Isn’t it funny how we all begin every new year the same way—big goals, high motivation, and a long list of New Year’s resolutions we’re convinced will finally stick this time? Then reality sets in fast. By January 15th, “daily workouts” turn into “thinking about workouts,” and “eating healthy” becomes “just one more craving.”
This cycle repeats every year, which is why taking New Year’s resolutions too seriously can feel exhausting. So, why not try something different this time? Instead of stressing over impossible goals, why not have a little fun to kickstart your year?
That’s where funny New Year resolutions come in. They’re honest, painfully relatable, and a great way to start your year with laughter instead of pressure. In this post, you’ll find 50 funny New Year’s resolutions designed to kickstart your year on a lighter, more realistic note.
And just to be clear, some of these resolutions are intentionally ironic and not meant to be taken as actual New Year goals. If you are here for the laughs, these funny New Year’s resolution memes are a reminder that starting the year doesn’t always have to be so serious.
1. Start Dieting… But Only After One More Bite
Because every serious diet somehow needs a “final” bite that never really feels final.
2. Do More Exercise This Year… So I Can Eat More Pizza
Because balancing workouts with pizza consumption is technically fitness.
3. Looking for Advice to Finally Succeed This Year
But it has to be from someone I trust.
4. Who Said I Can’t Have Negative Resolutions?
After all, you don’t always succeed at keeping them.
5. Make Resolutions I Can Actually Keep
Since it’s already a tradition.
6. Look For Better Options
Either way, the basket fits.
7. Set More Realistic Goals
Do something that comes naturally.
8. Get In A Serious Relationship
When it gets to the point of calling on God.
9. Make Time-bound Goals This Year
But time is not enough. So, carry them over to next year.
10. Finish What I Started Four Years Ago
Or better still, redefine it or push it to next year.
11. By Myself This Year
“New Year, new me,” but how has that helped me?
12. Keep Doing What I Do Best
Consistency is key!
13. Make Resolutions For January
Maybe we should stop calling them New Year’s resolutions.
14. Make New Year’s Resolutions, But For New Year’s Day Only
If the resolutions got to January 4th, I tried.
15. Be More Productive This Year… But Rest First
You deserve to rest from the previous year’s exhaustion.
16. Make The Exact Opposite of Last Year’s Resolutions
Because you achieved the exact opposite last year.
17. Be Kinder This Year… But Kindness Failed Me Last Year
It just feels like being wicked is more rewarding.
18. Do Greater Things This New Year
How about that?
19. Change Bad Habits But Keep Delicious Ones
But this one is bad but delicious.
20. Stop Late Night Meals
But some nights, I see 11:30 pm. I guess the clock knows best.
21. New Year, New Me!
Time to shed off the old skin and become a newer version of my awesome self.
22. New Year, Never Mind!
It doesn’t even get to February.
23. Learn New Things… But Life Teaches You What It Wants
Because life already has its curriculum.
24. Let Go of The Past
Because greater things are ahead.
25. Behind Every Disappointment is a Reason, But To Give Up
Because the higher the expectation, the bigger the disappointment.
26. Gain Something This Year
At least, it won’t be a surprise when you see it on the scale.
27. Spend Less Time Wearing Pants This Year
Because if the past few years taught us anything, productivity doesn’t always require pants.
28. This Year, Stop Worrying and Focus on Butts
Because sometimes the best way to reduce anxiety is by completely missing the point.
29. Why Make Resolutions When You Can Eat Cheese?
Because cheese has never let anyone down the way resolutions do.
30. Commit Fully to Finishing the Whole Pint
Because what is worth doing is worth doing well.
31. Spend More Time Doing What Matters: Netflix
Because what if binge-watching is also a part of personal growth?
32. Practice More Self-Care This Year
Because all I do is eat.
33. Reflect More on My Past
Because some of those resolutions are bigger than me.
34. Improve In The Very Small Things
Now, I feel like a superhero.
35. Enjoy Myself More This Year
Because it’s self-care, and life is too short to suffer when you can enjoy.
36. Read Every Book or Paper I Download
Or perhaps download fewer books this year.
37. Be So Food You Can Confuse Your Activity Tracker Wristwatch
10,000 steps every day is the goal.
38. Discover The Problems This Year
I am not the problem. Alcohol is.
39. Read More This Year
But that’s what you’ve always said.
40. Another Year Not To Be Left Out
When you say “new year, new me,” just because everyone says so every new year.
41. Redefine Myself
When you realize that you’ve been the same every year.
42. Register For The Gym But Never Attend More Than Once
Afterall, making a payment is a sign of commitment.
43. Don’t Allow Anyone Judge You
Not even the new year.
44. We Go Again And Even Harder
Even if we still don’t achieve everything we hoped for by the end of this year.
45. Ditch New You For a Better You
Maybe just focusing on improvement would save you more heartache than making a long list of resolutions.
46. Somebody, Please Wake Me Up
But there is something magical on New Year’s Day. Isn’t there?
47. Stop Wishing and Start Doing
This isn’t funny anymore.
48. Just Be Honest With Myself
Are we being honest now?
49. New Year’s Resolutions Are Supposed To Be a Tool For Self-Improvement
But I forget all before the end of January, only to repeat the same thing next year.
50. New Year’s Resolutions, But There Is Always An Excuse
What’s your excuse for not taking New Year’s resolutions seriously? Comment your excuse below.
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