I am an introvert. And yes I fully realise the irony of my writing this post but hear me out. I am a people magnet and noticed that wherever I go, I make more friends. I always have a group of people to hang out with. Which made me think: Why? Because as I said I’m an introvert and I don’t particularly go out seeking friends. Yet I somehow get people to like me. So I thought about it and guess what I know the secret to how to make people like you and get more friends. Here are some tips to make people like you
How to make people like you?
When I was a child our family kept moving from city to city because my dad’s company kept transferring him every two years or so. Which meant I had to make friends and make people like me wherever I go. At some point, it had become my second nature to get adapted to new situations and make get people to like me and make new friends. Here are the things that I’ve been doing that got me friends and will help you to get people to like you too.
Know your value
It always starts with you. People will like you more when you know about yourself better, when you are self-sufficient and when you are confident. Think back to your high school days. Think about that popular kid you so badly wanted to be friends with. That popular kid did not make people like them by second-guessing themselves, did they?
So the first step to making someone like you is to love yourself first. This will give you enough confidence and that confidence will eventually attract more friends. But being confident does not mean being arrogant, which brings us to the second point
Make others feel valued
This should be obvious. No one wants to be friends with people who treat them like trash. That kind of friendship or relationship is considered toxic for a reason. Let people you want to like you back know you are a good person who respects others.
How do you do this? For starters, you can straight up say that “I appreciate you spending time with me”, “I’m lucky to have you.” or “I’m glad that I met you.”
You can also make them feel valued by asking for advice from them or their opinion. People always feel good when they realise someone thinks of them as a useful person. And people always love to express their opinion. That’s why Twitter still exists.
Acknowledge their wins
I noticed that I have this tendency to go out of my way and say congratulations when I see that someone has achieved something, even if they are a competitor or a stranger. That tendency has made me quite a few friends. Looking back now, some of my good friends were once my competitors including that kid with whom I competed coming first in class back in 7th grade.
So whenever you see someone accomplish something or win something go up to them and congratulate them. I’d say throwing them a party is a better idea, but only for people you know well.
Genuinely care about people
If you want to make someone like you, then you should care about them. That is the whole point of having friends in the first place. If they are in a tough spot help them out, and support them in their hardest times. Be on the lookout for them and recognise when they are feeling low. A good friend should know that their friend is not feeling great without them having to say it.
Another way to show that you care is to follow up on conversations. Remember what they said and ask questions like “Hey, you said your pet was ill. How is he now?” or “You said you will be out of town the next Friday, would you like me to keep you updated about what happens here?” Asking questions like this flatter people because you not only listened to them but also remembered them and are helpful about it. Now, aren’t you a gem of a friend?
Body language and mannerisms
Another obvious point, you cannot possibly march to a person and demand them to be your friend. Here are some simple points that you should keep in mind when it comes to body language
- Smile a lot. Makes you approachable
- Don’t stare. It’s rude and it makes you look creepy
- Maintain eye contact while talking to someone
- Nod when someone is speaking so that they know you are listening
- Actually, pay attention to what they are saying
- Instead of using words like “mhmm” or “yeah”, use sentences like “Yes, I understand.” or “Okay. I’ll get that done.”
Additionally, if you are approaching a person for the first time, make your intentions clear within the first few seconds. The small talk can come later. Why? Because when people don’t know what you want from them, they will be on guard with shields all the way up. Their thoughts would be racing “Who is this?” “What do they want from me?” “Why are they talking to me?” Clarifying that will make them relax and you can have a more comfortable conversation. Making them feel comfortable is one of the effective ways to make someone like you back.
It’s not everyone’s forte to be funny. I understand that. You don’t have to make them double down with laughter. Make a few funny quips. More often than not saying out loud your weird (weird not creepy) thoughts makes people laugh. Or if you are more of a physical comedian do that. This one time when I was doing my graduation, I applied gel to my hair to make it look like a tower and the whole class howled with laughter.
Talk about embarrassing moments you’ve had. There’s this podcast called The Mortified Podcast. The sole aim of it is to invite people to talk about their most embarrassing moments and more than 2000 people listen to it. Why? Because people like that kind of story even though they may feel second-hand embarrassment. So yeah, talk about that one really humiliating moment you had as a child.
Also, be a great storyteller, people love stories. That’s why we watch movies and TV shows to this date.
Admit your mistakes
Put aside your ego when it comes to friends. That should have been pretty clear when I told you to talk about your weird thoughts and embarrassing moments. The ego is something you should have for selected situations and it has nothing to do with friendships. People will like you when you can admit your mistakes and can apologize genuinely. If there is an argument, do not aim to “win” aim to resolve the conflict. Your friends are more important than you winning and feeling good for just a moment. Even if you are on the right, I’d suggest making them understand by calmly explaining rather than accusing them.
You make more friends when more people like you
People should genuinely enjoy spending time with you. When they understand that you are a really good person who wants to be their friend and they happen to enjoy spending time with you, there is nothing that stops them from being your friend. Another upside to this is, when they like you, they’ll introduce you to their other friends and you get the opportunity to make more friends. But remember quantity is never greater than quantity. Your friends should be supporting and accept you the way you are. If not, they are not meant to be your friend. It’s as simple as that.
All things said I want you to remember the infamous quote
“You can’t make everyone happy, you are not pizza”
There will be people who may not like you back, in that case, do not fall into the trap of changing yourself to make them like you. Never value yourself based on how many friends you have or how many people like you. Finally, don’t overdo any of these tips to make people like you. Friendships take time to grow. Give it the time it needs.
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