Why so much talk about singlehood, you’d ask. The truth is not far-fetched; singlehood is one very critical period in everyone’s life that determines the trajectory of the rest of their lives. How you build yourself when single will determine what you will become eventually.
Being single comes with its own challenges, whether you have been in a relationship before or not. The feeling of loneliness and desire for love can threaten your happiness and fulfillment as an individual. Hence, you might be looking for ways to stay happy and fulfilled.
The good news is that it is not difficult to be happy and satisfied while single. Singlehood is a normal phase in everyone’s life we all must go through. It is a period where you can achieve a lot if you truly put your mind to it.
People rush into several relationships because they are unable to deal with singlehood. But here are some clear ways to cope with singlehood, and stay happy and focused when single.
1. Meet new people
Staying happy and fulfilled while single requires you to be free to meet new people. Self-isolating yourself won’t do you any good.
Good enough, being single is not the absence of everyone. It is only the absence of a romantic partner who is committed to a relationship with you. That means you have the freedom to make as many friends as you want until you find the one you can call your own partner.
It is easy to meet new people because we all come across, at least one new person on a daily basis. Whether at the mall, at work, or elsewhere, being single does not stop you from making new friends. Some of those friends could add value to your life, career, or business in one way or another.
And eventually, when you want to settle down in marriage, it is from the stock of friends and companions that you will likely pick from. Even if you are naturally introverted, there are many ways to meet new people. The internet has made it even easier.
2. Set clear goals and targets
It is easy to float through life without having clear goals and targets but that can be disastrous in the long run. Singlehood is the time to map out your life and determine how you would arrive at your destiny.
As much as not setting goals is harmful, setting unclear goals can make one confused, unhappy, and depressed about life. Clear goals need to be SMART – Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. These will ensure that you are taking deliberate actions to develop yourself, build your career and/or business, and set the stage for a happy and stable life thereafter.
Lastly, setting clear goals and being deliberate to achieve them will also keep you engaged through periods of boredom and loneliness in singlehood. This can keep you happy and fulfilled with your life as you progress to your next phase of life and development.
3. Find ways to deal with physical desire
Physical desire and need for romance and affection are some of the strongest needs of single people. The body was naturally made to experience those feelings but dealing with them in a healthy can come really handy.
Sometimes you want someone to lean on, talk with, or someone to hold you and share your heart with. Don’t worry, these times will not last forever.
There are other ways to deal with physical desire without necessarily committing to indiscriminate sex when single. One such way is by focusing on your long and short-term goals to see that you achieve them within the stipulated time frame.
Making new friends and close companions is another way to fill this void of singlehood. Some people explore other methods like using adult sex toys to satisfy their sexual desires, especially when they either don’t want to have normal sex or when they don’t have a faithful and consistent sexual partner.
4. Prioritize other relationships
While we can attest that being single will not always be a rosy experience, there is a good side to it. You have a lot of freedom to make countless other beneficial relationships when you are single, and you should not neglect that opportunity.
You get some satisfaction when you build relationships at work, school, social media, sports clubs, volunteer groups, and other similar groups.
Now that you have not found a romantic/relationship partner, deliberately prioritize other relationships which include your friends, family, partners, and colleagues. Building quality relationships will benefit your life and career, as well as teach you important lessons on how to handle a romantic relationship with your partner when you eventually meet him/her.
5. Do not compare with others
By remaining true to yourself without seeking to compare and compete, you will achieve universal respect“. This is true in all situations including dealing with singlehood. Do not compare yourself with other people who are probably married. You have your own timeline.
To stay happy throughout singlehood, you need to understand that you have your own life to live and not share it with anyone else. Comparing your life with others makes you unnecessarily frustrated, desperate, and unhappy at things that are beyond your control.
If you are feeling unhappy and desperate already, say these to yourself: “I am destined for great things”, “I will find the one that gives me true everlasting happiness”; “My time will soon come and nothing can stop it”.
6. Get more productive with your life
You don’t have a second life other than the one you are currently living. Hence, you need to put your best into staying productive all day long.
Getting productive is another source of happiness for a single person. It gives meaning to your life and makes you feel useful to yourself and humanity. The more reason to always think productively instead of focusing on the bad side of singlehood.
Getting productive means you should pursue your skills and personal development, pursue your passions and interests, and see that you succeed in them. Nothing gives more meaning, happiness, and satisfaction to your life than realizing that you are growing from one level to another, not just in age.
Reason to learn to handle singlehood
Instead of rushing into several relationships because you are unable to handle singlehood and the loneliness that may come with it, being able to handle this phase healthfully has its own advantages.
It teaches you the importance of independence, self-reliance, self-discovery, and self-mastery. These fundamental foundations of oneself are needed to set the pace for your future relationships, including career and marriage.
Rushing into an unplanned relationship can also leave you open to vulnerabilities, and heartbreaks. Even if you are facing enormous pressure to enter an unplanned relationship, remember that singlehood is a gift for you to develop yourself to the fullest when you still have it.
