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How I Met My Wife


Source: Canva, meet your wife

It was one fateful evening when I met this beautiful young lady. I immediately felt a stroke of attraction to her. She was a young girl in her early twenties with a nice hair-do and a wonderful dress that sent me hoping that she was the one for me.
And then, a few months down the line, we became worlds apart like the way we were before we met. Indeed, she was just the kind of girl I would love to get married to. But you know, true-life stories have their unpleasant parts too.

Finding the right spouse is a great deal in the present times, but understanding the factors to consider makes the job a whole lot easier. And in this post, I have decided to inquire from a few married people about how they knew their spouse was the one for them. So, this will help you know better when your spouse finally arrives in your life.

The title may be misleading but the tips you will see here can be applied for both genders in most of the cases.

I recall being in an interview for a leadership position, the questions kept pouring in from every side. But not too long after, the interviewer wanted to know about my relationship status.
And I was quick to respond in the affirmation that I was with someone at the moment. The interviewer became more curious and sought to find out if we were both committed to the relationship at that time. And the way I replied betrayed me that my confidence was gradually waning.

Really not sure, shutterstock
So he decided to educate me further on relationship and marriage affairs as a bonus plan to the interview I went for. In my naivety, I listened to what he has to say, thought about them for days but I was too afraid to act on them immediately.
He told me that some relationships that appear rosy may not actually end up well. He told me how he had his heartbroken by a girl he truly loved and I immediately thought of call it quit with the girl I was currently with for two reasons. First, I wasn't too sure if I was going to be with her forever and second, I didn't want to end up having a heartbreak like my interviewer did some time ago.

After hearing his own relationship experience, I felt I shared so much in common with him. Was it just a stroke of fate?
Learning from the experiences of married people will help you avoid some mistakes that they may have made. So I decided to make your valentine worthwhile by drawing from the experiences of these people. But still, I will keep them anonymous, highlighting the attributes or sign that made them know who their spouse was.
Here are some qualities that made some married people know for sure who their spouse was.

1. They give you peace of mind and you are comfortable when you are around them

Peace of mind, shutterstock
One of the people I interrogated revealed to me that he knew that the woman he married would be her wife because he always finds peace of mind and freedom around her.
It all started as distant-observations of the girl he so admired while they were still in high school (secondary level education). They, fortunately, had to study at the same tertiary institution, where they consummated their relationship even more.

Just a few years back, they got married and he is never regretting that decision. In his own words, he said, "she gives me peace of mind".
Finding someone who makes you feel at home is a big sign that they may be the one you have been looking for. With them, there is no fear of making mistakes though you do not want to offend them. Everything is done out of love and they make you feel comfortable.
This is a very serious attribute that many people ignored only to meet the consequences in the near future.

2. Compatibility in understanding

Compatibility, canva
This post seems to focus on the men for a few obvious but not-to-mention reasons. This other married man emphasized that seeing how compactible they were to each other, he was totally sure she was the wife he has been searching for.
In his own view, compatibility has the following components: understanding, patience, vision-bearing, good character, and the willingness to help you fulfil your collective goals.

This point-like the way he spelt it out has broadly encompassed so many things that I would have grouped separately.
Everything seems to all flow seamlessly together because you only actually find peace when there are understanding and compatibility.
I had written a post here on compatibility earlier. But the fact remains that compatibility is one of the most vaguely understood concepts in relationships. I hope you will learn more about compatibility in that previous post.

3. Willing to carry your vision

Support, shutterstock
Let this be the last marriage story for this post. A newly-married couple were celebrating their honeymoon period joyously. But then it was time to reveal some hardcore secrets to the yet unmarried folks.
One major thing that made him sure that her wife was the right one is the response he got when he told his wife (then wife-to-be) that they need to visit the orphanage home on his birthday. And lo, she was there.
On another occasion, he deceived her that she should come around that he had a little problem. And lo again, the young woman had to skip school just to honour him.

At the point when all scepticism of who to finally spend your life with beginning to disappear, it is most likely because you have seen what you can never find in other women/men towards you.

Any of these attitudes can be feigned but one fact everyone knows is that it does not usually last as long before the truth is revealed.
The above point makes it advisable to observe who you want to marry for a longer time than just staying committed to 'love at first sight'.
That is to say, even when these are obviously being expressed in a would-be-partner, care and patience must be taken to ensure that they are from a genuine heart.

There are still some few points that may also tell who the right person is and one of the trusted sources I consulted bold gave the following outlines. The right person is someone who;
  • understands where you are going and is willing to go with you
  • loves you for who you are, and not what you can give them
  • is equally as interested in you as you are interested in them
  • is always willing to help and wants to be there for you
  • wants to be a part of your success story and not the end product only
  • is loyal and submissive.
Not everyone would want to follow the same life path as you. They may not really be bad people in the real sense but they are just not the ones for you.
Certain professions do not all go well with people. I have often heard of people that insist that they can never marry a clergyman. To some others, that is their first choice.

Understanding the life of your partner-to-be is important, more importantly, is the readiness to journey through life with them and most importantly is the willingness to adapt to some changes of plans that may arise by the way. This requires a great deal of commitment indeed.

The female folks are naturally the dependent gender in the world and that implies that the driving force of the man should remain the strongest driving force in the home. That, therefore, means the woman must be someone who is ready to submit to the drives of her husband in career and decisions.
Even though this submission may be emphasized, another thing worth noting is the fact that both parties are not left out from the art and science of submission. It should be a mutual affair.

Mutuality is something that must be confirmed before any relationship is allowed to advance to the greater heights. And the best and truest love is when it involves people who love themselves for who they are and not for what they are or they can give.
Many marriages based on what they stand to benefit have always, and I say always ran into failure head-on. But it should be based on what you can offer to your spouse, how you can benefit them even before marriage. This is a clear indicator for who the right one for you is.

The behaviour of one lady to one guy may be entirely different from how it will be to another guy. Thus, reiterating that not everyone is meant to fit into your own space with the same ease. You especially get more confident in your decision to choose a wife when you find certain attributes some I which I have summarised above.

In essence, therefore, many marital and premarital problems can be avoided when people are able to pick up early warning signs of impending marriage failure.
However, it is not always that easy to decide especially when you get blinded by other factors/attributes that may not be as essential.
One can also choose to get committed to someone who does not give one the best one deserve. I wouldn't entirely fault this, after all, humans are hardly ever perfect.

But one thing you must determine before you proceed is clearly finding out if the person is willing to journey through life with you. The above points will be a very useful guide on knowing how to determine this.

Someone that you truly understand and freely expresses yourself with is someone who has trusted you and your life's journey enough to reveal themselves to you. In this case, all doubts are removed until you are assured and reassured that they are the one for you.
Thank you for reading through. It's time for you to show some love in the comments box below.


Prosper Yole

I am a lifestyle blogger, I write useful articles on successful life tips and hacks. Posts bearing Prosper Yole as author are either written by the blog author himself or by our various other contributors. Thank you for reading through. I look forward to having you more often. Please subscribe to my feeds below...

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