Have you ever heard of the statement that we only fall in love three times in our lifetime? If yes, what did you think about it? How true could it be?
You have been in several relationships, each ending in a fatal breakup but here I am telling you that you only fall in love three times in your lifetime. Am I the only one who thinks something is off about the statement?
For many centuries, philosophers and mystics have believed that we only fall in love with three people in our lifetime, each for a specific purpose. And I hereby reaffirm that we only fall in love with three people in our lifetime. Here is what that means.
You Only Fall In Love Three Times In Your Lifetime
Falling in love is a special feeling. It describes the highest level of emotional vulnerability and it is characterized by feelings of love and deep affection for someone.
Falling in love with someone is often the confirmatory sign that they are ready to advance even further in their relationship with each other. It signals an intense sense of compatibility for marriage and togetherness, but it is not always a prerequisite for marriage.
Many people get married without experiencing the electrifying feelings of being in love. Several people, likely including you, have been in a relationship without feeling deeply in love with their partner. That is to say that not all your past relationships are borne out of falling in love. Amazing, if you have not already, you would truly fall in love only three times in your lifetime.
Falling In Love The First Time
This is the love that feels right. You probably first experienced this love while in high school. It is the idealistic love that feels perfect just like the love in fairy tails.
This is the love that appeals to what we should be doing for society’s sake, and even though you might find yourself sacrificing away your personal beliefs and truths, you still believe that this will be your only love and it does not matter if it doesn’t seem quite right.
This is the love that makes you act stupidly and when it ends, it takes away a significant part of your being. This love teaches you that love is more than just feelings; and also that love is not forced but comes naturally when you find the right person.
Falling In Love The Second Time
This is the love that breaks us. This time, we are trying to do things differently but we unconsciously unravel this love in the process. You genuinely fall in love this time with the expectation that we can make it work. This time, it’s not about how it appeals to society and family but rather we love our partner for who they are, irrespective of what society or family think.
Oftentimes, this love fails because you might not get what you expect from it. It is called the hard love because it ends up in hurt, through lies, pain, manipulation or lack of affection. But it teaches us a lesson about who we are and how we want to be loved.
It may occur in repeated cycles with the same person, with you trying to do things differently each time but ending differently and often worse than previous cycles. In the end, you learn the most important lessons about love and emotional maturity.
After being exhausted from trying and trying again, you leave without regrets or self-blame, realising that you deserve someone who puts the same effort into loving you as you do for them.
Falling In Love The Third Time
This third time is the love that lasts. You go about living your life normally, passively searching for someone who is different from the earlier loves you’ve had. Then, this love comes to change our lives forever.
It is the love we never see coming and shows up unannounced. It comes for you at the time you least expected and it just fits.
We are simply accepted for who we are already, there are no ideal expectations about how each person should act or behave, or change into someone we are not. And whereas it may not always start off very interestingly, it is the love that keeps knocking regardless of how long it takes you to answer.
You no longer have to hide your flaws and imperfections; they accept you for who you are. It comes so easy it does not seem possible and the connection sweeps you off the ground because you never planned for it. This love shows you what love is about and you will never need to look for another.
Why We Have To Fall In Love Three Times
Finding love is a journey and while we fall in love only three times in our lifetime, each has its specific reason. Whereas the characters may be different or more than three, these represent distinct phases of love that we must transition through until we find true love.
In 2020, Kate Rose published the book “You Only Fall in Love Three Times: The Secret Search for Our Twin Flame”. In this book, she re-established the three times we fall in love as follows: the soulmate love, the karmic love and the twin flame. Aside from the descriptions for these three times, she also linked these to the development of our job description for the kind of partner we want.
You might say it is not necessary to fall in love up to three times. Of course, you will be able to cite people who are happy with the first person they ever fell in love with. Numerically, while you may have fallen with three exact individuals, more or less, you cannot fully understand the depths of what love is until you learn the lessons taught by these stages.
While that is beautiful, there is always a need to go through these three phases, even if not deliberately. The lessons you learn about love after your second love make you more prepared to keep your partner even though the efforts might not be the secret of your togetherness – love is.
How Long Does It Take Until You Find The Third Love?
It might take a lifetime until you find your third love, but if you are lucky, you can find your third love on the first or second try. It is not a matter of how many times you have ever loved someone. It is a matter of when we are ready for love to find us.
If you learn the lessons quick enough, it might take you a shorter time to find your true love. The third love comes only after you realise that your efforts alone do not find your love. Love finds you.
It is therefore not compulsory to take through the three steps before love finds you. It depends on what you know. But whereas the first two love feels amazing in their own regards, the third love is unmatched in all ramifications. It is the love we never see coming, the same love that actually lasts.
Love is a beautiful experience we should have in our lifetime. Falling in love may not follow a smooth path but through the hitches and glitches, we find some of our greatest lessons about true love.
Isn’t it relatable that we fall in love three times in our lifetime? Let me know.
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