Entering into a new relationship can be very exciting. We cannot deny that the euphoria of love can be such a sweet experience, but before seriously committing to a new relationship, here are 23 fundamental questions you need to ask yourself and your partner. Two(2) will be questions to ask yourself before entering a new relationship, while the rest 21 will be questions to ask your new partner.
By definition, a relationship is said to be new if it is at most 3 months old. So, if your relationship is still within three months, you are very eligible for this article. Also, if you are not currently in a relationship, this is something you might want to learn before you enter your next relationship.
Just a little heads up! Asking questions in a new relationship helps you learn more about your new partner and understand them. But this process can be quite challenging because of two reasons; first, knowing the right questions to ask, and second, knowing how to ask them to avoid irritating your partner. In this article, everything concerning the questions for a new relationship will be thoroughly dealt with.
Questions to ask yourself before committing to a new relationship
You might think you have answers about yourself but sometimes you might need to be honest with yourself and sit back to ask yourself some basic questions. Here are some fundamental questions you need to ask yourself before entering a new relationship.
1. Am I ready for a relationship now?
Entering a relationship unprepared can be a big disaster for both you and your partner. Hence, it is important to ask yourself these questions before getting committed to the relationship. Readiness to a relationship involves a lot of factors including but not limited to the following;
- Financial readiness – are you doing something that makes you independent?
- Emotional readiness – are you ready to fall in love(again)?
- Psychological readiness – are you ready for the stress that can come from a relationship?
These are three basic readiness questions you need to ask yourself to know if you halt and prepare yourself first, or make the necessary changes and move on with the relationship.
2. Do I truly like him/her?
Asking someone if they like him/her can sound like a stupid question, especially when they are obviously doing everything possible to get him/her. But the truth is, you can be so attracted to someone without truly considering them a part of your life in the future. Sometimes, people don’t realize this, thus, they might act on their feelings as though they are right.
In order to know if you truly like someone, you need to consider a lot of factors beyond just appearance and looks. These might include factors like race, profession, education, ideology, religion, etc. You don’t use these as criteria to exclude or include someone outrightly. Rather, you need to factor them in while considering if you would really like them now and in the future.
On the basis of these two questions, you need to ask your new partner some fundamental questions that will help you place them where they should be in your life, and also for you to know where they wish to place you in their life as well.
21 Questions for a New Relationship
I assume that by now you already know each other’s name, have exchanged phone numbers, and know where your new partner lives even if you might have not visited them yet. Here, we will look at 21 fundamental questions to ask your partner in your new relationship.
1. Are you looking for a commitment?
This question hits the nail on the head. It tells you if this relationship got a chance or if it’s just another situationship.
2. What does friendship mean to you?
Friendship is the foundation of any relationship, be it emotional or otherwise. This question helps you find out about the friends they kept for years and how much they value the gift of friendship.
3. What are some of the hobbies you are passionate about?
If you genuinely ask your new partner about their hobbies and passions, it means you are interested in their growth. If they tell you, they don’t have any passion, you can begin by trying your best to spur them into becoming passionate about, a least, one thing in life.
4. What inspires you the most?
This is a great way to start the questions. You want to know what inspires your new partner; their passions and motivations.
If you genuinely ask your new partner about their hobbies and passions, it means you are interested in their growth. If they tell you, they don’t have any passion, you can begin by trying your best to spur them into becoming passionate about, a least, one thing in life.
5. Where have you always wanted to travel to?
Ask where your partner would like to travel to the most. Also, ask them who they would like to carry along; their spouse, their family, or friends.
6. Do you believe in God?
Religion is very important as far as the relationship is concerned. You could ask them this question in varying ways to see where their religious faith lies and how firmly they believe in God.
7. What is the most important thing to do on your bucket list before you die?
Many of the 21 questions here are just for fun, right? This question will give you an idea of their sense of adventure and what they love to have their adventure.
8. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
Mothers hold a great part of everyone’s life. For a guy, you want to know how he treats or values the women in his life. For a lady, you won’t know how submissive she is to guidance and instructions. The answer will give you insights into these.
9. Why did you cry the last time you did so?
This is a really personal question that will provide insights into their soft spots and how easily irritated your new partner can be. You might want to wait till after the first month before you ask this question and when you do, try not to take it as a joking matter.
10. What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever done?
This is another fun question. You just want to get them to be as open as possible, while you share yours too. I just need to know your shame so well that, you don’t feel it around me anymore.
11. What is your position in your family?
Whether you like it or not, your partner’s position in the family determines a lot about how they behave. You want to know if they are the first, middle, or last child. Even if for no serious reasons, it won’t be out of place just to know.
12. How many children would you want to have?
You might say it’s too early to ask this question in your new relationship, but it wouldn’t cause any harm, would it? Rather, it will make your partner know that you are serious about spending the rest of your life with them.
13. What do you do when you are lonely and bored
This is something you should know. If one can tell the level of their productivity – a productive person is more likely to engage in some productive task when they are lonely. You should try not to attach any real significance to them yet.
14. Which of your siblings is closest to you?
The major reason why this question is important is to know who you can relate well to when you have issues with your partner in the future. Your partner is most likely to listen to the sibling they are closest to than the rest, especially if they are many.
15. Have you ever had an STD?
This is a big bomb right there. Depending on the stage of the relationship you are in, this might be difficult to ask. However, it can establish more openness and trustworthiness between you both. If it might sound too intrusive, consider rephrasing it to “when was the last time you got tested”?
16. Are there any exes still in the picture?
This is a new relationship between you and your new partner, but it does not mean it is the first relationship for either of you. You need to ask this question to know where you belong. If there are any exes, you might want to take time to find out how your partner’s relationship experiences have been so far.
17. How do you define cheating in a relationship?
Talk about this and lay down some ground rules for both parties to avoid any misunderstanding.
18. Do you love parties?
Partying is perhaps the one thing most young people do. Ask them about partying while keeping an open mind – a yes or no is equally acceptable.
19. What in your life are you most grateful for?
Another way to feel some more butterflies in your belly. You can begin imagining how your partner would respond that meeting you is the one thing they are most grateful for. But remain calm and cool if you don’t hear them say that.
20. What are your thoughts about marriage?
This question already reveals to your new partner that you are already planning marriage with them and it can help you understand what they understand about marriage, if they are ready to marry or if they are mature enough to handle marriage and its outcome should it happen fast enough for both of you.
21. If you had one day left to live, who would you spend it with?
Of course, we know what you expect to hear. But it feels great to hear it once more, as it can go a long way to reinforce your commitment to making the relationship work.
Final Words
The goal of asking these questions in your new relationship is to understand your partner better and their commitment to you. You don’t have to be in a rush to ask these questions. It could take days or weeks until you would feel ready to ask about some of the questions. Whatever it is, follow your heart and take it slowly.
Asking questions in a new relationship is important, because how else can you find out about your partner? Social media? Well, that works for some people too. Anyways, while there are many more questions you could ask your partner in your new relationship, I have adapted these 21 questions for a new relationship.
I hope it was an interesting read!
