It’s no news that relationship advice from the internet is not always the most wholesome. People don’t care so much what the impact of their advice might be and you might end up taking advice that hurts your relationship so badly to the point of no return.
That notwithstanding, there are a lot of helpful relationship tips and advice you can get online. Now, in the midst of harsh inconsiderate relationship advice, how do you fish out the best to live your life and build peace in your relationship?
This post will show you some of the best ways to filter out sound relationship advice online, including Reddit, Twitter (no X), and Facebook. Enjoy your read!
Generally, relationship advice from the Internet and social is free and readily available but they are often not individual-specific. That is, a piece of advice you receive from the internet or social media may not exactly fit your specific relationship situation and, hence might not be reliable.
Social media platforms are arguably the most common online sources of relationship advice. These include Reddit, Facebook, and Twitter (now X).
Reddit is one of the largest online platforms that offers relationship advice. You can instantly get relationship advice from its “r/relationship_advice” subreddit without paying any consultation fee. However, more than 90% of the relationship advice you’d get from the platform is biased, misleading, and based on sentiments and hatred.
On Facebook, relationship advice tends to be more objective and honest. This is because content is not usually based on a question-answer format. The author is oftentimes writing to enlighten his/her audience from their own experience or prior knowledge.
However, the author may not have enough experience or information on the topic in question, or the content of the relationship advice may not be based on facts or verified data. But if you are able to keep in touch with a verified relationship expert, you may get quality and helpful relationship advice from Facebook.
Last but not least, X (formerly Twitter), just like other platforms, contains a mixture of information. Most relationship advice you would get is toxic, as most people appear to be catching a cruise without realizing if you are serious or not.
In all the platforms, participants who are genuinely interested in giving you relationship advice may not fully understand the peculiarity of your case and may give you advice based on their own experiences that may not fit into yours.
How to get sound relationship advice online
Considering how cheap, quick, and readily available online relationship advice is, the internet is a first-line place most people run to for relationship advice. However, relationship advice from the internet may be detrimental, causing more harm than good.
That does not mean there is no sound relationship advice online. There are individuals on the internet who would carefully analyze your relationship problem and offer specialized relationship advice just like a relationship therapist would. The question is how do you vet only relationship advice to get sound advice?
1. Choose the platform
If you are going to post a relationship question on the internet/social media, the platform determines the soundness of the response you will get back.
Twitter/X users are always in a hurry and would provide hurried and sometimes careless relationship advice to you.
Facebook users might not respond to your well-written relationship advice question because they prefer media content (images and videos). The few who reply may be inexperienced.
Reddit r/relationship_advice subreddit is comparatively a better platform to request relationship advice online.
2. Study the person offering the advice
Some people offering relationship advice online might not have enough experience, and some might be offering relationship advice sometimes mixed with bitterness from a past relationship experience.
The first thing you must do to ensure you get sound and beneficial relationship advice online is to study who is offering the advice. Does the person have enough experience on the subject, are they going through some emotional or physical trauma, or is the person doing so just to get likes and comments?
3. Understand the intent
The intent of relationship advice you find online is the underlying purpose the author intends it to accomplish.
The intent could be to solve your specific problem, it could be to pour out their heart following a hard emotional experience, or it could be simply to garner comments and likes. You must take time to understand the intent before taking the advice.
4. Ask questions objectively without sentiments
Some people ask relationship questions online while obviously pushing their rage into the question. The problem with this approach is that users would oftentimes be tempted to pacify their rage by using choice words that will show that they are on your side, instead of providing objective answers to you.
5. Don’t be swayed by majority opinion
When it comes to the internet and social, majority opinion is not always the best. People can publicly subscribe to an opinion just because it is trending, or because it is politically correct. You should be careful not to be swayed by the number of likes or supporting comments a relationship advice has online.
6. Even better keep your relationship private
Instead of taking chances in finding the right advice for your relationship problem, it is safer to keep your relationship private and off the internet. People have a lot of issues to worry about and taking your relationship issues online burdens them.
But if you must inquire online about your relationship, do so on a platform where you can be anonymous or ask the question as though you are asking for another person.
Also, there are a few platforms that offer specialized relationship counseling services. You should use those instead.
7. Don’t act impulsively
No matter how convincing a piece of online relationship advice seems, never act impulsively on it. Take time to think about the possible outcomes and consequences before you apply them to your situation.
Some authors may pressurize you to take action from the way they write their responses but you must resist the urge to act instantaneously on those pieces of advice without thinking thoroughly about them.
Pros and cons of getting relationship advice online (Case study: Reddit)
Using Reddit as a case study, we will see some pros and cons of getting relationship advice online.
Pros
- Relationship advice consultations on Reddit are free. You don’t have to pay any consultation fee.
- There is no social stigma as you can ask questions anonymously while concealing information like age or sex that may introduce bias.
- There are millions of people who can give their opinions. There are over 6 million participants in the r/relationship_advice subreddit, offering more opinions for you to choose from.
- It is fast. You can get answers within seconds compared to when you have to drive down to a physical consultation session.
Cons
- Most of the participants are inexperienced. A study published in 2021[1]Dirty Laundry: The Nature and Substance of seeking relationship help from strangers online – Charlotte Entwistle, Andrea B. Horn, Tabea Meier, Ryan L. Boyd, 2021 – Sagepub Journal showed that the majority of users in the r/relationship_advice subreddit fall within 18-24 years. This age bracket does not contain very experienced individuals.
- Most are only interested in public recognition. Unfortunately, the best opinions are not the most popular. Many users simply want to get upvotes and comments and do not care about the consequences of their comments. On Reddit, users could say anything to get Karma points.
- Relationship advice from the internet can be too harsh. A real relationship therapist reviewed some top-rated answers obtained from the r/relationship_advice subreddit and found that most were too harsh and sentimental, and not based on careful judgment.
Should you seek/take relationship advice from the internet?
According to a story published on Refinery.com, a lady was advised on Reddit to break up with her boyfriend after she narrated her relationship challenge to Redditors in the r/relationship_advice subreddit. After the breakup, she regrets following the advice without giving her boyfriend a chance to speak for himself.
Studies have shown that the advantages of seeking relationship advice online include easy access and the elimination of stigma through anonymity.
There is nothing wrong with seeking relationship advice from the internet. You just have to do it the right way and be careful to filter out sound advice from malignant ones.
Also, avoid divulging sensitive information about your relationship to the general public. It makes you look immature and less able to handle your relationship issues yourself without jumping to the internet to ask someone.
Discuss relationship issues with your partner
Most of the time, a simple dialogue can fix some relationship issues we battle with but most of us are either too scared or too proud to call for a conversation. There is a place to discuss your concerns with your partner before taking the issue elsewhere.
There may not be a need to seek relationship advice from the internet if we cultivate the habit of dialogue when things are beyond our individual control. If a dialogue fails, you might then proceed to involve a third party for help.
Consult an online relationship expert
If you need advice concerning issues in your relationship with your partner, it is best to consult a relationship. You can do that by booking a visit with a professional relationship consultant.
Sometimes you may want to consult someone who is not necessarily a professional relationship consultant whom you know has sound experience and knowledge about relationships and conflict resolution. In that case, look out for the following qualities:
- Has enough experience, or has studied relationship dynamics and human relationships well enough.
- Is not judgmental or biased.
- Gives relationship advice without sentiments.
When any of these is not present, you should consider looking for someone else or a professional relationship consultant who is trained to uphold confidentiality as well as provide advice without bias or sentiments.
To conclude, it is possible to get sound relationship advice from the internet. However, care must be taken to filter out sound advice from the majority of biased and sentimental ones when seeking relationship advice from the internet.
Have you ever sought relationship advice from the internet? Kindly tell us your experience in the comments below.
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