Today, there are so many misconceptions about relationship compatibility. Relationship compatibility has been hard to define by many people. Does compatibility mean a 100% match between two people? Is relationship compatibility always natural or can it be developed?
Facts about relationship compatibility have been shrouded in the clouds of several compatibility tests like Zodiac charts, love tests, and so on. While people always want to know how compatible they are with their potential partners, many evidence-based facts are often not considered.
In this post, you are going to see 6 major facts about relationship compatibility that will change your perception of relationship compatibility.
What is relationship compatibility?
Compatibility in a relationship means that both partners understand and accept each other’s life philosophy and goals, as well as genuinely enjoy being around each other without feeling preoccupied with what they feel needs to change within their partner.
Relationship compatibility has been defined in terms of physical, biological, and emotional criteria. But of these three, emotional compatibility is what is most emphasized. Emotional compatibility is the type of relationship compatibility that has to do with how the partners feel about each other, and the love and affection they share for each other.
Physical compatibility has to do with looks, appearance, and body features. Two people are said to be physically compatible if they match complementary body features. For example, two very short people could be described as relatively incompatible. However, physical compatibility is the least emphasized in most relationships.
Biological compatibility, on the other hand, relates to the biological makeup of the individual. The importance of this type of compatibility in a relationship became more prominent following the scientific discovery of the hereditary transmission of some genetic diseases.
An example to illustrate this is that two partners with the AS genotype are classified as incompatible for a relationship or marriage.
A study was done by Renate M. Houts, Elliot Robins, and Ted L. Huston in 1996, “Compatibility and the Development of Premarital Relationships“, to establish that there are some social similarities (social homogamy) among married people. The social characteristics explored include leisure activities and role performance, and these were used as predictors of compatibility among married couples.
Results indicated that more similarities in social characteristics and leisure preferences correlated with a better matching between the partners, the more love they share during the courtship, and the more motivation they both receive to continue the relationship and stay committed.
These reflect that the major criteria for defining compatibility in a relationship are related to how many similarities in ideas, beliefs, values, and ideologies the partners share.
Compatibility testing in predicting compatibility
Several compatibility testing tools have been invented to predict people’s compatibility with each other. These include the popular Zodiac signs and horoscopes, in general.
Compatibility tests like Zodiac can be very reassuring and can look accurate. The only age-long question against them is, “Should Zodiac be allowed to dictate our lives”.
A study conducted in the UK in 2020 about the validity of Zodiac signs in predicting marriage compatibility and rates of divorce revealed that the number of people who believe in horoscopes and astrology as scientifically provable is increasing.
Another survey by the National Science Board in America highlighted that over 42% of Americans in 2012 claimed that astrology is either “sort of scientific” or in fact, “very scientific”. These studies lend support to people’s willingness and openness to determine their level of relationship compatibility through horoscopes/Zodiac.
Facts about Relationship Compatibility
1. You cannot be 100% compatible with any person
You might have heard about couples who found love at first sight, and you start wondering can I ever find such a perfect partner?
Relationship compatibility entails you sharing a lot in common with your significant other. It does not guarantee a hundred percent match. The importance of this is to give you a heads up so that you don’t expect some fairy-tale stories of perfect love with no flaws or incompatibility.
If you find someone who is, say sixty percent compatible with you based on shared interests, life values, and companionship, you can be guaranteed a blissful union if both of you are committed to each other and the relationship.
2. Disputes and disagreements are not signs of incompatibility
Part of the imperfection of a relationship is that there will always be times of conflict and disagreements, no matter how strong the bond is. These arise not only because of imperfection in every relationship but also because of some unforeseen issues that may arise in the course of the relationship.
To believe that you can never be wronged or offended by someone who loves you is an over-expectation that will result in a very big feeling of disappointment. Problems arise but commitment helps you overcome them. In fact, conflicts are the tests of the strength of the relationship between any union or group.
3. Relationship compatibility can be developed or acquired
Based on the criteria for assessing compatibility, several types of compatibility can be established. Each of those specific types of relationship compatibility have varying levels of modifiability. Compatibility that has to do with your body makeup and genetics cannot be changed voluntarily, but environment-based compatibility can be modified or adapted to.
If all is set, I mean there are no incompatibilities in your genetics, blood types, and the rest, every other type of compatibility can be acquired. That means, if you seem not to be compatible with someone in terms of what interests you have, or what ideologies you believe in, either of both of you can adapt to the differences and develop appropriately.
4. Compatibility is not just love or sexual attraction
Compatiblity is often mistaken for love and feelings of love. While this may be a form of compatibility (of course, you want to feel romantically attracted to someone), they are not synonymous.
Love at first sight might suggest some form of inherent or default compatibility but that is not all there is to compatibility. Most times, the most compatible individuals are those who are flexible enough to bend to the desires of each other. Not one-sided, but equal commitment.
Sexual attraction, often described as chemistry is important in every growing relationship but as far as compatibility is concerned, that is not all there is.
5. Openness is key to unlocking compatibility with your partner
As already talked about, it takes your mutual commitment to unlock compatibility with your partner. Many people pretend or hide their behaviours simply because they want to align with their significant other. This, however, will not bring out any true compatibility between you and your partner.
Your partner should be able to see you for who you are, and be willing enough to accept you that way. This is the perfect definition of compatibility, and not some key that perfectly fits the lock.
While adapting to your partners characters, beliefs, and behaviours, you must carefully guide your core beliefs, values and dreams. These are often central to your own existence as a functional human being and you must not let any relationship take them away from you.
6. Commitment is the greatest test of compatibility
Show me the most compatible relationship in the world, I will show you two individuals who are committed to each other. No matter the differences, incompatibilities, and imperfection in any relationship, you can navigate through if you are committed and you stay so.
Instead of fleeing at the mere sight of incompatibility, first look if they do not violate your core principles, ideologies and values. It they do, you must run off without looking back.
But if they don’t violate your core values, desires or principles, or if they are based on superficial factors like race, color, and the rest, be assured that you can make it work if you stay committed.
Final words
We have seen what compatibility is, how it is tested and 6 important facts about relationship compatibility. The aim of this post is to enlighten you to make more informed choices of who to be with or not.
Most relationship compatibility criteria can be developed or acquired. What this means is that you don’t have to expect a perfect match with anybody or run away at the sight of the slightest differences.
