flag to listen to.
There are a million different things you can consider green flags. Some green flags are individualized, that is, what one may consider a green flag, may not be for another. These are fundamental green flags to look out for, but it is okay to define your green flags to align with your inner desires in a relationship.
There are many distractions when about to make a choice about who to date but as long as you put what matters most first, you will always be on the right track.
